ia 


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THE  LIBRARY 

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"  I  suppose  you  can  guess  why  I  sent  for  you,  Jane-Ellen,"  Crane  said 


COME  OUT 


OF  THE  KITCHEN! 


A  ROMANCE 


BY 

ALICE  DUER  MILLER 

WITH  ILLUSTRATIONS  BY 
PAUL  MEYLAN 


NEW  YORK 

THE  CENTURY  CO. 

1916 


Copyright,  1916,  by 
THE  CENTURY  Co. 


Copyright,  1915,  by 

INTERNATIONAL  MAGAZINK  COMPANY 
(HARPER'S  BAZAR) 


Published,  April,  1916 


ps 

?  £"     )  ^ 

(5c- 

LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAGE 

"  I  suppose  you  can  guess  why  I  sent  for  you,  Jane-Ellen," 
Crane  said Frontispiece 

Jane-Ellen  sprang  forward   and  snatched  the  cat  from 
Tucker's  knee 37 

"You  had  better  be  careful,  sir" 59 

Cora 77 

Lily 99 

Jane-Ellen 125 

At  the  sight  of  Crane,  Jane-Ellen  stopped  with  a  gesture 
of  the  utmost  horror 143 

"  Think  you  that  we  shall  ever  meet  again  ?  " .     .     .     .  165 

"Cora,"  said  Crane,  "is  that  your  hat?" 171 

But  here  something  very  unfortunate  happened   .     .     .  233 

"  And  there  was  no  truth  in  it  ?  " 259 

Claudia 269 


±522823 


COME  OUT 
OF  THE  KITCHEN! 


THE  window  of  Randolph  Reed's  office  was 
almost  completely  covered  by  magnificent 
gold  block  lettering.  This  to  any  one  who  had 
time  and  ability  to  read  it  —  and  the  former  was 
more  common  in  the  community  than  the  latter  — 
conveyed  the  information  that  Reed  dealt  in  every 
kind  of  real  estate,  from  country  palaces  to  city 
flats.  The  last  item  was  put  in  more  for  the  sake 
of  symmetry  than  accuracy,  for  the  small  Southern 
town  contained  nothing  approaching  an  apartment 
house. 

From  behind  this  pattern  of  gold,  Reed  peered 
eagerly  one  autumn  afternoon,  chewing  the  end  of 
a  frayed  cigar,  and  listening  for  the  sound  of  a 
motor.  He  was  a  stout  young  man,  of  an  amiable 
though  unreadable  countenance,  but  like  many  peo- 

3 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

pie  of  a  heavy  build,  he  was  capable  of  extreme 
quickness  of  movement.  This  was  never  more 
clearly  shown  than  when,  about  four  o'clock,  the 
wished  for  sound  actually  reached  his  ears.  A 
motor  was  approaching. 

With  a  bound  Reed  left  the  window,  and,  seated 
at  his  desk,  presented  in  the  twinkling  of  an  eye 
the  appearance  of  a  young  American  business  man, 
calm  and  efficient,  on  an  afternoon  of  unusual 
business  pressure.  He  laid  papers  in  piles,  put 
them  in  clips  and  took  them  out,  snapped  rubber 
bands  about  them  with  frenzied  haste,  and  finally 
seizing  a  pen,  he  began  to  indite  those  well-known 
and  thrilling  words:  "  Dear  Sir:  Yours  of  the 
1 5th  instant  received  and  contents — "  when  the 
motor  drew  up  before  his  door. 

It  was  an  English  car;  all  green  and  nickel;  it 
moved  like  an  expert  skater  on  perfect  ice.  As 
it  stopped,  the  chauffeur  dropped  from  his  place 
beside  the  driver.  The  driver  himself,  removing 
his  glasses,  sprang  from  the  car  and  up  the  office 
steps,  slapping  the  pockets  of  his  coat  as  he  did 
so  in  a  search  which  soon  appeared  to  be  for  ciga 
rettes  and  matches. 

4 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Sorry  to  be  late,"  he  said. 

Reed,  who  had  looked  up  as  one  who  did  not  at 
once  remember,  in  his  vast  preoccupation,  either 
his  visitor  or  his  business,  now  seemed  to  recall 
everything.  He  waved  the  newcomer  to  a  chair, 
with  a  splendid  gesture. 

"  Doubtless  the  roads,"  he  began. 

"  Roads !  "  said  the  other.  "  Mud-holes.  No, 
we  left  Washington  later  than  I  intended.  Well, 
have  you  got  the  house  for  me?  " 

Reed  offered  his  client  a  cigar. 

"  No,  thank  you,  prefer  my  cigarette  if  you 
don't  mind." 

Reed  did  not  mind  in  the  least.  The  real  estate 
business  in  Vestalia  was  never  brilliant,  and  several 
weeks'  profits  might  easily  have  been  expended  in 
one  friendly  smoke. 

His  client  was  a  man  under  thirty,  of  a  type  that 
used  to  be  considered  typically  American  —  that 
is  to  say,  Anglo-Saxon,  modified  by  a  century  or 
so  of  New  England  climate  and  conscience.  His 
ancestors  had  been  sailors,  perhaps,  and  years  of 
exposure  had  tanned  their  skins  and  left  their 
eyes  as  blue  as  ever.  His  movements  had  the  gen- 

5  ' 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

tleness  characteristic  of  men  who  are  much  with 
horses,  and  though  he  was  active  and  rather 
lightly  built,  he  never  was  sudden  or  jerky  in  any 
gesture.  Something  of  this  same  quietness  might 
be  detected  in  his  mental  attitude.  People  some 
times  thought  him  hesitating  or  undecided  on  ques 
tions  about  which  his  mind  was  irrevocably  made 
up.  He  took  a  certain  friendly  interest  in  life  as 
a  whole,  and  would  listen  with  such  patience  to  an 
expression  of  opinion  that  the  expresser  of  it  was 
often  surprised  to  find  the  opinion  had  had  no 
weight  with  him,  whatsoever. 

He  stood  now,  listening  with  the  politest  atten 
tion  to  Reed's  somewhat  flowery  description  of  the 
charms  of  the  Revelly  house  —  charms  which 
Crane  himself  had  examined  in  the  minutest  detail. 

"  Never  before,"  exclaimed  the  real  estate 
agent,  in  a  magnificent  peroration,  "  never  before 
has  the  splendid  mansion  been  rented — " 

"  Ah,"  said  Crane  with  a  smile,  "  I  believe  you 
there." 

"  Never  been  offered  for  rent,"  corrected  the 
real  estate  agent,  with  a  cough.  "  Its  delightful 
colonial  flavor — " 

6 


COME  OUT  O'F  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Its  confounded  dilapidation,"  said  the  pros 
pective  tenant. 

"  Its  boxwood  garden,  its  splendid  lawns,  its 
stables,  accommodating  twenty-five  horses  — " 

"  Yes,  if  they  don't  lean  up  against  the  sides." 

Reed  frowned. 

"  If,"  he  remarked  with  a  touch  of  pride,  "  you 
do  not  want  the  house  — " 

The  young  man  of  the  motor  car  laughed  good- 
temperedly. 

"  I  thought  we  had  settled  all  that  last  week," 
he  said.  "  I  do  want  the  house;  I  do  appreciate 
its  beauties;  I  do  not  consider  it  in  good  repair, 
and  I  continue  to  think  that  the  price  for  six  weeks 
is  very  high.  Have  the  owners  come  down?  " 

Reed  frowned  again. 

"  I  thought  I  made  it  clear,  on  my  part,"  he 
answered,  "  that  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Revelly  are  be 
yond  the  reach  of  communication.  They  are  on 
their  way  to  Madeira.  Before  they  left  they  set 
the  price  on  their  house,  and  I  can  only  follow 
their  instructions.  Their  children  —  there  are 
four  children — " 

"  Good  heavens,  I  don't  have  to  rent  them  with 
7 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  I 

the  house,  do  I  ?  "  exclaimed  the  other  frivolously. 

The  real  estate  agent  colored,  probably  from 
annoyance. 

"  No,  Mr.  Crane,"  he  answered  proudly,  "  you 
do  not,  as  far  as  I  know,  have  to  do  anything  you 
do  not  wish  to  do.  What  I  was  about  to  say  was 
that  the  children  have  no  authority  to  alter  the 
price  determined  by  their  parents.  To  my  mind, 
however,  it  is  not  a  question  of  absolute  value. 
There  is  no  doubt  that  you  can  find  newer  and 
more  conveniently  appointed  houses  in  the  hunt 
ing  district  —  certainly  cheaper  ones,  if  price  be 
such  an  object.  But  the  Revelly  family  —  one  of 
the  most  aristocratic  families  south  of  Mason  and 
Dixon's,  sir  —  would  not  be  induced  to  consider 
renting  under  the  sum  originally  named." 

"  It 's  pretty  steep,"  said  the  young  man,  but  his 
mild  tone  already  betrayed  him.  "  And  how 
about  servants?  " 

"  Ah,"  said  Reed,  looking  particularly  mask- 
like,  "  servants !  That  has  been  the  great  diffi 
culty.  To  guarantee  domestic  service  that  will 
satisfy  your  difficult  Northern  standards  — " 

"  I  am  fussy  about  only  two  things,"  said  Crane, 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  cooking  and  boots.  Must  have  my  boots  prop 
erly  done." 

"  If  you  could  have  brought  your  own  valet  — " 

"  But  I  told  you  he  has  typhoid  fever.  Now, 
see  here,  Mr.  Reed,  there  really  is  n't  any  use 
wasting  my  time  and  yours.  If  you  have  not  been 
able  to  get  me  a  staff  of  servants  with  the  house,  I 
would  n't  dream  of  taking  it.  I  thought  we  had 
made  that  clear." 

Reed  waved  his  impatient  client  again  to  his 
chair. 

"  There  are  at  this  moment  four  well-recom 
mended  servants  yonder  in  the  back  office,  waiting 
to  be  interviewed." 

"By  me?"  exclaimed  Crane,  looking  slightly 
alarmed. 

Reed  bowed. 

"  I  wish  first,  however,"  he  went  on,  "  to  say  a 
word  or  two  about  them.  I  obtained  them  with 
the  greatest  difficulty,  from  the  Crosslett-Billing- 
tons,  of  whom  you  have  doubtless  often  heard." 

14  Never  in  my  life,"  said  Crane. 

Reed  raised  his  eyebrows. 

"  He  is  one  of  our  most  distinguished  citizens. 

9 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

His  collection  of  tapestry,  his  villa  at  Capri  — 
Ah,  well,  but  that  is  immaterial!  The  family  is 
now  abroad,  and  has  in  consequence  consented,  as  a 
personal  favor  to  me,  to  allow  you  to  take  over 
four  of  their  servants  for  the  six  weeks  you  will 
be  here,  but  not  a  minute  longer." 

Crane  leaned  back  and  blew  smoke  in  the  air. 

"  Are  they  any  good?  "  he  asked. 

"  You  must  judge  for  yourself." 

"  No,  you  must  tell  me." 

"  The  butler  is  a  competent  person;  the  skill  of 
the  cook  is  a  proverb  —  but  we  had  better  have 
them  come  in  and  speak  to  you  themselves." 

"  No,  by  Jove !  "  cried  Crane,  springing  to  his 
feet.  "  I  don't  think  I  could  stand  that."  And 
he  incontinently  rushed  from  the  office  to  the 
motor,  where  three  mummy-like  figures  on  the 
back  seat  had  remained  immovable  during  his  ab 
sence. 

Of  these,  two  were  female  and  one  male.  To 
the  elder  of  the  women,  Crane  applied,  hat  in 
hand. 

"  Won't  you  give  me  the  benefit  of  your  advice, 
Mrs.  Falkener,"  he  said.  "  The  agent  has  some 

10 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  I 

servants  for  me.  The  wages  and  everything  like 
that  have  all  been  arranged,  but  would  you  mind 
just  looking  them  over  for  me  and  telling  me  what 
you  think  about  them?  " 

To  invite  Mrs.  Falkener  to  give  her  advice  on 
a  detail  of  household  management  was  like  inviting 
a  duck  to  the  pond.  She  stepped  with  a  queen-like 
dignity  from  the  car.  She  was  a  commanding 
woman  who  swam  through  life,  borne  up  by  her 
belief  in  her  own  infallibility.  To  be  just,  she  was 
very  nearly  infallible  in  matters  of  comfort  and  do 
mestic  arrangement,  and  it  was  now  many  years 
since  she  had  given  attention  to  anything  else  in 
the  world.  She  was  a  thorough,  able  and  awe-in 
spiring  woman  of  fifty-three. 

Now  she  moved  into  Reed's  office,  with  motor- 
veils  and  dusters  floating  about  her,  like  a  solid 
wingless  victory,  and  sat  down  in  Randolph  Reed's 
own  chair.  (It  was  part  of  her  philosophy  never 
to  interview  a  social  inferior  until  she  herself  was 
seated.)  With  a  slight  gesture  of  her  gloved 
hand,  she  indicated  that  the  servants  might  be  ad 
mitted  to  her  presence. 

The  door  to  the  back  office  opened  and  the  four 
ii 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

candidates  entered.  The  first  was  the  butler,  a 
man  slightly  younger  in  years  than  most  of  those 
careworn  functionaries.  He  came  forward  with  a 
quick,  rapid  step,  turning  his  feet  out  and  walking 
on  his  toes.  Only  Mrs.  Falkener  recognized  that 
it  was  the  walk  of  a  perfect  butler.  She  would 
have  engaged  him  on  the  spot,  but  when  she  noted 
that  his  hair  was  parted  from  forehead  back  to  the 
line  of  his  collar  and  brushed  slightly  forward  in 
front  of  his  ears,  she  experienced  a  feeling  of  envy 
and  for  the  first  time  thought  with  dissatisfaction 
of  the  paragon  she  had  left  in  charge  of  her  own 
pantry  at  home. 

She  did  indeed  ask  him  a  question  or  two,  just 
to  assure  herself  of  his  English  intonation,  which, 
it  must  be  owned,  a  residence  in  the  South  had 
slightly  influenced.  And  then  with  a  start  she 
passed  on  to  the  next  figure  —  the  cook. 

On  her  the  eyes  of  her  future  employer  had  al 
ready  been  fixed  since  the  door  first  opened,  and 
it  would  be  hardly  possible  to  exaggerate  the  ef 
fect  produced  by  her  appearance.  She  might  have 
stepped  from  a  Mid- Victorian  Keepsake,  or  Book 
of  Beauty.  She  should  have  worn  eternally  a  crin- 

12 


. 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

oline  and  a  wreath  of  flowers;  her  soft  gray-blue 
eyes,  hjsr  little  bowed  mouth,  her  slim  throat, 
should  have  been  the  subject  of  a  perpetual  steel 
engraving.  She  was  small,  and  light  of  bone,  and 
her  hands,  crossed  upon  her  check  apron  (for  she 
was  in  her  working  dress),  were  so  little  and  soft 
that  they  seemed  hardly  capable  of  lifting  a  pot  or 
kettle. 

Mrs.  Falkener  expressed  the  general  sentiment 
exactly  when  she  gasped : 

"  And  you  are  the  cook?  " 

The  cook,  whose  eyes  had  been  decorously  fixed 
upon  the  floor,  now  raised  them,  and  sweeping  one 
rapid  glance  across  both  her  employer  and  the 
speaker,  whispered  discreetly: 

"  Yes,  ma'am." 

'  What  is  your  name?  " 

And  at  this  question  a  curious  thing  happened. 
The  butler  and  Reed  answered  simultaneously. 
Only,  the  butler  said  "  Jane,"  and  Reed,  with  equal 
conviction,  said  "  Ellen." 

Ignoring  this  seeming  contradiction,  the  cook 
fixed  her  dove-like  glance  on  Mrs.  Falkener  and 
answered: 

13 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

41  My  name  is  Jane-Ellen,  ma'am." 

It  was  impossible  for  even  as  conscientious  a 
housekeeper  as  Mrs.  Falkener  to  be  really  severe 
with  so  gentle  a  creature,  but  she  contrived  to  say, 
with  a  certain  sternness : 

"  I  should  like  to  see  your  references,  Jane- 
Ellen." 

"  Oh,  I  'm  sure  that  will  be  all  right,  Mrs.  Falk 
ener,"  said  Crane  hastily.  He  had  never  removed 
his  eyes  from  the  face  of  his  future  cook. 

But  Jane-Ellen,  with  soft  gestures  of  those 
ridiculous  hands,  was  already  unfolding  a  paper, 
and  now  handed  it  to  Mrs.  Falkener. 

That  lady  took  it  and  held  it  off  at  arm's  length 
while  she  read  it. 

"  And  who,"  she  asked,  turning  to  Reed,  "  is 
this  Claudia  Revelly  ?  Mrs.  Revelly,  I  suppose  ?  " 

"  Why,  no,"  answered  Reed.  "  No,  as  I  told 
you,  Mrs.  Revelly  is  in  Madeira  with  her  husband. 
This  is  one  of  the  Miss  Revellys." 

"  Humph,"  replied  Mrs.  Falkener.  "  It  is  a 
flattering  reference,  but  in  my  time  the  word  '  rec 
ommend  '  was  spelled  with  only  one  '  c.'  ' 

The  cook  colored  slightly  and  flashed  a  glance 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

that  might  have  been  interpreted  as  reproachful 
at  Reed,  who  said  hastily: 

"  Ah,  yes,  quite  so.  You  know  —  the  fact  is  — 
our  Southern  aristocracy  —  the  Revellys  are 
among  our  very —  However,  there  can  be  no 
question  whatever  about  Jane-Ellen's  ability.  You 
will,  I  can  assure  you  from  personal  experience,  be 
satisfied  with  her  cooking.  Mrs.  Crosslett-Bill- 
ington  — " 

"  Humph !  "  said  Mrs.  Falkener  again,  as  one 
who  does  not  mean  to  commit  herself.  "  We  shall 
see.  Let  the  housemaid  come  a  little  forward." 

At  this  a  young  woman  advanced;  she  bore  a 
certain  resemblance  of  feature  to  the  butler,  but 
entirely  lacked  his  competent  alertness. 

"  This  young  woman  looks  to  me  sullen,"  Mrs. 
Falkener  observed  to  Crane,  hardly  modulating 
her  clear,  dry  tone  of  voice. 

Crane  betrayed  his  embarrassment.  He  wished 
now  that  he  had  not  invited  his  elderly  friend's 
cooperation. 

"  Oh,"  he  said,  "  I  'm  sure  it  will  be  all  right. 
It  must  be  a  trifle  annoying  to  be  looked  over  like 
this." 

15 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

"  The  best  way  to  settle  this  sort  of  thing  is  at 
the  start,"  replied  Mrs.  Falkener,  and  turning  to 
the  housemaid,  she  asked  her  her  name. 

"  Lily,"  replied  the  young  woman,  in  a  deep 
voice  of  annoyance. 

"  Lily,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener,  as  if  this  were  a 
most  unsuitable  name  for  a  housemaid,  and  she 
looked  up  at  Crane  to  confirm  her  opinion,  but  he 
was  again  looking  at  the  cook  and  did  not  notice 
her. 

"  Well,  Lily,"  continued  the  elder  lady,  as  if  she 
made  a  distinct  concession  in  making  use  of  such 
a  name  at  all  in  addressing  a  servant,  "  do  you  or 
do  you  not  want  to  take  this  place?  There  is, 
I  suppose,  nothing  to  compel  you  to  take  it  if 
you  do  not  want.  But  now  is  the  time  to  say 
so." 

Lily,  with  a  manner  that  did  seem  a  little  un 
gracious,  replied  that  she  did  want  it,  and  added, 
on  receiving  a  quick  glance  from  the  butler,  Smith- 
field,  "  Madame." 

"  Well,  then,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener,  becom 
ing  more  condescending,  "  we  shall  expect  a  more 
pleasant  demeanor  from  you,  a  spirit  of  coopera- 

16 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

tion.  Nothing  is  more  trying  for  yourself  or  your 
fellow  servants  — " 

Reed  moved  forward  and  whispered  in  Mrs. 
Falkener's  ear: 

"  It  will  straighten  out  of  itself,  my  dear 
madame  —  nothing  but  a  little  embarrassment  — 
a  grande  dame  like  yourself,  you  understand  me, 
a  tremendous  impression  on  a  young  woman  of 
this  sort  — " 

Mrs.  Falkener  interrupted  him. 

:<  What  is  the  name  of  the  boy  in  the  corner?  " 
she  asked. 

At  this,  a  round-faced  lad  of  perhaps  eighteen 
sprang  forward.  The  most  striking  items  of  his 
costume  were  a  red  neckerchief  and  a  green  baize 
apron  and  leggings,  giving  to  his  appearance  a 
slight  flavor  of  a  horse-boy  in  an  illustration  to 
Dickens. 

"  I,  ma'am,"  he  said,  with  a  strong  cockney  ac 
cent,  "  am  the  Useful  Boy,  as  they  say  in  the 
States." 

"  He  's  very  good  at  doing  boots,"  said  Reed. 

"  Boots,"  cried  the.  boy,  and  kissing  his  hand 
he  waved  it  in  the  air  with  a  gesture  we  have  been 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  I 

accustomed  to  think  of  as  continental  rather  than 
British,  "  a  boot,  particularly  a  riding-boot,  is  to 
me—" 

"What  is  your  name?"  Mrs.  Falkener  asked, 
and  this  time  the  severity  of  her  manner  was  un 
mistakable. 

It  did  not,  however,  dampen  the  enthusiasm  of 
the  last  candidate. 

"  My  name,  ma'am,"  he  replied,  "  is  B-r-i-n- 
d-1-e-b-u-r-y." 

"Brindlebury?" 

"  Pronounced,  '  Brinber  ' —  the  old  Sussex 
name  with  which,  ma'am,  I  have  no  doubt  you,  as 
a  student  of  history — " 

Mrs.  Falkener  turned  to  Crane. 

"  I  think  you  will  have  trouble  with  that  boy," 
she  said.  "  He  is  inclined  to  be  impertinent." 

Crane  looked  at  the  boy  over  her  head,  and 
the  boy,  out  of  a  pair  of  twinkling  gray  eyes, 
looked  back.  They  both  managed  to  look  away 
again  before  a  smile  had  been  actually  exchanged, 
but  Crane  found  himself  making  use  for  the  third 
time  of  his  favorite  formula : 

"  Oh,  I  think  I  '11  find  him  all  right." 
18 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

Mrs.  Falkener,  remembering  the  pitiable  weak 
ness  of  men,  again  waved  her  hand. 

"  They  may  go  now,"  she  said  to  Reed,  who 
hastily  shepherded  the  four  back  again  into  the 
back  office.  When  they  were  alone,  she  turned 
to  Crane  and  said  with  the  utmost  conviction: 

"  My  dear  Burton,  none  of  those  servants  will 
do  —  except  the  butler,  who  appears  to  be  a 
thoroughly  competent  person.  But  those  young 
women  —  they  may  have  been  anything.  Did  you 
not  observe  that  their  nails  had  been  manicured?  " 

Crane  stammered  slightly,  for  the  fact  had  not 
escaped  him,  in  connection,  at  least,  with  one  of 
the  young  women. 

"  Don't  —  don't  cooks  ever  manicure  their 
nails?  "  he  said.  "  It  seems  rather  a  good  idea  to 


me." 


Reed,  who  was  once  more  approaching,  caught 
these  last  words. 

"  Ah,"  he  said,  "  you  were  speaking  of  the  mani 
curing  of  servants'  nails  — " 

Mrs.  Falkener  gave  him  a  severe  look. 

"  I  was  advising  Mr.  Crane  not  to  engage  any 
one  but  the  butler." 

19 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

"  Indeed,  how  very  interesting,"  said  Reed. 
'  Your  judgment  in  the  matter  is  very  valuable, 
madame,  I  know,  but  perhaps  you  do  not  suf 
ficiently  emphasize  the  difficulties  of  getting  any 
servants  at  all  in  this  part  of  the  country.  In  fact, 
I  could  not  undertake,  if  these  are  not  en 
gaged—" 

"Well,  I  could,"  said  the  lady.  "I  could 
telegraph  to  New  York  to  my  own  intelligence 
office  and  have  three  really  competent  people  here 
by  to-morrow  evening." 

For  a  moment  Reed  looked  profoundly  dis 
tressed,  and  then  he  went  on: 

"  Exactly,  I  have  no  doubt,  madame.  But 
what  I  was  about  to  say  was  that  I  could  not  un 
dertake  to  rent  the  Revelly  house  to  a  staff  of  un 
known  Northern  servants.  You  see,  these  two 
young  women  have  been  practically  brought  up  in 
the  household  of  Mrs.  Crosslett-Billington  —  an 
old  family  friend  of  the  Revellys  —  and  they 
know  they  would  take  care  of  things  in  the  way 
they  are  accustomed  to  — " 

"  Of  course,  of  course,  very  natural,"  said 
Crane.  "  I  quite  agree.  I  'm  willing  to  give 

20 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

these  people  a  chance.  Of  course,  Mrs.  Falk- 
ener,  I  don't  know  as  much  about  these  things  as 
you  do,  but  it 's  only  for  a  few  weeks,  and  as  for 
their  nails  — " 

"Oh,  I  can  explain  that,"  cried  Reed;  "in 
fact,  I  should  have  done  so  at  the  start.  It 's  an 
idiosyncrasy  of  Mr.  Billington's.  He  insists  that 
all  the  servants  in  the  house  should  be  manicured, 
particularly  those  who  wait  on  table,  or  have  any 
thing  to  do  with  touching  the  food." 

Mrs.  Falkener  compressed  her  lips  till  they  were 
nothing  but  a  seam  in  her  face. 

"Humph!"  she  said  again,  and  without  an 
other  word  she  turned  and  swept  out  of  the  of 
fice. 

Left  alone,  the  two  men  stood  silent,  without 
even  looking  at  each  other,  and  finally  it  was  Crane 
who  observed  mildly: 

"  Well,  you  know,  they  are  a  little  queer  in  some 
ways  — " 

'  Take  my  word  for  it,"  said  Reed,  earnestly, 
"  you  will  make  no  mistake  in  engaging  them  all 
—  except  that  boy,  but  you  can  manage  him,  I 
have  no  doubt.  As  for  the  cook,  you  will  be  sur- 

21 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  1 

prised.  Her  cooking  is  famous  in  three  counties, 
I  assure  you." 

An  instant  later,  the  lease  was  duly  signed. 

When  the  motor  was  safely  on  its  way  back  to 
Washington,  Mrs.  Falkener  gave  her  companions 
on  the  back  seat  the  benefit  of  her  own  impres 
sion.  One  was  her  daughter,  a  muscular,  dark- 
eyed  girl,  who  imagined  that  she  had  thoroughly 
emancipated  herself  from  her  mother's  dominance 
because  she  had  established  a  different  field  of  in 
terest.  She  loved  out-of-door  sport  of  all  kinds, 
particularly  hunting,  and  was  as  keen  and  compe 
tent  about  them  as  her  mother  was  about  house 
hold  management.  The  two  respected  each 
other's  abilities,  and  managed  to  lead  an  affec 
tionate  life  in  common. 

The  man  on  the  back  seat  was  Solon  Tucker  — 
Crane's  lawyer,  by  inheritance  rather  than  by 
choice.  He  was  a  thin,  erect  man,  with  a  narrow 
head  and  that  expression  of  mouth  at  once  hard 
and  subtle  that  the  Law  writes  on  so  many  men's 
faces.  His  mind  was  excellently  clear,  his  man 
ner  reserved,  and  his  invariable  presupposition 
that  all  human  beings  except  himself  were  likely 

22 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

to  make  fools  of  themselves.  He  had,  however, 
immense  respect  for  Mrs.  Falkener's  opinions  on 
any  subject  except  law  —  on  which  he  respected 
nobody's  opinions  but  his  own,  least  of  all  those 
of  judges;  and  he  believed  that  nothing  would  so 
effectively  lighten  his  own  responsibilities  in  re 
gard  to  Crane  as  to  marry  him  to  Mrs.  Falkener's 
daughter,  an  idea  in  which  Mrs.  Falkener  cor 
dially  agreed. 

"  You  must  make  a  point  of  staying  with  him, 
Solon,"  she  was  now  murmuring  into  that  gentle 
man's  rather  large  ear,  "  if,  as  I  fear,  he  actually 
takes  this  house.  You  have  never  seen  such  an  ex 
traordinary  group  of  servants  —  except  the  but 
ler.  Do  you  suppose  it  could  be  a  plot,  a  black 
mailing  scheme  of  some  sort?  The  cook  — 
Well,  my  dear  Solon,  a  pocket  Venus,  a  stage  in 
genue,  with  manicured  nails !  He  was  determined 
to  engage  her  from  the  first.  It  seems  very  un 
safe  to  me.  A  bachelor  of  Burton's  means.  You 
must  stay  by  him,  Solon.  In  fact,"  she  added,  "  I 
think  we  had  better  both  stay  by  him.  Poor 
boy,  he  has  no  idea  of  taking  care  of  himself." 

"  He  can  be  very  obstinate,"  said  his  lawyer. 

23 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  1 

"  But  I  fancy  you  exaggerate  the  dangers.  You 
are  unaccustomed  to  any  but  the  very  highest  type 
of  English  servant.  They  are  probably  nothing 
worse  than  incompetent." 

"  Wait  till  you  see  the  cook!  "  answered  Mrs. 
Falkener  portentously. 

Tucker  looked  away  over  the  darkening  land 
scape. 

"  Dear  me,"  he  thought  to  himself.  "  What  a 
mountain  she  makes  of  a  mole-hill!  How  every 
one  exaggerates  —  except  trained  minds !  " 

In  Tucker's  opinion  all  trained  minds  were 
legal. 


II 

ON  the  following  Monday,  late  in  the  after 
noon,  the  old  Revelly  house  was  awaiting 
its  new  master.  Already  hunters,  ponies,  two- 
wheeled  carts,  an  extra  motor,  to  say  nothing 
of  grooms,  stable-boys,  and  a  tremendous  head 
coachman,  had  arrived  and  were  making  the  stable 
yards  resound  as  they  had  not  done  for  seventy 
years.  But  they  had  nothing  to  do  with  the  house 
hold  staff.  They  were  all  to  be  boarded  by  the 
coachman's  wife  who  was  installed  in  the  gar 
dener's  cottage. 

The  house,  with  its  tall  pillared  portico  and  flat 
roofed  wings,  lost  its  shabby  air  as  the  afternoon 
light  grew  dimmer,  and  by  six  o'clock,  when 
Crane's  motor  drew  up  before  the  door,  it  pre 
sented  nothing  but  a  dignified  and  spacious  mass 
to  his  admiring  eyes. 

No  one  but  Tucker  was  with  him.  He  had 
had  some  difficulty  in  avoiding  the  pressing  desire 

25 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

of  the  two  Falkener  ladies  to  be  with  him  at  the 
start  and  help  him,  as  they  put  it,  "  get  everything 
in  order."  He  had  displayed,  however,  a  firm 
ness  that  they  had  not  expected.  He  had  been 
more  embarrassed  than  he  cared  to  remember  by 
Mrs.  Falkener's  assistance  in  the  real  estate  office, 
and  he  decided  to  begin  his  new  housekeeping 
without  her  advice.  He  would,  indeed,  have  dis 
pensed  with  the  companionship  even  of  Tucker 
for  a  day  or  two,  but  that  would  have  been  impos 
sible  without  a  direct  refusal,  and  Burton  was  un 
willing  to  hurt  the  feelings  of  so  true  and  loyal  a 
friend,  not  only  of  his  own  but  of  his  father  before 
him. 

The  dignified  butler  and  the  irrepressible  boy, 
Brindlebury,  ran  down  the  steps  to  meet  them, 
and  certainly  they  had  no  reason  to  complain  of 
their  treatment;  bags  were  carried  up  and  un 
strapped,  baths  drawn,  clothes  laid  out  with  the 
most  praiseworthy  promptness. 

Tucker  had  advocated  a  preliminary  tour  of  in 
spection. 

"  It  is  most  important,"  he  murmured  to  Crane, 
"  to  give  these  people  the  idea  from  the  start  that 

26 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  1 

you  cannot  be  deceived  or  imposed  upon."  But 
Crane  refused  even  to  consider  such  questions  un 
til  he  had  had  a  bath  and  dinner. 

The  plan  of  the  old  house  was  very  simple. 
On  the  right  of  the  front  door  was  the  drawing- 
room,  on  the  left  a  small  library  and  a  room  which 
had  evidently  been  used  as  an  office.  The  stairs 
went  up  in  the  center,  shallow  and  broad,  winding 
about  a  square  well.  The  dining-room  ran  across 
the  back  of  the  house. 

When  Tucker  came  down  dressed  for  dinner, 
he  found  Crane  was  ahead  of  him,-  He  was 
standing  in  the  drawing-room  bending  so  intently 
over  something  on  a  table  that  Tucker,  who  was 
not  entirely  without  curiosity,  came  and  bent  over 
it,  too,  and  even  the  butler,  who  had  come  to  an 
nounce  dinner,  craned  his  neck  in  that  direction. 

It  was  a  miniature,  set  in  an  old-fashioned  frame 
of  gold  and  pearls.  It  represented  a  young 
woman  in  a  mauve  tulle  ball  dress,  full  in  the  skirt 
and  cut  off  the  shoulders,  as  was  the  fashion  in  the 
days  before  the  war.  She  wore  a  wreath  of 
fuchsias,  one  of  which  trailing  down  just  touched 
her  bare  shoulder. 

27 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Well,"  said  Tucker  contemptuously,  "  you 
don't  consider  that  a  work  of  art,  do  you  ?  " 

Burton  remained  as  one  entranced. 

"  It  reminds  me  of  some  one  I  know,"  he  an 
swered. 

"  It  is  quite  obviously  a  fancy  picture,"  replied 
Tucker,  who  was  something  of  a  connoisseur. 
"  Look  at  those  upturned  eyes,  and  that  hand. 
Did  you  ever  see  a  live  woman  with  such  a  tiny 
hand?" 

"  Yes,  once,"  said  Crane,  but  his  guest  did  not 
notice  him. 

"  The  sentimentality  of  the  art  of  that  period," 
Tucker  continued,  "  which  is  so  plainly  manifested 
in  the  poetry  — " 

"  Beg  pardon,  sir,"  said  Smithfield,  "  the  soup  is 
served." 

Crane  reluctantly  tore  himself  from  the  picture 
and  sat  down  at  table,  and  such  is  the  materialism 
of  our  day  that  he  was  evidently  immediately  com 
pensated. 

"  By  Jove,"  he  said,  "  what  a  capital  pu 
ree!" 

Even  Tucker,  who,  under  Mrs.  Falkener's  tui- 
28 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

tion,  had  intended  to  find  the  food  uneatable,  was 
obliged  to  confess  its  merits. 

"  I  say,"  said  Crane  to  Smithfield,  "  tell  the 
cook,  will  you,  that  I  never  tasted  such  a  soup  — 
not  out  of  Paris,  or  even  in  it." 

"  She  probably  never  heard  of  Paris,"  put  in 
Tucker. 

Smithfield  bowed. 

"  I   will   explain   your   meaning   to    her,    sir," 

<* 

he  said. 

Dinner  continued  on  the  same  high  plane,  end 
ing  with  two  perfect  cups  of  coffee,  which  called 
forth  such  eulogies  from  Crane  that  Tucker  said 
finally,  as  they  left  the  dining-room : 

"  Upon  my  word,  Burt,  I  never  knew  you  cared 
so  much  about  eating." 

"  I  love  art,  Tuck,"  said  the  other,  slapping  his 
friend  on  the  back.  "  I  appreciate  perfection.  I 
worship  genius." 

Tucker  began  to  feel  sincerely  distressed.  In 
deed  he  lay  awake  for  hours,  worrying.  He  had 
counted,  from  Mrs.  Falkener's  description,  on 
finding  the  servants  so  incompetent  that  the  house 
would  be  impossible.  He  had  hoped  that  one 

29 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  1 

dinner  would  have  been  enough  to  send  Crane 
to  the  telegraph  office  of  his  own  accord,  sum 
moning  servants  from  the  North.  He  had  al 
most  promised  Mrs.  Falkener  that  when  she  and 
her  daughter  arrived  the  next  afternoon,  they 
would  find  a  new  staff  expected,  if  not  actually 
installed.  Instead  he  would  have  to  greet  her 
with  the  news  that  the  pocket  Venus  with  the 
polished  nails  had  turned  out  to  be  a  cordon  bleu. 
That  is,  if  she  were  really  doing  the  cooking. 
Perhaps  —  this  idea  occurred  to  Tucker  shortly 
before  dawn  —  perhaps  she  was  just  pretending  to 
cook;  perhaps  she  had  hired  some  excellent  old 
black  Mammy  to  do  the  real  work.  That  should 
be  easily  discoverable. 

He  determined  to  learn  the  truth;  and  on  this 
resolution  fell  asleep. 

The  consequence  was  that  he  came  down  to 
breakfast  rather  cross,  and  would  n't  even  answer 
Crane,  who  was  in  the  most  genial  temper,  when 
he  commented  favorably  on  the  omelette.  In 
fact,  he  let  it  appear  that  this  constant  preoccu 
pation  with  material  details  was  distasteful  to 
him. 

30 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

Crane,  as  he  rose  from  the  table,  turned  to 
Smithfield : 

"  Will  you  tell  the  cook  I  'd  like  to  see  her," 
he  said.  "  I  'm  expecting  some  ladies  to  stay,  this 
afternoon,  and  I  want  to  make  things  comfortable 
for  them.  Be  off,  Tuck,  there  's  a  good  fellow, 
if  this  sort  of  thing  bores  you." 

But  wild  horses  would  not  at  that  moment  have 
dragged  Tucker  away,  and  he  observed  that  he 
supposed  there  was  no  objection  to  his  finishing 
his  breakfast  where  he  was. 

Smithfield  coughed. 

"  I  'm  sure  I  beg  your  pardon,  sir,"  he  said, 
"  but  if  you  could  tell  me  what  it  is  you  want,  I 
would  tell  the  cook.  She  has  a  peculiar  nature, 
Jane-Ellen  has,  sir;  has  had  from  a  child;  and, 
if  you  would  forgive  the  liberty,  I  believe  it 
would  be  best  for  you  not  to  interview  her  your 
self." 

Tucker  looked  up  quickly. 

"  Why,  what  do  you  mean?  "  asked  Crane. 

"  She  is  very  timid,  sir,  very  easily  affected  by 
criticism  — " 

"  Good  heavens,  I  don't  want  to  criticize  her!  " 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

cried  Crane.  "  I  only  want  to  tell  her  how  highly 
I  think  of  her." 

"  In  my  opinion,  Burton,"  Tucker  began,  when 
an  incident  occurred  that  entirely  changed  the  situ 
ation. 

A  very  large  elderly  gray  cat  walked  into  the 
room,  with  the  step  of  one  who  has  always  been 
welcome,  and  approaching  Tucker's  chair  as  if  it 
were  a  familiar  place,  he  jumped  suddenly  upon 
his  knee  and  began  to  purr  in  his  face. 

Tucker,  under  the  most  favorable  circum 
stances,  was  not  at  his  best  in  the  early  morning. 
Later  in  the  day  he  might  have  borne  such  an  oc 
currence  with  more  calm,  but  before  ten  o'clock 
he  was  like  a  man  without  armor  against  such 
attacks.  He  sprang  to  his  feet  with  an  ex 
clamation,  and  drove  the  cat  ahead  of  him 
from  the  room,  returning  alone  an  instant 
later. 

"  It  is  outrageous,"  he  said,  when  he  returned, 
"  that  our  lives  are  to  be  rendered  miserable  by 
that  filthy  beast." 

"  Sit  down,  Tuck,"  said  Burton,  who  was  talk 
ing  about  wines  with  the  butler.  "  My  life  is  not 

32 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

rendered  in  the  least  miserable.  The  champagne, 
Smithfield,  ought  to  go  on  the  ice  — " 

Tucker,  however,  could  not  distract  his  mind  so 
quickly  from  the  thought  of  the  outrage  to  which 
he  had  just  been  subjected. 

"  I  must  really  ask  you,  Burton,"  he  said,  "  be 
fore  you  go  on  with  your  orders,  to  insist  that  that 
animal  be  drowned,  or  at  least  sent  out  of  the 
house  — " 

"  Oh,  I  beg,  sir,  that  you  won't  do  that,"  broke 
in  Smithfield.  "  The  cat  belongs  to  the  cook,  and 
I  really  could  not  say,  sir,  what  she  might  do,  if 
the  cat  were  put  out  of  the  house." 

'  We  seem  to  hear  a  vast  amount  about  what 
this  cook  likes  and  does  n't  like,"  said  Tucker, 
dribbling  a  little  more  hot  milk  into  his  half  cup 
of  coffee.  "  The  house,  I  believe,  is  not  run  en 
tirely  for  her  convenience." 

It  is  possible  that  Crane  had  already  been  ren 
dered  slightly  inimical  to  his  friend's  point  of 
view,  but  he  was  saved  the  trouble  of  answering 
him,  for  at  this  moment  the  cook  herself  entered 
the  room,  in  what  no  one  present  doubted  for  an 
instant  was  a  towering  rage.  She  was  wearing  a 

33 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

sky  blue  gingham  dress,  her  eyes  were  shining 
frightfully,  and  her  cheeks  were  very  pink. 

At  the  sight  of  her,  all  conversation  died  away. 

The  butler  approaching  her,  attempted  to  draw 
her  aside,  murmuring  something  to  which  she  paid 
no  attention. 

"  No,"  she  said  aloud,  pulling  her  arm  away 
from  his  restraining  hand,  "  I  will  not  go  away 
and  leave  it  to  you.  I  will  not  stay  in  any  house 
where  dumb  animals  are  ill-treated,  least  of  all, 
my  own  dear  cat." 

It  is,  as  most  of  us  know  to  our  cost,  easier  to 
be  pompous  than  dignified  when  one  feels  oneself 
in  the  wrong. 

"  Pooh,"  said  Tucker,  "  your  cat  was  not  ill- 
treated.  She  had  no  business  in  the  dining- 
room." 

"  He  was  kicked,"  said  the  cook. 

"Come,  my  girl,"  returned  Tucker,  "this  is 
not  the  way  to  speak  to  your  employer." 

And  at  this,  with  one  of  those  complete  changes 
of  manner  so  disconcerting  in  the  weaker  sex,  the 
cook  turned  to  Crane,  and  said,  with  the  most 
melting  gentleness: 

34 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  I  'm  sure  it  was  not  you,  sir.  I  am  sure 
you  would  not  do  such  a  thing.  You  will 
excuse  me  if  I  was  disrespectful,  but  perhaps 
you  know,  if  you  have  ever  loved  an  animal, 
how  you  feel  to  see  it  brutally  kicked  down 
stairs." 

"  Preposterous,"  said  Tucker,  carefully  indicat 
ing  that  he  was  addressing  Crane  alone.  "  This 
is  all  preposterous.  Tell  the  woman  to  keep  her 
cat  where  it  belongs,  and  we  '11  have  no  more  trou 
ble." 

"  It  has  n't  troubled  me,  Tuck,"  answered 
Crane  cheerfully.  "  But  I  am  curious  to  know 
whether  or  not  you  did  kick  him." 

"  The  question  seems  to  be,  do  you  allow  your 
servants  to  be  insolent  or  not?" 

Crane  turned  to  the  cook. 

"  Mr.  Tucker  seems  unwilling  to  commit  him 
self  on  the  subject  of  the  kick,"  he  observed. 
"  Have  you  any  reason  for  supposing  your  cat  was 
kicked?" 

"  Yes,"  said  Jane-Ellen.  "  The  noise,  the 
scuffle,  the  bad  language,  and  the  way  Willoughby 
ran  into  the  kitchen  with  his  tail  as  big  as  a  fox's. 

35 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

He  is  not  a  cat  to  make  a  fuss  about  nothing,  I 
can  tell  you." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,"  said  Crane,  who  was  now 
evidently  enjoying  himself,  "  but  what  did  you 
say  the  cat's  name  is?  " 

"  Willoughby." 

Burton  threw  himself  back  in  his  chair. 

"  Willoughby !  "  he  exclaimed,  "  how  perfectly 
delightful.  Now,  you  must  own,  Tuck,  preju 
diced  as  you  are,  that  that 's  the  best  cat  name 
you  ever  heard  in  your  life." 

But  Tucker  would  not  or  could  not  respond  to 
this  overture,  and  so  Crane  looked  back  at  Jane- 
Ellen,  who  looked  at  him  and  said: 

"  Oh,  do  you  like  that  name  ?  I  'm  so  glad, 
sir."  And  at  this  they  smiled  at  each  other. 

"  Don't  you  think  you  had  better  go  back  to 
the  kitchen,  Jane-Ellen?"  said  the  butler  sternly. 

In  the  meantime,  Tucker  had  lighted  a  cigar 
and  had  slightly  recovered  his  equanimity. 

"  As  a  matter  of  fact,"  he  now  said,  in  a  deep, 
growling  voice,  "  I  did  not  kick  the  creature  at  all 
—  though,  if  I  had,  I  should  have  considered  my 
self  fully  justified.  I  merely  assisted  its  prog- 

36 


Jane-Ellen  sprang  forward  and  snatched  the  cat  from  Tucker's  knee 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

ress  down  the  kitchen  stairs  with  a  sort  of  push 
with  my  foot." 

"  It  was  a  kick  to  Willoughby,"  said  the  cook, 
in  spite  of  a  quick  effort  on  Smithfield's  part  to 
keep  her  quiet. 

"  O  Tuck!  "  cried  Crane,  "  it  takes  a  lawyer, 
does  n't  it,  to  distinguish  between  a  kick  and  an 
assisting  push  with  the  foot.  Well,  Jane-Ellen," 
he  went  on,  turning  to  her,  "  I  think  it 's  not  too 
much  to  ask  that  Willoughby  be  kept  in  the  kitchen 
hereafter." 

"  I  'm  sure  he  has  no  wish  to  go  where  he  's 
not  wanted,"  she  replied  proudly,  and  at  this  in 
stant  Willoughby  entered  exactly  as  before.  All 
four  watched  him  in  a  sort  of  hypnotic  inactivity. 
As  before,  he  walked  with  a  slow,  firm  step  to  the 
chair  in  which  Tucker  sat,  and,  as  before,  jumped 
upon  his  knee.  But  this  time  Tucker  did  not 
move.  He  only  looked  at  Willoughby  and 
sneered. 

Jane-Ellen,  with  the  gesture  of  a  mother  res 
cuing  an  innocent  babe  from  massacre,  sprang  for 
ward  and  snatched  the  cat  up  in  her  arms.  Then 
she  turned  on  her  heel  and  left  the  room.  As  she 

39 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

did  so,  the  face  of  Willoughby  over  her  shoulder 
distinctly  grinned  at  the  discomfited  Tucker. 

Not  unnaturally,  Tucker  took  what  he  could 
from  the  situation. 

"  If  I  were  you,  Butt,"  he  said,  "  I  should  get 
rid  of  that  young  woman.  She  is  not  a  suitable 
cook  for  a  bachelor's  establishment.  She  's  too 
pretty  and  she  knows  it." 

"  Well,  she  would  n't  haVe  sense  enough  to 
cook  so  well,  if  she  did  n't  know  it." 

"  It  seems  to  me  she  trades  on  her  looks 
when  she  comes  up  here  and  makes  a  scene  like 
this." 

"  Beg  pardon,  sir,"  said  Smithfield,  with  a 
slightly  heightened  color,  "  Jane-Ellen  is  a  very 
good,  respectable  girl." 

"  Certainly,  she  is,"  said  Crane,  rising. 
"  Nothing  could  be  more  obvious.  Just  run 
down,  Smithfield,  and  ask  her  to  send  up  a  menu 
for  to-night's  dinner."  Then,  as  the  man  left 
the  room,  he  added  to  his  friend : 

"  Sorry,  Tuck,  if  I  seem  lacking  in  respect  for 
you  and  your  wishes,  but  I  really  could  n't  dismiss 
such  a  good  cook  because  you  think  her  a  little  bit 

40 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

too  good-looking.  She  is  a  lovely  little  creature, 
is  n't  she?" 

"  She  does  n't  know  her  place." 

Crane  walked  to  the  window  and  stood  looking 
out  for  a  minute,  and  then  he  said  thoughtfully: 

"If  ever  I  have  a  cat  I  shall  name  it  Wil- 
loughby." 

"  Have  a  cat!  "  cried  Tucker.  "  I  thought  you 
detested  the  animals  as  much  as  I  do." 

"  I  felt  rather  attracted  toward  this  one,"  said 
Crane. 


Ill 

HIS  household  cares  disposed  of,  Crane  went 
off  to  the  stables.  It  was  a  soft  hazy  au 
tumn  morning,  and  though  he  walked  along  whis 
tling  his  heart  was  heavy.  These  changes  in  back 
ground  always  depressed  him.  His  mother  had 
been  dead  about  two  years,  and  at  times  like  this 
he  particularly  missed  her.  She  had  always  con 
trived  to  make  domestic  difficulties  not  only  un 
important,  but  amusing:  She  had  been  pretty 
and  young,  both  in  years  and  spirit,  and  had  had 
the  determining  influence  on  her  son  since  his 
childhood. 

His  parents  had  married  early  and  impru 
dently.  The  elder  Crane,  stung  by  some  ill-con 
sidered  words  of  his  wife's  family,  had  resolved 
from  the  first  to  make  a  successful  career  for  him 
self.  Shrewd,  hard  and  determined,  he  had  not 
missed  his  mark.  Burton's  earliest  recollections 
of  him  were  fleeting  glimpses  of  a  white,  tired, 

42 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

silent  man  seldom,  it  seemed  to  him,  at  home,  and, 
by  his  gracious  absences,  giving  him,  Burton,  a 
sort  of  prior  claim  on  all  the  time  and  all  the  at 
tention  of  his  mother. 

As  he  grew  older  and  his  father's  fortune  ac 
tually  materialized,  he  began  to  see  that  it  had 
never  given  pleasure  to  his  mother,  that  it  had 
first  taken  her  husband's  time  and  strength  away, 
and  had  then  changed  the  very  stuff  out  of 
which  the  man  was  made.  He  had  grown  to  love 
not  only  the  game,  but  the  rewards  of  the  game. 
And  Burton  knew  now  that  very  early  his  mother 
had  begun  deliberately  to  teach  him  the  supreme 
importance  of  human  relationships,  that  she  had 
somehow  inculcated  in  him  a  contempt  not,  per 
haps,  for  money,  but  for  those  who  valued  money. 
Under  her  tuition  he  had  absorbed  a  point  of  view 
not  very  usual  among  either  rich  or  poor,  namely 
that  money  like  good  health  was  excellent  to  have, 
chiefly  because  when  you  had  it  you  did  not  have 
to  think  about  it. 

Both  her  lessons  were  valuable  to  a  young  man 
left  at  twenty-five  with  a  large  fortune.  But  the 
second  —  the  high  delight  in  companionship  — 

43 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

she  had  taught  him  through  her  own  delightful 
personality,  and  her  death  left  him  desperately 
lonely.  His  loneliness  made  him,  as  one  of  his 
friends  had  said,  extremely  open  to  the  dangers 
of  matrimony,  while  on  the  other  hand  he  had 
been  rendered  highly  fastidious  by  his  years  of 
happy  intimacy  with  his  mother.  Her  wit  and 
good  temper  he  might  have  found  in  another 
woman  —  even  possibly  her  concentrated  interest 
in  himself  —  but  her  fortunate  sense  of  propor 
tion,  her  knowledge  in  every-day  life,  as  to  what 
was  trivial  and  what  was  essential,  he  found 
strangely  lacking  in  all  his  other  friends. 

He  thought  now  how  amusing  she  would  have 
been  about  the  manicured  maid  servants,  and  how, 
if  he  and  she  had  been  breakfasting  together, 
they  would  have  amused  themselves  by  inventing 
fantastic  explanations,  instead  of  quarreling  and 
sulking  at  each  other  as  he  and  Tucker  had  done. 

Tucker  had  been  his  father's  lawyer.  It  had 
been  one  of  the  many  contradictions  in  Mrs. 
Crane's  character  that,  though  she  ha.d  always  in 
sisted  that  as  a  matter  of  loyalty  to  her  husband 
Tucker  should  be  retained  as  family  adviser,  she 

44 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

had  never  been  able  to  .conceal  from  Burton,  even 
when  he  was  still  a  boy,  that  she  considered  the 
lawyer  an  intensely  comic  character. 

She  used  to  contrive  to  throw  a  world  of  sig 
nificance  into  her  pronunciation  of  his  name, 
11  Solon."  Crane  could  still  hear  her  saying  it, 
as  if  she  were  indeed  addressing  the  original  law 
giver;  and  it  was  largely  because  this  recollec 
tion  was  too  vivid  that  he  himself  had  taken  to 
calling  his  counselor  by  his  last  name. 

He  sighed  as  he  thought  of  all  this ;  but  he  was  a 
young  man,  the  day  was  fine  and  his  horses  an 
absorbing  interest,  and  so  he  spent  a  very  happy 
morning,  passing  his  hand  along  doubtful  fetlocks 
and  withers,  and  consulting  with  his  head  man  on 
all  the  infinity  of  detail  which  constitutes  the  chief 
joy  of  so  many  sports. 

At  lunch,  he  appeared  to  be  interested  in  noth 
ing  but  the  selection  of  the  best  mount  for  Miss 
Falkener  —  a  state  of  mind  which  Tucker  con 
sidered  a  great  deal  more  suitable  than  his  former 
frivolous  interest  in  cats.  And  soon  after  lunch 
was  over  he  went  off  for  a  ride,  so  as  to  get  it  in 
before  he  had  to  go  and  meet  his  new  guests. 

45 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

A  back  piazza  ran  past  the  dining-room  win 
dows.  It  was  shady  and  contained  a  long  wicker- 
chair.  The  November  afternoon  was  warm,  and 
here  Tucker  decided  to  rest,  possibly  to  sleep,  in 
order  to  recuperate  from  a  disturbing  night  and 
morning. 

He  contrived  to  make  himself  very  comfortable 
with  a  sofa  pillow  and  extra  overcoat.  He  slept 
indeed  so  long  that  when  he  woke  the  light  was 
beginning  to  fade.  He  lay  quiet  a  few  moments, 
thinking  that  Mrs.  Falkener  would  soon  arrive 
and  revolving  the  best  and  most  encouraging  terms 
in  which  he  could  describe  the  situation  to  her, 
when  he  became  aware  of  voices.  His  piazza 
was  immediately  above  the  kitchen  door,  and  it 
was  clear  that  some  one  had  just  entered  the 
kitchen  from  outdoors.  And  he  heard  a  voice, 
unmistakably  Jane-Ellen's,  say: 

"  Stranger,  see  how  glad  Willoughby  is  to  see 
you  again.  Just  think,  he  has  n't  laid  eyes  on  you 
for  all  of  three  days." 

Tucker  could  not  catch  the  answer  which  was 
made  in  a  deep  masculine  voice,  but  it  was  easy 
to  guess  its  import  from  the  reply  of  Jane-Ellen. 

46 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Oh,  I  'm  glad  to  see  you,  too." 

Another  murmur. 

"  How  do  you  expect  me  to  show  it?  " 

A  murmur. 

"  Don't  be  absurd,  Ranny."  And  she  added 
quite  audibly:  "If  you  really  want  proof,  I'll 
give  it  to  you.  I  was  just  thinking  I  needed  some 
one  to  help  me  freeze  the  ice-cream.  Give  it  a 
turn  or  two,  will  you,  like  a  dear?  " 

It  was  obvious  that  the  visitor  was  of  a  docile 
nature,  for  presently  the  faint  regular  squeak  of 
an  ice-cream  freezer  was  heard.  His  heart  was 
not  wholly  in  his  work,  however,  for  soon  he 
began  to  complain.  Tucker  gathered  that  the 
freezer  was  set  outside  the  kitchen  door,  and  that 
the  visitor  now  had  to  raise  his  voice  slightly  in 
order  to  be  heard  in  the  kitchen,  for  both  speakers 
were  audible. 

*  Yes,"  said  the  visitor,  "  that 's  the  way  you 
are.  You  expect  every  one  to  work  for  you." 

"  Don't  you  enjoy  working  for  me,  Ranny? 
You  Ve  always  said  it  was  the  one  thing  in  the 
world  gave  you  pleasure." 

"  Humph,"    returned    the    other    grimly,    "  I 

47 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

don't  know  that  I  am  so  eager  to  freeze  Crane's 
ice-cream." 

"  And  Mr.  Tucker's,  don't  forget  him." 

"  Who  the  deuce  is  Tucker?  " 

The  listener  above  sat  up  and  leaned  forward 
eagerly. 

"  Tucker,"  said  Jane-Ellen,  "  is  our  guest  at 
present.  He  's  my  favorite  and  Willoughby's. 
He  has  what  you  might  call  a  virile,  dominating 
personality.  Please  don't  turn  so  fast,  or  you  '11 
ruin  the  dessert." 

"  How  did  you  ever  come  in  contact  with 
Tucker,  I  should  like  to  know.  Does  he  come 
into  the  kitchen  ?  " 

"  Not  yet." 

"  How  did  you  see  him  at  all?  " 

"  Owing  to  his  kicking  Willoughby  down  the 
stairs." 

"And  you  mean  to  say  you  stood  for  that? 
Why,  my  dear  girl,  if  any  one  had  told  me  — " 

"  Cruel,  perhaps,  Ranny,  but  the  action  of  a 
strong  man." 

"  I  think  it 's  a  great  mistake,"  said  the  mas 
culine  voice  in  a  tone  of  profound  displeasure, 

48 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  for  a  girl  situated  as  you  are  to  have  anything 
to  do  with  her  employer  and  his  guests.  What 
do  you  know  about  these  fellows?  How  old  is 
this  Tucker?" 

"  Oh,  about  forty,  I  should  think." 

The  listener's  eyes  brightened  by  ten  years. 

"What  does  he  look  like?" 

"  Oh,  people  are  so  difficult  to  describe, 
Ranny." 

"  You  can  describe  them  all  right  when  you 
try." 

"  Well,".  .  .  Tucker's  excitement  became  in 
tense  .  .  ."  well,  he  looks  like  the  husband  on 
the  stage  with  a  dash  of  powder  above  the  ears, 
who  wins  the  weak  young  wife  back  again  in  the 
last  act." 

With  a  long  deep  breath,  Tucker  rose  to  his 
feet.  He  felt  like  a  different  man,  a  strong,  dan 
gerous  fellow. 

"  Dear  girl,"  said  the  masculine  voice  below 
him,  "  you  're  not  going  to  let  this  man  make  love 
to  you." 

"  Oh,  Ranny,  he  's  never  tried.  He  's  much 
too  dignified  and  reserved." 

49 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  1 

"  But  if  he  did  try,  you  would  not  let  him?  " 

"  You,  if  any  one,  ought  to  know  that  it  is  n't 
always  easy  to  prevent." 

"  I  don't  know  what  you  mean  by  that. 
You  Ve  always  prevented  me,  as  often  as  you 
wanted  to." 

"  Often,  but  not  as  often  as  that.  There, 
Ranny,  do  get  on  with  the  ice-cream.  That  ter 
rible  old  woman  is  coming  to  stay  this  evening 
with  her  daughter,  and  you  may  be  sure  she  '11 
have  us  all  turned  out  if  everything  is  n't  just 
right." 

"  Crane  is  supposed  to  be  engaged  to  the  daugh 
ter,"  said  the  male  voice. 

"  Well,  I  don't  envy  him  his  mother-in-law." 

"  What  do  you  think  of  Crane?  " 

There  was  a  pause.  At  first  Tucker  feared  he 
might  have  missed  the  answer,  but  presently  the 
question  was  repeated. 

"  I  asked  you  what  you  thought  of  Crane." 

"  Oh,  I  Ve  seen  a  good  many  young  men  of 
that  type  in  my  time,"  was  the  reply. 

"  How  strange  women  are,"  remarked  the  ice 
cream  maker,  who  had  now  once  again  settled 

50 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

down  to  work.  "  I  should  have  thought  Crane 
just  the  man  to  attract  women,  well  built,  good- 
looking,  a  splendid  horseman  — " 

"Would  you  say  good-looking?"  asked  the 
cook.  Tucker  had  been  putting  exactly  the  same 
question  to  himself. 

But  the  speaker  did  not  intend  to  answer  it, 
he  went  on  with  his  own  train  of  thought :  "  And 
here  you  go  into  raptures  over  an  old  fellow,  old 
enough  to  be  your  father — " 

"  Should  you  say  I  went  into  raptures?  " 

'  You  talk  as  if  you  were  prepared  to  make  an 
idol  of  the  man." 

A  pleasant  laugh  greeted  this  statement. 
Tucker  grew  grave.  He  did  not  feel  that  he 
thoroughly  understood  the  cause  of  that  laugh, 
but  he  took  refuge  in  that  comfortable  and 
all-embracing  theory  that  women  were  fond, 
unaccountable  creatures,  particularly  when  deeply 
moved. 

Another  explanation  was  offered  by  the  man 
below. 

"  I  believe  you  are  just  trying  to  tease  me, 
Jane-Ellen." 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"Trying,  Ranny?" 

"  You  know  very  well  you  can  always  do  what 
ever  you  like  with  me."  The  voice  deepened 
with  emotion. 

"  Oh,  dear  me,  no,  I  can't." 

"Why  not?" 

"  I  can't  keep  you  turning  steadily  at  that  crank. 
Here,  let  me  show  you  how  it  ought  to  be  done." 

Tucker  knew  that  she  had  come  out  of  the 
kitchen.  By  leaning  over  the  railing  he  could 
see  the  kitchen  door. 

He  leant  over. 

The  space  before  the  entrance  was  paved  in 
large  square  flagstones;  here  an  ice-cream  freezer 
was  standing,  and  over  it  bent  a  young  man  of  a 
somewhat  solid  build,  but  with  the  unmistakable 
manner  and  bearing  of  a  gentleman.  He  straight 
ened  himself  as  Jane-Ellen  came  out,  and  watched 
her  closely  as  she  grasped  the  handle  of  the 
freezer;  but  it  seemed  to  the  spectator  above  that 
he  watched  her  with  other  emotions  than  the  sin 
cere  wish  to  learn  the  correct  manner  of  freezing. 

Tucker  looked  straight  down  upon  her,  upon 
the  part  in  her  light  brown  hair,  upon  her  round 

52 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  1 

little  arms,  for  her  sleeves  were  rolled  up  above 
the  elbow,  as  she  said  didactically : 

"  It  ought  to  be  a  steady,  even  — " 

But  she  got  no  further,  for  her  pupil  without 
a  word,  stooped  forward  and  gathering  her  into 
his  arms,  kissed  her. 


53 


IV 

THERE  was  no  doubt  whatsoever  in  the  mind 
of  the  spectator  that  this  caress,  provoked 
or  unprovoked,  was  not  agreeable  to  its  recipient. 
The  young  man  was  large  and  heavy  and  she  was 
minute  and  probably  weak,  but  the  violence  of 
her  recoil  was  sufficient  to  free  her  within  a  sec 
ond. 

"  *  Her  strength,'  "  thought  Tucker,  "  '  was  as 
the  strength  of  ten,'  "  and  he  hoped  it  was  for  the 
reason  alleged  by  the  poet. 

She  stood  an  instant  looking  at  her  visitor,  and 
then  she  said,  in  a  tone  that  no  well-trained  dog 
would  have  attempted  to  disobey: 

"  Go  away.  Go  home,  and  please  don't  ever 
come  back." 

Tucker  was  deeply  moved.  It  is  to  be  feared 
that  he  forgot  Mrs.  Falkener,  forgot  his  plans 
for  his  friend's  protection,  forgot  everything  ex 
cept  that  he  had  just  heard  himself  described  as 

54 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

a  hero  of  romance  by  a  girl  of  superlative  charms; 
and  that  that  girl  had  just  been  the  object  of  the 
obviously  unwelcome  attentions  of  another.  He 
recognized  that  the  stern  but  sympathetic  husband 
on  the  stage  would  instantly  have  come  to  the  res 
cue  of  the  weak  young  wife  in  any  similar  situa 
tion,  and  he  determined  on  the  instant  to  do  so; 
but  he  found  a  slight  difficulty  in  making  up  his 
mind  as  to  the  particular  epigram  with  which  he 
should  enter.  In  fact,  he  could  think  of  nothing 
except,  "  Ah,  Jane-Ellen,  is  the  ice-cream  ready?  " 
And  that  obviously  would  n't  do. 

While,  however,  he  hesitated  above,  the  dia 
logue  below  rushed  on,  unimpeded. 

"  The  truth  is,"  said  the  young  man,  with  the 
violence  of  one  who  feels  himself  at  least  par 
tially  in  the  wrong,  "  the  truth  is  you  are  a  cold, 
cruel  woman  who  thinks  of  nothing  but  her  own 
amusement;  you  don't  care  anything  about  the  suf 
ferings  of  others,  and  in  my  opinion  Lily  is  worth 
ten  of  you." 

'  Then  why  don't  you  go  and  kiss  Lily?  " 

"  Because  Lily  is  n't  that  sort.  She  would  n't 
stand  it." 

55 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

This  reply  not  unnaturally  angered  the  cook. 

"  And  do  you  mean  to  say  I  stand  it?  I  can't 
help  it.  I  'm  so  horribly  small,  but  if  I  could,  I  'd 
kill  you,  Randolph,  and  as  it  is,  I  hate  you  for  do 
ing  it,  hate  you  more  than  you  have  any  idea." 

'  You  know  very  well  it 's  your  own  fault.    You 
tempted  me." 

"  How  could  I  know  about  your  silly  lack  of 
self-control?  " 

"  You  Ve  always  pretended  to  like  me." 

"  Just  what  I  did  —  pretended.  But  I  '11  never 
have  to  pretend  again,  thank  heaven.  I  don't 
really  like  you  and  I  never  did  —  not  since  we 
were  children." 

"  You  '11  be  sorry  for  saying  that,  when  you  're 
calmer." 

"  I  may  be  sorry  for  saying  it,  but  I  '11  think  it 
as  long  as  I  live." 

"  I  pity  the  man  who  marries  you,  my  girl. 
You  Ve  a  bitter  tongue." 

"  You  'd  marry  me  to-morrow,  if  you  could." 

"  I  would  not." 

"  You  would." 

"  Not  if  you  were  the  last  woman  in  the  world." 
56 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

"  Good  night." 

11  Good-by." 

The  culprit  seized  his  hat  and  rushed  away 
through  the  shadows  before  Tucker  had  time  to 
think  out  the  dignified  rebuke  that  he  had  in 
tended. 

There  was  a  pause.  He  was  conscious  that  an 
opportunity  had  slipped  from  him.  He  knew 
now  what  he  ought  to  have  said.  He  should  have 
asked  the  young  fellow  —  who  was  clearly  a  gen 
tleman,  far  above  Jane-Ellen  in  social  position  — 
whether  that  was  the  way  he  would  have  treated 
a  girl  in  his  own  mother's  drawing-room,  and 
whether  he  considered  that  less  chivalry  was  due 
to  a  working  girl  than  to  a  woman  of  leisure. 

Though  his  great  opportunity  was  gone,  he  de 
cided  to  do  whatever  remained.  After  a  short 
hesitation  he  descended  a  flight  of  steps  at  one 
end  of  the  piazza.  The  kitchen  opened  before 
him,  large  and  cavernous.  Two  lamps  hardly 
served  to  light  it.  It  was  red  tiled;  round  its 
walls  hung  large,  bright,  copper  saucepans,  and 
on  shelves  of  oak  along  its  sides  were  rows  of 
dark  blue  and  white  plates  and  dishes. 

57 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

Tucker  was  prepared  to  find  the  cook  in  tears, 
in  which  case  he  had  a  perfectly  definite  idea  as  to 
what  to  do;  but  the  disconcerting  young  woman 
was  moving  rapidly  about  the  kitchen,  humming 
to  herself.  She  held  a  small  but  steaming  sauce 
pan  in  her  hand,  which  was,  as  Tucker  swiftly  re 
flected,  a  much  better  weapon  than  the  handle  of 
an  ice-cream  freezer. 

"  Good  evening,  Jane-Ellen,"  he  said  graciously. 

"  Good  evening,  sir." 

She  did  not  even  look  in  his  direction,  but  bent 
witch-like  over  a  cauldron. 

"  I  wished  to  speak  to  you,"  he  said,  "  about 
that  little  incident  of  this  morning.  You  must 
not  think  that  I  am  by  nature  cruel  or  indifferent 
to  animals.  On  the  contrary,  I  am  a  life  mem 
ber  in  the  Society  for  Prevention  of  Cruelty  to 
them.  I  love  animals."  And  as  if  to  prove  his 
words,  he  put  out  his  hand  and  gently  pulled  the 
ears  of  Willoughby,  who  was  asleep  in  a  chair. 
Cats'  ears  are  extraordinarily  sensitive,  and 
Willoughby  woke  up  and  withdrew  his  head  with 
a  jerk. 

Willoughby's  mistress,  on  the  other  hand,  made 
58 


"Ycu  had  better  be  careful,  sir" 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

no  reply  whatsoever;  indeed  it  would  have  been 
impossible  to  be  sure  she  had  heard. 

"  How  different  she  is,"  thought  Tucker,  "  in 
the  presence  of  a  man  she  really  respects,  and  rec 
ognizes  as  her  superior.  All  the  levity  and  co 
quetry  disappear  from  her  bearing." 

"  I  was  truly  sorry,"  he  went  on,  drawing 
nearer  and  nearer  to  the  range,  "  to  have  been  the 
occasion  — " 

"  You  had  better  be  careful,  sir,"  she  said,  still 
without  looking  at  him,  "  these  sauces  sometimes 
boil  over."  And  as  she  spoke  she  put  a  spoon 
into  the  pan,  and  the  next  instant  Tucker  felt  a 
small  but  burning  drop  fall  upon  his  hand.  He 
started  back  with  an  exclamation. 

"  I  am  truly  sorry,  sir,"  she  said,  "  to  have  been 
the  occasion  — " 

He  glanced  at  her  sharply.  Was  she  conscious 
of  repeating  his  own  phrase?  She  seemed  to 
be  wholly  absorbed  in  her  task.  He  noticed 
how  prettily  the  hair  grew  at  the  back  of 
her  neck,  how  small  and  well  shaped  were  her 
ears.  His  manner  became  even  more  protect 
ing. 

61 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  I  am  an  older  man  than  your  employer  — " 
he  began. 

"  Yes,  indeed,  sir." 

He  decided  not  to  notice  the  interruption. 

"  I  am  older  and  have  seen  more  of  life.  I 
understand  more,  perhaps,  of  the  difficulties  of  a 
young,  and  I  must  say,  beautiful  woman,  Jane- 
Ellen—" 

"Why  must  you  say  that,  sir?"  Her  eyes 
fixed  themselves  on  his. 

"  Because  it  is  the  truth,  my  dear  child."  He 
again  approached  the  range,  but  as  a  fountain  in 
stantly  rose  from  the  sauce  he  retreated  and  con 
tinued:  "I  would  like,  if  any  little  troubles  in 
the  household  arise,  to  know  that  you  look  upon 
me  as  a  friend,  both  you  and  Willoughby."  (He 
thought  it  not  amiss  to  introduce  the  comic  note 
now  and  again.)  "  I  have  some  influence  with 
Mr.  Crane.  I  should  be  glad  to  do  you  a  good 
turn." 

"  You  can  do  me  one  now,  sir." 

"  Pray,  tell  me  what  it  is." 

"  You  can  go  away  and  let  me  get  the  dinner." 

"  You  want  me  to  go?  " 
62 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  The  kitchen  is  no  place  for  gentlemen." 

Tucker  laughed  tolerantly. 

"  Did  you  think  so  ten  minutes  ago?  " 

For  the  second  time  she  looked  in  his  direction, 
as  she  asked  quickly: 

"  What  do  you  mean?  " 

'  Your  last  visitor  was  not  so  respectful." 

She  had  put  down  the  saucepan  now,  and 
so  he  approached  and  tried  to  take  her 
hand. 

Perhaps  this  is  as  good  a  time  as  any  other  to 
describe  the  sensation  of  taking  Jane-Ellen's  hand. 
The  ordinary  mortal  put  out  an  ordinary  hand, 
and  touched  something,  something  presumably 
flesh  and  blood,  but  so  light,  so  soft,  so  pliant,  that 
it  seemed  literally  to  melt  into  the  folds  of  his 
palm,  so  that  even  after  the  hand  had  been  with 
drawn  (and  in  this  instance  it  was  instantly  with 
drawn)  the  feeling  seemed  to  remain,  and  Tucker 
found  himself  staring  at  his  own  fingers  to  see  if 
they  did  not  still  bear  traces  of  that  remarkable 
contact. 

It  was  just  at  this  moment  that  Brindlebury  en 
tered  the  kitchen  and  said,  in  a  tone  which  no  one 

63 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

could  have  considered  respectful,  that  the  motor 
was  coming  up  the  drive. 

Tucker  was  more  apt  to  meet  an  awkward  sit 
uation  —  and  the  situation  was  slightly  awkward 
—  by  an  additional  dignity  of  manner  rather  than 
by  any  ill-considered  action. 

"  Ah,"  he  now  observed,  "  in  that  case  I  think 
I  must  go  and  meet  it." 

"  I  think  I  would,  if  I  were  you,"  replied  the 
boy,  and  added  to  the  cook,  in  case  there  was  any 
mistake  about  his  meaning:  "  It  seems  to  me 
there  are  too  many  men  in  this  kitchen  in  the 
course  of  the  day." 

"  Well,  goodness  knows  they  're  not  here  to 
please  me,"  said  Jane-Ellen. 

Tucker,  who  understood  that  this  reply  had  to 
be  made,  wished,  nevertheless,  that  she  had  not 
made  it  with  such  a  convincing  sincerity  of  man 
ner.  He  turned  and  left  the  kitchen,  and,  as  he 
went  up  the  piazza  stairs,  became  aware  that  the 
boy  was  following  him. 

He  stood  still  at  the  top,  therefore,  and  asked 
with  that  hectoring  tone  which  many  people  think 
so  desirable  to  use  with  servants : 

64 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"What's  this?     You  wish  to  speak  to  me?" 

The  boy  hardly  troubled  to  approximate  civility 
as  he  answered: 

'  Yes;  I  just  wanted  to  tell  you  that  Jane-Ellen 
is  my  sister." 

Tucker  laughed  with  indulgent  good  hu 
mor. 

"  Indeed,"  he  said.  "  Well,  I  cannot  confess, 
Brindlebury,  to  taking  a  very  deep  interest  in  your 
family  relations." 

"  It 's  this  much  interest,  that  I  don't  want  you 
going  into  the  kitchen  to  talk  to  her." 

"  Tut,  tut,"  said  Tucker.  "  I  think  I  shall 
have  to  report  you  to  your  employer." 

"  And  I  may  have  to  report  you." 

This  was  so  beyond  the  bounds  of  convention 
that  Tucker  thought  best  to  ignore  it.  He  merely 
turned  on  his  heel  and  walked  into  the  house, 
where,  in  the  hall,  he  found  the  two  Falkener 
ladies  taking  off  their  coats. 

Mrs.  Falkener  was  all  graciousness.  She  was 
engaged  in  unwinding  a  veil  from  her  face,  and 
as  she  freed  her  nose  from  its  meshes  she  said 
briskly : 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

"And  how  is  the  housekeeping  going?  How 
is  your  staff  working?  " 

Crane  got  them  into  the  drawing-room,  where 
tea  was  waiting.  Mrs.  Falkener  spoke  to  him, 
but  she  cast  a  secret  glance  of  question  at  Tucker. 
Under  most  circumstances  he  would  have  replied 
by  raising  his  eyebrows,  shrugging  his  shoulders, 
closing  his  eyes,  or  conveying  in  some  manner  the 
true  reply  to  her  demand.  But  now  he  merely 
looked  into  his  teacup,  which  he  was  diligently 
stirring.  He  found  himself  uncertain  what  to  do. 
He  had  no  intention  of  mentioning  the  afternoon's 
incidents  to  Crane.  He  did  not  wish,  he  told 
himself,  to  tell  on  a  poor  young  woman,  and  per 
haps  deprive  her  of  her  job.  Besides,  it  is  very 
difficult  to  tell  a  story  in  which  you  have  been  an 
eavesdropper,  and  tell  it  with  any  sort  of  flourish 
and  satisfaction.  The  geography  of  the  balcony 
was  such  that  he  would  have  to  confess  either  to 
having  leaned  as  far  over  the  rail  as  possible,  or 
else  to  having  been  in  the  kitchen.  But  the  in 
solence  of  the  boy  Brindlebury  put  a  new  face  on 
the  matter.  He  deserved  reproof,  to  say  noth 
ing  of  the  fact  that  he  might  tell  in  a  mistaken  de- 

66 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

sire  to  protect  his  sister  from  annoyance.  To 
tell  any  of  this  to  Mrs.  Falkener  was  to  put  a 
weapon  in  her  hands  which  she  would  not  fail  to 
use  to  get  Jane-Ellen  out  of  the  house  within 
twenty-four  hours.  Tucker's  first  idea  was  that 
he  did  not  wish  Jane-Ellen  to  leave  the  house. 

But,  as  he  sat  stirring  his  tea,  another  thought 
came  to  him.  Why  should  she  not  leave,  why 
should  she  not  become  his  own  cook?  Crane, 
after  all,  only  offered  her  employment  for  a  few 
weeks,  whereas  he  —  He  decided  that  it  would 
be  better  for  Crane  to  get  rid  of  her;  he  decided, 
as  he  put  it  to  himself,  to  be  perfectly  open  with 
his  friend.  If  Crane  turned  her  out,  then  he, 
Tucker,  would  be  there,  helpful  and  ready,  like 
the  competent  middle-aged  hero  of  the  drama, 
whom  she  herself  had  so  well  described. 

He  joined  but  little  in  the  conversation  round 
the  tea-table,  and  Mrs.  Falkener,  watching  him 
narrowly,  feared  from  his  gravity  that  something 
serious  had  happened,  that  the  situation  was  worse 
than  she  had  imagined.  What,  she  wondered, 
had  occurred  in  the  last  twenty- four  hours? 
What  had  those  evil  women  with  manicured  nails 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

accomplished  in  her  absence?  She  maneuvered 
two  or  three  times  to  get  a  word  with  Tucker,  but 
he  seemed  unconscious  of  her  efforts. 

When  at  last  they  all  agreed  it  was  time  to  dress 
for  dinner,  Tucker  laid  a  detaining  hand  on  his 
host's  arm. 

"  Could  I  have  just  a  word  with  you,  Burt?" 
he  said. 

Crane  always  felt  like  a  naughty  child  when  his 
friend  spoke  to  him  like  this. 

"  Would  n't  later  do?  "  he  asked.  "  I  want  to 
get  a  bath  before  dinner,  and  if  we  keep  it  wait 
ing  we  may  spoil  some  of  those  wonderful  dishes 
that  star-eyed  beauty  in  the  kitchen  is  preparing 
for  us." 

"  It  is  about  her  I  want  to  speak  to  you." 

Both  ladies  and  Crane  turned  instantly  at  these 
words.  Then  the  Falkeners  with  a  strong  effort 
of  self-control  left  the  room,  and  the  two  men 
were  alone. 

"  Well,  what  is  it?  "  said  Crane,  rather  sharply. 

Tucker  was  now  all  suavity. 

"  I  'm  afraid,  after  all,"  he  began,  sitting  down 
and  swinging  one  leg  over  the  other,  "  that  you 

68 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

won't  be  able  to  keep  that  young  person.  I  'm 
afraid  Mrs.  Falkener  was  right.  Women  know 
these  things  at  a  glance." 

"What  things?" 

"  Why,  I  mean  that  in  spite  of  her  good  din 
ner,  I  'm  afraid  your  cook,  Burt,  is  not  —  Well, 
I  'd  better  tell  you  just  what  is  in  my  mind." 

"  Surely,  if  you  can,"  said  his  host  and  client. 

"  I  went  out  for  a  little  while  about  dusk  on 
the  back  piazza,  which  you  know  is  just  above  the 
kitchen,  and  a  conversation  below  is  audible  there. 
At  first  I  did  not  pay  much  attention  to  the  mur 
mur  of  voices,  but  gradually  I  became  aware  that 
some  one  was  making  love  to  Jane-Ellen  — " 

"Who  was  it?"  asked  Crane.  "That 
wretched  boy?  That  smug  butler?  " 

"  Alas,  no,"  said  Tucker.  "  If  it  had  been 
one  of  the  other  servants  I  should  not  have 
thought  it  much  harm.  Unhappily,  it  was  a 
young  gentleman,  a  person  so  much  her  social  su 
perior —  Well,  my  dear  fellow,  you  get  the 
idea." 

"  No  one  you  knew,  of  course?  " 

"  I  never  saw  him  before." 
69 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  How  did  you  see  him  at  all?  " 

This  was  the  question  that  Tucker  had  been 
anticipating. 

"Why,  to  tell  you  the  truth,  Burt,"  he  said, 
"  when  I  realized  what  was  going  on,  I  thought 
it  my  duty  for  your  sake  to  find  out.  I  looked 
over  the  railing  —  and  just  at  the  psychological 
moment  when  he  kissed  her." 

Crane  was  tapping  a  cigarette  thoughtfully  on 
the  palm  of  his  hand,  and  did  not  at  once  answer. 
When  he  did,  he  looked  up  with  a  smile,  and 
said: 

"  Lucky  dog,  is  what  I  say,  Tuck." 

"  I  don't  think,"  answered  his  friend,  "  that 
that  is  quite  the  right  attitude  for  you  to  assume." 

"  What  do  you  think  I  should  do?  " 

"  Dismiss  the  girl." 

Another  pause. 

"  Or,"  added  Tucker,  magnanimously,  "  if  you 
shrink  from  the  interview,  I  shall  be  very  glad  to 
do  it  for  you." 

Crane  looked  up. 

"  No,  thank  you,"  he  said.  "  I  think  you  have 
done  quite  enough.  I  should  not  dream  of  im- 

70 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

posing  upon  you  further."  He  walked  to  the  bell 
and  rang  it.  Smithfield  appeared. 

"  Tell  the  cook  I  want  to  see  her,"  he  said. 

After  a  brief  absence  Smithfield  returned. 

"  I  beg  pardon,  sir,"  he  said,  "  but  the  cook 
says  if  she  leaves  dinner  now  it  will  be  spoiled, 
and  won't  after  dinner  do?  " 

Crane  nodded. 

"  You  know,"  said  Tucker  when  they  were 
again  alone,  "  it  is  not  always  necessary  to  tell 
servants  why  you  are  dispensing  with  their  serv 
ices.  You  might  say  — " 

Much  to  his  surprise,  Crane  interrupted  him 
with  a  laugh. 

"  My  dear  Tuck,"  he  said,  "  you  don't  really 
suppose,  do  you,  that  I  am  going  to  dismiss  that 
peerless  woman  just  because  you  saw  an  ill-man 
nered  fellow  kiss  her?  I  shall  administer  a  telling 
rebuke  with  a  slight  sketch  of  my  notions  on  fe 
male  deportment.  It  would  take  more  than  that 
to  induce  me  to  send  her  away.  Indeed,  I  was 
thinking  of  taking  her  North  with  me." 

This  was  a  serious  suggestion,  but  Tucker  could 
think  of  no  better  way  to  meet  it  than  to  raise  his 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

eyebrows;  and  Crane  went  off  whistling  to  dress 
for  dinner. 

He  whistled  not  only  going  upstairs,  but  he 
whistled  in  his  bath  and  while  he  was  shaving. 
The  sound  annoyed  Tucker  in  the  next  room. 

"  It  almost  seems,"  he  thought,  "  as  if  he  were 
glad  to  see  the  woman  again  on  any  terms."  And 
yet,  he,  Tucker,  knew  that  she  considered  Crane 
quite  a  commonplace  young  man  —  not  at  all  like 
a  hero  in  the  third  act. 

The  way  Crane  had  taken  his  suggestions  was 
distressing.  Tucker  did  not  feel  that  he  thor 
oughly  understood  what  was  in  the  younger  man's 
mind.  His  first  intention  to  tell  Mrs.  Falkener 
nothing  began  to  fade.  It  would  have  been  all 
very  well  if  Burton  had  been  sensible  and  had  been 
willing  to  send  the  cook  away  and  he,  Tucker,  had 
been  able  to  engage  her,  to  ignore  the  whole  mat 
ter  to  Mrs.  Falkener.  Indeed,  it  would  have 
been  hard  to  explain  it.  But,  of  course,  if  Burton 
was  going  to  be  obstinate  about  it,  Mrs.  Falkener's 
aid  might  be  absolutely  necessary. 

"  After  all,"  he  thought,  "  candor  is  the  best 
policy  among  friends." 

72 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

He  dressed  quickly  and  was  not  mistaken  in  his 
belief  that  Mrs.  Falkener  would  have  done  the 
same.  She  was  waiting  for  him  in  the  drawing- 
room.  They  had  a  clear  fifteen  minutes  before 
dinner. 

"  Now  tell  me,  my  dear  Solon,"  she  said,  "  just 
what  you  think  of  the  situation." 

"  I  think  badly  of  it." 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener,  not  yet  quite  appre 
ciating  the  seriousness  of  his  tone.  "  I  do,  my 
self.  That  idiotic  housemaid,  Lily  —  I  could 
have  told  him  that  name  would  never  do  — 
hooked  me  twice  wrong,  and  left  my  daughter's 
dirty  boots  on  top  of  her  best  tea-gown." 

"  Ah,  if  incompetence  were  all  we  had  to  com 
plain  of!" 

"The  cook?" 

"  Is  perfection,  as  far  as  cooking  goes.  But 
in  other  respects —  Really,  my  dear  Mrs.  Falk 
ener,  I  am  in  doubt  whether  you  should  let  your 
daughter  stay  in  this  house  —  at  least,  until  Bur 
ton  comes  to  his  senses." 

'  You  must  tell  me  just  what  you  mean." 

Tucker  decided  to  tell  the  story  reluctantly. 
73 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Why,  it  happened  this  afternoon,  Burton  was 
away  with  his  horses,  and  quite  by  accident  I  came 
upon  his  pretty  cook  in  the  arms  of  a  strange 
young  man,  a  person  vastly  her  social  superior, 
one  of  the  young  landholders  of  the  neighborhood, 
I  should  say.  Seemed  to  assume  the  most  confi 
dent  right  to  be  in  Burton's  kitchen  —  a  man  he 
may  know  in  the  hunting  field,  may  have  to  dinner 
to-morrow.  I  don't  know  who  he  is,  but  certainly 
a  gentleman." 

"  How  very  unpleasant,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener. 
"  Did  the  woman  take  in  that  you  had  detected 
her?" 

"  Yes,  and  seemed  quite  unabashed." 

"  And  now  I  suppose  you  are  hesitating  whether 
or  not  to  tell  Burton?" 

Tucker  was  naturally  cautious. 

"  And  what  would  you  advise?  " 

"  It  is  your  duty  to  tell  him  at  once,  and  get  such 
a  person  out  of  the  house." 

"  You  think  if  I  told  him,  he  would  dismiss 
her?" 

"  I  am  confident  he  would,  unless  — " 

"Unless?" 

74 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Unless  he  has  himself  some  interest  in  her." 

"  Ah,"  said  Tucker,  with  a  deep  sigh,  "  that's 
the  question." 

At  this  moment  Miss  Falkener,  looking  very 
handsome  in  a  sapphire-colored  dress,  came  in. 
She,  too,  perhaps,  had  expected  that  somebody 
would  be  dressed  a  little  ahead  of  time  for  the 
sake  of  a  few  minutes'  private  talk.  If  so,  she 
was  disappointed. 

"  Ah,  Cora,"  said  her  mother  brightly,  "  let  us 
hear  how  the  piano  sounds.  Give  us  some  of 
that  delightful  Chopin  you  were  playing  last  even- 
ing." 

Cora,  to  show  her  independence  of  spirit,  sat 
down  and  began  to  play  ragtime,  but  neither  of  her 
auditors  noticed  the  difference. 

'  You  mean,"  whispered  Mrs.  Falkener,  "  that 
you  have  reason  to  suppose  that  Crane  him 
self—?" 

"  Why,  to  be  candid,  my  dear  lady,"  replied 
Tucker,  "  I  did  tell  him.  You  may  have  noticed 
I  seemed  a  trifle  abstracted  at  tea  time.  I  was 
considering  what  it  was  best  to  do.  Well,  when 
you  left  us,  I  told  him.  What  do  you  think  he 

75 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

said?     '  Lucky  dog.'     That  was  all.     Just  '  lucky 
dog.'  " 

"  Meaning  you?  " 

"  No,  no,  meaning  the  fellow  who  had  been 
kissing  the  cook." 

"  Dear  me,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener,  "  how  very 
light  minded." 

"  It  shocked  me  —  to  have  him  take  it  like  that. 
And  he  would  not  hear  of  dismissing  her.  He 
intends  merely  to  reprove  her,  so  he  says.  But 
what  reproof  is  possible?  And  the  most  alarm 
ing  feature  of  the  whole  situation  is  that,  to 
my  opinion,  he  is  looking  forward  to  the  inter 
view." 

,"  The  woman  must  be  sent  out  of  the  house 
immediately,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener  with  decision. 
"  I  wonder  if  higher  wages  would  tempt  her?  " 

"  I  see  your  idea,"  answered  Tucker.  "  You 
think  I  ought  to  offer  a  position.  I  would  do 
more  than  that  to  save  Burt." 

"  A  position  as  cook,  you  mean?  " 

;'  Why,  Mrs.  Falkener,  what  else  could  I 
mean?  " 

"  Oh,  nothing,  Solon,  I  only  thought  — " 
76 


Cora 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

The  friends  were  still  explaining  away  the  lit 
tle  misunderstanding  when  Crane  came  down,  and 
dinner  was  announced. 

Mrs.  Falkener,  with  of  course  the  heartiest 
wish  to  criticize,  was  forced  to  admit  the  food 
was  perfection.  The  soup  so  clear  and  strong, 
the  fried  fish  so  dry  and  tender,  even  the  cheese 
souffle,  for  which  she  had  waited  most  hopefully, 
turned  out  to  be  beautifully  light  and  fluffy.  Hav 
ing  come  to-  curse  she  was  obliged  to  bless ;  and  her 
praise  was  delightful  to  Crane. 

"Yes,  isn't  she  a  wonder?"  he  kept  saying. 
"  Was  n't  it  great  luck  to  find  any  one  like  that  in 
a  place  such  as  this  ?  Tuck,  here,  keeps  trying  to 
poison  my  mind  against  her,  but  I  would  n't  part 
with  a  cook  like  that  even  if  she  were  a  Mes- 
salina." 

Mrs.  Falkener,  who  could  n't  on  the  instant  re 
member  who  Messalina  was,  attempted  to  look  as 
if  she  thought  it  would  be  better  not  to  mention 
such  people  in  the  presence  of  her  daughter. 

'  Tuck's  an  inhuman  old  creature,  is  n't  he, 
Mrs.  Falkener?  "  Crane  went  on.  "  I  don't  be 
lieve  he  ever  had  a  natural  impulse  in  his  life,  and 

79 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

so  he  has  no  sympathy  with  the  impulses  of 
others." 

Tucker  smiled  quietly.  It  came  to  him  that 
just  so  the  iron  reserve  of  the  middle-aged  hero 
was  often  misinterpreted  during  the  first  two  acts 
by  more  frivolous  members  of  the  cast. 

As  they  rose  from  table,  Miss  Falkener  said : 

"  It 's  such  a  lovely  night.  Such  a  moon. 
Have  you  seen  it,  Mr.  Crane?  " 

"  Well,  I  saw  it  as  we  drove  over  from  the  sta 
tion,"  returned  Crane,  a  trifle  absently.  He  had 
become  thoughtful  as  dinner  ended. 

"  Do  you  think,"  said  Cora,  "  that  it  would  be 
too  cold  to  take  a  turn  in  the  garden?  I  should 
like  to  see  the  old  box  and  the  cedars  by  moon- 
light." 

"  Not  a  bit.  Let 's  go  out.  I  have  something 
to  do  first,  but  it  won't  take  me  ten  minutes. 
But,"  he  added,  "  you  must  not  catch  cold  and 
get  laid  up,  and  miss  the  run  to-morrow.  I  'm 
going  to  put  you  on  a  new  Irish  mare  I  Ve  just 
bought."  And  they  found  themselves  talking  not 
about  the  garden,  but  the  stable. 

In  the  midst  of  it  Smithfield  came  into  the  draw- 
So 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

ing-room  with  the  coffee,  and  Crane  said  to  him, 
in  a  low  tone : 

"  Oh,  Smithfield,  tell  the  cook  I  '11  see  her  now, 
in  the  little  office  across  the  hall." 

Smithfield  looked  graver  than  usual. 

"  Beg  pardon,  sir,"  he  said,  "  but  the  cook  was 
feeling  tired  and  has  gone  up  to  bed,  sir." 

Crane  was  just  helping  himself  to  sugar. 

"  She  cooked  this  coffee,  didn't  she?"  he  said. 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  She  can't  have  been  gone  very  long  then." 

"  About  five  minutes,  sir." 

"  Go  up  and  tell  her  to  come  down,"  said  Crane. 

He  turned  again  to  Miss  Falkener  and  went  on 
about  the  past  performances  of  the  Irish  mare, 
but  it  was  quite  clear  to  all  who  heard  him  that  his 
heart  was  no  longer  in  the  topic. 

Smithfield's  return  was  greeted  by  complete 
silence. 

"Well?"  said  Crane  sharply. 

"  Beg  pardon,  sir,"  said  Smithfield,  "  Jane- 
Ellen  says  that  she  is  very  tired,  and  that  if  the 
morning  will  do  — " 

'  The  morning  will  not  do,"  answered  Crane, 
81 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

with  a  promptness  unusual  in  him.  "  Go  up  and 
tell  her  that  if  she  is  not  in  my  office  within  ten 
minutes,  I  '11  come  up  myself." 

Smithfield  bowed  and  withdrew. 

Silence  again  descended  on  the  room.  Mrs. 
Falkener  and  Tucker  were  silent  because  they  both 
felt  that  thus  their  faces  expressed  more  plainly 
than  words  could  do  that  this  was  just  about  what 
they  had  expected.  But  Cora,  who  was  young 
enough  to  understand  that  anger  may  be  a  form  of 
interest,  watched  him  with  a  strangely  wistful  ex 
pression. 

After  what  seemed  to  every  one  an  interminable 
delay,  Smithfield  entered  again.  He  looked  pale 
and  graver  than  any  one  had  ever  seen  his  habitu 
ally  grave  countenance. 

"  Jane-Ellen  is  in  your  office  now,  sir,"  he  said. 

Crane  rose  at  once  and  left  the  room  followed 
by  Smithfield. 


82 


JANE-ELLEN  was  standing  in  the  office,  with 
her  hands  folded,  and  an  expression  of  the  ut 
most  calm  upon  her  face.  Crane  came  in  quickly 
and  would  have  shut  the  door,  but  for  the  fact 
that  Smithfield  was  immediately  behind  him. 

"  Beg  pardon,  sir,"  he  said  firmly,  sliding  into 
the  room,  "  but  I  must  look  to  the  fire." 

Crane  frowned. 

"  The  fire  's  all  right,"  he  said  shortly. 

But  Smithfield  was  not  to  be  put  off  his  duties, 
and  began  to  poke  the  logs  and  sweep  the  hearth 
until  peremptorily  ordered  to  go. 

When  the  door  finally  closed  behind  him,  Crane 
stood  silent  a  moment  with  his  hand  on  the  mantel 
piece.  The  whole  tone  of  the  interview,  upon 
which  it  now  occurred  to  him  he  had  rushed  some 
what  too  hastily,  would  be  decided  by  whether  he 
spoke  standing  up  or  sitting  down.  His  feelings 
were  for  the  first,  his  intellect  for  the  latter  posi 
tion. 

83 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

His  intellect  won.  He  sat  down  in  a' deep  chair 
and  crossed  his  legs.  As  he  did  so,  the  cook's 
eyes,  which  had  hitherto  been  fixed  on  the  carpet, 
now  raised  themselves  to  the  level  of  his  neat 
pumps  and  black  silk  socks.  He  was  aware  of 
this,  but  did  not  allow  himself  to  be  disconcerted. 

"  I  suppose  you  can  guess  why  I  sent  for  you, 
Jane-Ellen,"  he  said. 

"  The  dinner  was  not  satisfactory,  sir?" 

"  I  doubt  if  you  could  cook  an  unsatisfactory 
dinner  if  you  tried,"  he  returned.  "  No,  the 
trouble  is  over  something  that  happened  an  hour 
or  so  before  dinner." 

"  You  did  not  approve,  perhaps,  of  that  gentle 
man,  Mr.  Tucker,  coming  into  the  kitchen?  But, 
indeed,  I  could  not  help  that." 

"  Oh,"  said  Crane,  "  so  Tucker  was  in  the 
kitchen,  was  he?  " 

"  Yes,  sir,  until  Brindlebury  told  him  the  motor 
was  coming  with  the  ladies." 

"  No,"  said  Crane,  "  the  difficulty  is  over  a 
former  visitor  of  yours.  I  think  it  my  right,  even 
my  duty  to  prevent  anything  happening  in  this 
house  of  which  I  disapprove,  and  I  do  not  ap- 

84 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

prove,  Jane-Ellen,  of  strangers  coming  into  my 
house  and  kissing  the  cook." 

He  looked  at  her  squarely  as  he  said  this,  but 
her  eyes  remained  fixed  on  his  feet  as  she  replied 
docilely : 

"  Yes,  sir.  Perhaps  it  would  be  better  for  you 
to  speak  to  the  young  man  about  it." 

"  Ah,"  returned  her  employer,  as  one  now  go 
ing  over  familiar  ground,  "  you  mean  to  imply 
that  it  was  not  your  fault?  " 

She  did  not  directly  answer  this  question.  She 
said: 

"  I  suppose  in  your  class  of  life  a  gentleman 
would  not  under  any  circumstances  kiss  a  young 
lady  against  her  will?  " 

"  Well,"  answered  Crane,  with  some  amuse 
ment,  "  he  certainly  never  ought  to  do  so.  And 
,by  the  way,  one  of  the  points  about  this  incident 
seems  to  be  that  the  young  man  in  question  had 
the  appearance  of  being  a  gentleman." 

"  He  certainly  considers  himself  so." 

There  was  a  pause,  then  Crane  said,  seriously: 

"  I  don't  want  to  interfere  in  your  concerns  fur 
ther  than  I  have  to,  or  to  offer  you  advice  — " 

85 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  But  I  should  be  so  glad  to  have  you  offer  me 
advice,  sir.  It  is  one  of  the  few  things  a  gentle 
man  may  offer  a  girl  in  my  position  and  she  accept 
with  a  clear  conscience." 

For  the  first  time  Crane  looked  at  her  with  sus 
picion.  Her  tone  and  look  were  demure  in  the  ex 
treme.  He  decided  to  go  on. 

"  Well,  then,"  he  said,  "  if  I  were  you  I  would 
not  have  a  gentleman,  especially  such  an  impulsive 
one,  hanging  about,  unless  you  are  engaged  to  him 
with  the  consent  of  your  family." 

She  raised  her  chin,  without  lifting  her  eyes. 

"  It 's  not  the  consent  of  our  families  that 's 
lacking,"  she  remarked. 

"  Oh,  he  's  asked  you  to  marry  him?  " 

"  Almost  every  day,  sir,  until  to-day." 

"And  to-day  he  didn't?" 

"  To-day  he  said  he  would  n't  marry  me,  if  I 
were  the  last  woman  in  the  world." 

"  And  what  did  you  think  about  that?  " 

"  I  thought  it  was  n't  true,  sir." 

Crane  laughed  aloud  at  this  direct  answer. 

"  And  it  sounds  to  me  as  if  you  were  right, 
Jane-Ellen,"  he  said.  "  But,  at  the  same  time,  I 

86 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

can't  see  for  the  life  of  me  why,  if  you  don't  mean 
to  marry  him,  you  let  him  kiss  you." 

"  If  you  please,  sir,  it 's  not  always  possible  to 
prevent.  You  see  I  'm  not  very  large." 

Crane  looked  at  her,  and  had  to  admit  that  the 
feat  would  be  extremely  easy.  She  hardly  came  to 
one's  shoulder;  almost  any  man —  Hastily  put 
ting  aside  this  train  of  thought,  he  said  in  a  more 
judicial  tone: 

"  You  know  your  own  affairs  best.  Is  the 
young  man  able  to  support  you  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir,  very  comfortably." 

"  And  yet  you  don't  consider  marrying  him?  " 

"  No,  sir.     I  don't  love  him." 

Matters  had  suddenly  become  rather  serious. 

"  You  would  rather  work  for  your  living  than 
marry  a  man  you  don't  love?"  Crane  asked,  al 
most  in  spite  of  himself. 

For  the  first  time  the  cook  looked  up,  straight  at 
him,  as  she  answered: 

"  I  think  I  would  rather  die,  sir." 

This  time  it  was  Crane's  eyes  that  dropped. 
Fortunately,  he  reflected,  she  could  not  have  any 
idea  how  sharply  her  remark  had  touched  his  own 

8? 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

inner  state.  How  clearly  she  saw  that  it  was 
wrong  to  do  just  what  he  was  contemplating  doing 
—  to  marry  for  prudence,  rather  than  for  love. 
He  found  himself  speculating  on  the  genesis  of  the 
moral  sense,  how  it  developed  in  difficulties  rather 
than  in  ease.  That  was  why  he  could  learn  some 
thing  on  the  subject  from  his  cook.  Here  was  a 
girl  working  for  her  living,  working  hard  and 
long,  for  wages  which  though  he  had  once,  he  re 
membered,  told  Reed  they  seemed  excessive,  now 
appeared  to  him  the  merest  pittance;  certainly  it 
seemed  as  if  all  the  hardships  of  such  a  life  would 
be  smoothed  away  by  this  suggested  marriage,  and 
yet  she  could  assert  clearly  that  she  would  rather 
die  than  make  it;  whereas  he,  with  nothing  very 
much  at  stake,  had  actually  been  contemplating 
for  several  months  the  making  of  just  such  a  mar 
riage  —  He  was  interrupted  by  her  respectful 
tones: 

"Will  that  be  all,  sir?" 

"  Yes,"  he  answered  in  a  voice  that  lacked  fi 
nality.  "  I  suppose  that 's  all,  except  if  that  fel 
low  comes  bothering  you  any  more,  let  me  know, 
and  I  '11  tell  him  what  I  think  of  him." 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

Jane-Ellen  lifted  the  corner  of  her  mouth  in  a 
terrible  smile. 

"  Oh,"  she  said,  "  I  don't  think  he  '11  come 
bothering  any  more." 

"  You  're  very  optimistic,  Jane-Ellen." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  sir,  those  long  words  — " 

"  Very  hopeful,  I  meant.  He  '11  be  back  to 
morrow." 

"  Not  after  what  I  said  to  him.'* 

"  Well,  Jane-Ellen,  if  you  have  really  found 
the  potent  thing  to  say  under  such  circumstances, 
you  're  a  true  benefactor  to  your  sex." 

She  looked  at  him  with  mild  confusion. 

"  I  'm  afraid  I  don't  rightly  understand,  sir." 

He  smiled. 

"  It  was  my  way  of  asking  you  what  you  had 
said  to  him  that  you  imagined  would  keep  him 
from  coming  back." 

"  I  told  him  I  had  only  pretended  to  like  him, 
all  these  years.  People,  particularly  gentlemen, 
don't  like  to  think  you  have  to  pretend  to  like 
them." 

Crane  laughed  aloud,  wondering  if  the  girl  had 
any  idea  how  amusing  she  was.  In  the  pause  that 

89 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

followed,  the  sound  of  a  deep  masculine  voice 
could  be  heard  suddenly  under  their  feet.  The 
office  was  immediately  above  the  servants'  sitting- 
room,  and  it  was  but  too  evident  that  a  visitor 
had  just  entered. 

Crane  looked  at  the  cook  questioningly,  and  she 
had  the  grace  to  color. 

"  Why,  did  you  ever,  sir,"  she  said.  "  There 
he  is,  this  very  moment !  " 

"  Shall  I  go  down  and  forbid  him  the  house  ?  " 
asked  Burton,  and  though  he  spoke  in  fun,  he 
would  have  been  delighted  to  act  in  earnest. 

"  Oh,  no,  sir,  thank  you,"  she  answered.  "  I 
am  not  going  back  to  the  kitchen." 

This  reminded  her  employer  of  the  extreme  dif 
ficulty  he  had  experienced  in  seeing  his  cook  at  all. 

"  Why  did  you  try  and  get  out  of  seeing  me, 
Jane-Ellen?"  he  said.  "You  knew  about  what 
I  had  to  say,  I  suppose?  " 

"  I  had  a  notion,  sir." 

"  And  were  you  afraid?  " 

At  this  question,  the  cook  bent  her  head  until  a 
shadow  fell  upon  it,  but  Crane  had  a  clear  impres 
sion  that  she  was  laughing,  so  clear  that  he  said: 

90 


"  And  may  I  ask  why  it  is  a  comic  idea  that  a 
servant  should  be  afraid  of  her  employer?  " 

The  cook  now  raised  a  mask-like  face  and  said 
most  respectfully: 

"  No,  sir,  I  was  not  exactly  afraid,"  and,  hav 
ing  said  this,  without  the  slightest  warning  she 
burst  into  an  unmistakable  giggle. 

Nobody  probably  enjoys  finding  that  the  idea 
of  his  inspiring  terror  is  merely  ludicrous.  Crane 
regarded  his  cook  with  a  sternness  that  was  not 
entirely  false.  She,  still  struggling  to  regain 
complete  gravity  at  the  corners  of  her  mouth,  said 
civilly : 

"  Oh,  I  do  hope  you  '11  excuse  my  laughing,  sir. 
The  fact  is  that  it  was  not  I  who  tried  to  avoid 
seeing  you.  It  was  Smithfield's  idea." 

"Smithfield!"  cried  Crane. 

"  Yes,  sir.  He  had  the  notion,  I  think,  that 
you  might  be  very  severe  with  me,  sir,  and  Smith- 
field  is  peculiar,  he  has  a  very  sensitive  nature  — " 

"  Well,  upon  my  word,"  cried  Crane,  springing 
to  his  feet,  "  that  is  exactly  what  Smithfield  says 
about  you.  It  seems  to  me  I  have  a  damned  queer 
houseful  of  servants." 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

The  cook  edged  to  the  door. 

"  Perhaps  it  seems  so,  sir,"  she  said.  ;<  Will 
that  be  all  for  to-night?  " 

"  Yes.  No,"  he  added  hastily,  "  I  have  one 
more  thing  to  say  to  you,  Jane-Ellen,  and  it 's 
this.  Don't  make  the  mistake  of  fancying  that  I 
have  taken  this  whole  incident  lightly.  I  don't. 
It  really  must  not  happen  again.  Understand  that 
clearly." 

"  You  mean  if  that  gentleman  came  back,  you 
would  dismiss  me,  sir?  " 

"  I  think  I  would,"  he  answered. 

"  Even  if  it  were  n't  my  fault?  " 

"  Was  the  fault  entirely  his,  Jane-Ellen?  " 

"  Ask  him,  sir." 

"  You  know  much  more  about  it  than  he  does. 
Was  the  fault  entirely  his?  " 

The  cook  wriggled  her  shoulders,  crumpled  her 
apron  and  seemed  unwilling  to  answer  a  direct 
question  directly.  At  last  an  idea  occurred  to  her. 
She  looked  up  brightly. 

"  It  was  the  ice-cream,  sir,"  she  said.  "  I  was 
trying  to  teach  him  how  to  freeze  ice-cream  slowly. 
It  ought  to  be  done  like  this."  And  bending  over 

92 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

an  imaginary  freezer,  she  imitated  with  her  ab 
surdly  small  hand  the  suave,  gentle,  rotary  motion 
essential  to  the  great  American  luxury. 

As  he  stood  looking  down  on  her,  it  seemed  to 
Crane  extraordinarily  clear  how  it  had  all  hap 
pened,  so  clear  indeed  that  for  a  second  it  almost 
seemed  as  if  he  himself  were  in  the  place  of  the 
culprit  whose  conduct  he  had  just  been  condemn 
ing. 

He  stepped  back  hastily. 

"  No,  Jane-Ellen,"  he  said,  "  it  was  not  all  his 
fault.  Of  that  you  have  convinced  me." 

She  stretched  out  her  hand  to  the  door. 

"Will  that  be  all,  sir?  The  cook,  you  know, 
has  to  get  up  so  very  early  in  the  morning." 

He  tried  to  counteract  the  feeling  of  pity  and 
shame  that  swept  over  him  at  the  realization  that 
this  young  and  delicate  creature  had  to  get  up  at 
dawn  to  work  for  him  and  his  guests.  The  effort 
made  his  tone  rather  severe  as  he  said : 

11  Yes,  that 's  all.     Good  night." 

"  Good  night,  sir,"  she  answered,  with  her  un 
ruffled  sweetness,  and  was  gone. 

He  stood  still  a  moment,  conscious  of  an  un- 

93 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

usual  alertness  both  of  mind  and  emotion.  And 
that  very  alertness  made  him  aware  that  at  that 
moment  there  was  a  man  in  his  kitchen  against 
whom  he  felt  the  keenest  personal  animosity. 
Crane  would  have  dearly  liked  to  go  down  and 
turn  him  out,  but  he  resisted  the  impulse,  which 
somehow  savored  of  Tucker  in  his  mind.  And 
what,  by  the  way,  had  Tucker  been  doing  in  the 
kitchen?  And  Smithfield,  why  had  Smithfield 
tried  to  interfere  with  his  seeing  the  cook?  He 
found  plenty  of  food  for  reflection. 

Among  other  things  he  had  to  consider  his 
return  to  the  drawing-room.  Looking  at  his 
watch  he  observed  that  a  longer  time  had  elapsed 
since  he  left  it  than  he  had  supposed.  There 
would  be  comments,  there  would  be  attempted 
jokes  from  Tucker.  Well,  that  would  be  easily 
met  by  a  question  as  to  Tucker's  own  interest  in 
the  culinary  art.  Mrs.  Falkener's  methods  of  at 
tack  were  not  subtle,  either.  But  Cora  —  he 
wished  Cora  would  not  just  look  at  him  as  if  he 
had  done  something  cruel. 

But,  as  is  so  often  the  way  when  we  prepare 
ourselves  for  one  situation,  quite  another  one  turns 

94 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

up.  The  three  were  not  sitting,  awaiting  his  re 
turn.  The  drawing-room  was  empty  except  for 
Mrs.  Falkener,  who  was  reading  when  he  entered, 
and  instead  of  betraying  a  conviction  that  he  had 
been  too  long  away,  she  looked  up  and  said  chat 
tily: 

'  Well,  did  you  reduce  the  young  woman  to  or 
der?  " 

"  That  is  a  good  deal  to  expect  from  an  un 
aided  male,  is  n't  it?  "  said  Burton,  very  much  re 
lieved. 

"  Ah,  it  depends  on  the  male,  my  dear  Burton. 
You,  I  imagine,  could  be  very  terrifying  if  you 
wished  to  be.  What  did  the  young  woman  do? 
Weep,  protest,  declare  that  it  had  all  taken  place 
quite  without  her  consent?  " 

Burton  smiled.  He  had  no  intention  whatso 
ever  of  sharing  his  recent  experiences  with  Mrs. 
Falkener. 

"  Ah,"  he  said,  "  I  see  you  know  your  own  sex 
thoroughly.  Where  are  Tuck  and  your  daugh 
ter?" 

"  Solon  is  taking  a  turn  on  the  piazza;  he  hopes 
it  will  make  him  sleep  better;  and  Cora  was  tired 

95 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

and  has  gone  to  bed."  Mrs.  Falkener  sighed. 
"  Cora  does  n't  seem  very  well  to  me." 

"  I  'm  sorry  to  hear  that,"  returned  Crane.  "  I 
thought  she  was  looking  very  fit  this  evening." 
He  spoke  more  lightly  than  he  felt,  however,  for 
something  portentous  in  Mrs.  Falkener's  tone 
struck  him  with  alarm. 

"  Sit  down,  Burton,"  said  she,  sweeping  her 
hand  toward  a  cushioned  stool  at  her  side.  "  I 
want  to  say  something  to  you." 

Crane  found  himself  obeying,  with  his  hands 
between  his  knees,  and  his  toes  turned  in,  like  a 
school  boy  who  has  forgotten  his  lesson;  then,  be 
coming  aware  of  this  pose,  he  suddenly  changed 
it  —  crossed  one  leg  over  the  other,  as  he  had 
done  in  the  office  a  few  minutes  before. 

In  the  meantime,  Mrs.  Falkener  was  saying: 

'  The  truth  is,  I  'm  afraid  that  we  must  cut 
our  visit  short,  delightful  as  it  promises  to  be." 

"  Oh,  Mrs.  Falkener,  we  're  not  making  you 
comfortable.  What  is  it?  " 

"  No,  Burton,  no."  Mrs.  Falkener  held  up 
her  hand.  '  You  are  making  us  perfectly  com 
fortable  —  at  least,  in  all  essentials.  And  who 

96 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

minds  roughing  it  now  and  then  for  a  week  or  so? 
It 's  good  for  us,"  she  added  playfully.  "  The 
housemaid  is  not  —  but  no  matter." 

"  What  has  the  housemaid  done?  "  asked  Crane 
with  what  semblance  of  interest  he  could  summon, 
but  as  he  spoke  his  heart  went  out  in  sympathy 
to  every  hotel  and  boarding-house  keeper  in  the 
world.  "  Good  heavens,"  he  thought,  "  suppose 
my  living  depended  on  my  pleasing  them,  what  a 
state  I  should  be  in!  "  Aloud  he  said:  "  What 
has  Lily  been  doing?  " 

"  Nothing,  nothing.  Lily  means  well,  I  'm 
sure,  in  spite  of  her  lackadaisical  ways.  It  is  quite 
a  privilege,  I  assure  you,  to  be  waited  on  by  such 
an  elegant  young  lady.  She  hooked  me  up  wrong 
twice  this  evening,  and  when  I  not  unnaturally  ob 
jected,  she  stuck  a  pin  in  me.  Oh,  by  accident, 
I  'm  sure.  No,  I  have  no  fault  to  find  with  Lily, 
whatsoever." 

" 1  'm  glad  to  hear  that,"  said  Crane,  punctu 
ating  his  sentence  to  allow  himself  to  indulge  in  a 
half-suppressed  yawn.  "Who  is  it,  then?  Not 
Smithfield?  Or  the  boy?" 

"  Oh,  I  should  never  have  anything  to  do  with 
97 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

that  boy,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener,  bridling.  "  Oh, 
never  in  the  world.  I  think  he  's  half-witted.  1 
saw  him  stick  out  his  tongue  at  Solon  this  eve 
ning." 

Crane  laughed,  though  he  knew  he  ought  not 
to. 

"Did  Solon  see?" 

"  No.  The  boy  contrived  it  so  that  Solon  had 
just  looked  away." 

"  Well,  then,  perhaps  he  's  not  half-witted,  after 
all,"  said  Burton.  "  It  occurs  to  me  that  perhaps 
that  is  the  only  reply  to  a  good  deal  that  Solon 
says." 

"  I  'm  devoted  to  Solon,"  replied  Mrs.  Falk 
ener,  drawing  herself  up,  "  and  I  must  say  you 
ought  to  — " 

"  I  am,  I  am,"  said  Crane,  hastily,  "  but  I  am  at 
the  same  time  able  to  understand  why  Brindlebury 
possibly  is  n't.  But  come,  Mrs.  Falkener,  if  it 
is  n't  these  servants  that  are  driving  you  away, 
what  is  it?" 

"  I  don't  know  how  to  explain  it,"  said  Mrs. 
Falkener.  "  It 's  not  really  clear  to  me,  myself. 
I  'm  sure  I  don't  want  to  be  unkind,  or  to  hurt  any 

98 


Lily 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

one's  feelings,  least  of  all  yours,  my  dear  Burt." 
And  she  leaned  over  and  laid  her  hand  on  his. 
Crane  gave  it  a  good  brisk  squeeze  and  returned  it 
to  her  lap  as  if  it  were  too  dear  for  his  possessing; 
and  she  went  on :  "I  own  I  am  anxious  about 
Cora.  She  is  very  deep,  very  reserved;  she  tells 
me  nothing,  but  she  is  not  happy,  Burton." 

"  I  'm  sorry  for  that,"  said  Crane,  in  a  very 
matter-of-fact  tone.  He  got  up  and  went  to  a 
table  where  the  cigarettes  were.  The  profound 
male  instinct  of  self-preservation  was  now  thor 
oughly  awake,  and  he  knew  exactly  what  he  was 
in  for.  Only,  he  noted,  that  if  he  had  had  this  in 
terview  with  Mrs.  Falkener  before  he  had  seen 
the  cook,  he  might  quite  easily  have  been  per 
suaded  that,  in  the  absence  of  any  more  definite 
vocation,  he  had  been  created  to  make  Cora  Falk- 
ener's  life  tolerable  to  her.  As  it  was,  he  saw 
perfectly  that  altruism  was  no  sound  basis  for 
matrimony. 

'  You   don't  understand   what   it   is   to  be    a 
mother,  Burt." 

Crane  admitted  with  a  shake  of  his  head  that  he 
did  n't. 

101 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  1 

"  But  I  have  an  instinct  that  this  is  not  the  best 
place  for  Cora." 

"  Well,  if  you  were  a  man,  Mrs.  Falkener," 
said  Crane,  "  I  should  say  that  that  instinct  was 
the  result  of  being  poorly  valeted.  It  must  be  a 
bore  for  women  to  have  a  wretched  maid  like  Lily. 
Don't  you  think  that  if  I  found  some  one  a  little 
more  competent  that  you  and  Cora  would  feel  you 
could  put  in  at  least  a  week  or  so  with  us?  The 
hunting  is  really  going  to  be  good,  and  Cora  does 
enjoy  hunting." 

Mrs.  Falkener  refused  to  lighten  the  tone  of  the 
conversation.  She  shook  her  head. 

"  No,"  she  said,  "  no.  I  'm  afraid  even  a  good 
maid  would  not  help.  In  fact,  to  speak  plainly, 
my  dear  Burton — " 

But  at  this  moment  the  door  opened  and  Tucker 
came  in.  His  hair  was  somewhat  rumpled  by  the 
wind,  his  hands  were  still  in  his  pockets  as  he  had 
had  them  during  his  constitutional  on  the  front 
porch,  and  his  eyes,  contracted  by  the  sudden  light, 
looked  almost  white. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  are  you  enjoying  this  musical 
party  downstairs?  " 

102 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

All  three  listened  in  silence,  and  could  hear  the 
strains  of  "  Home,  Sweet  Home  "  coming  from 
below. 

"  They  have  a  phonograph  and  they  are  sing 
ing  in  parts,"  said  Tucker,  as  if  this  somehow  made 
it  worse. 

"  If  we  got  Miss  Falkener  down,  we  might  do 
something  ourselves,"  said  Crane,  but  there  was 
nothing  frivolous  in  his  manner  when  he  rang  and 
told  Smithfield  there  was  too  much  noise  down 
stairs. 

Smithfield  begged  pardon  and  had  not  a  notion 
it  could  be  heard  upstairs.  Crane  said  the  boy's, 
Brindlebury's,  tenor  carried  some  distance,  and, 
Mrs.  Falkener  and  Tucker  having  gone,  he  added 
that  the  house  could  be  shut  for  the  night. 

Then  he  went  to  the  table,  and  his  eye  fell  again 
upon  the  miniature  in  the  pearl  frame.  He  took 
it  up.  There  was  no  doubt  about  it,  there  was  an 
extraordinary  likeness  to  Jane-Ellen.  He  smiled 
to  himself.  How  very  charming  she  would  look, 
he  thought,  in  a  mauve  ball  dress. 

Raising  his  eyes,  he  found  Smithfield  looking  at 
him  with  an  expression  he  did  not  thoroughly  like. 

103 


VI 

ON  the  stroke  of  seven  o'clock  the  next  morn 
ing,  Burton  came  downstairs  with  that  ex 
actness  which  even  the  most  careless  man  can  dis 
play  in  regard  to  his  favorite  sport.  The  rigors 
of  the  cub-hunting  season  being  over,  the  meet 
did  not  take  place  until  eight. 

Cora  was  not  yet  ready  for  breakfast,  and  Crane 
went  to  fill  his  cigarette  case  before  starting. 

The  drawing-room  was  still  dark  and  in  dis 
order.  Crane  lit  a  match  to  find  his  way  to  the 
table  where  the  tobacco  was  kept.  It  was  the 
same  table  on  which  had  lain  the  miniature  of  the 
lady  in  the  mauve  ball  dress ;  and  as  he  held  up  his 
lighted  match,  his  eyes  sought  once  more  that  en 
chanting  pearl  circle.  The  flame  died  down  and 
burned  his  fingers  before  his  eyes  had  encountered 
what  they  were  looking  for.  He  lit  a  second 
match,  and  then  a  candle,  before  he  could  assure 
himself  that  the  miniature  was  really  gone. 

He  sprang  into  the  hall  and  called :  "  Smith- 
104 


COME  OUT  OF  'THE  KITCHEN ! 

field!  "  with  a  violence  that  had  little  respect  for 
late  sleepers. 

Smithfield  came  hurrying  out  of  the  dining- 
room. 

"  Where  's  the  miniature  that  used  to  be  on  this 
table?" 

"The  what  is  it,  sir?" 

"  The  miniature,  a  picture  in  a  pearl  frame." 

Smithfield  looked  thoughtful. 

"  And  what  was  it  a  picture  of,  sir?  " 

"  Of  a  lady." 

"  In  a  black  lace  cap,  and  she  with  white  hair, 
sir?" 

"  No,"  said  Crane,  "  she  was  young  and  lovely, 
in  a  ball  dress  and  a  wreath.  You  must  remember 
it.  It  was  here  yesterday." 

Smithfield  shook  his  head  blankly. 

"  No,  sir,"  he  said,  "  I  can't  rightly  say  that  I 
remember  it,  but  I  '11  inquire  for  it." 

Crane  swore  with  an  uncontrollable  irritation 
—  irritation  at  Smithfield  for  being  so  stupid,  irri 
tation  that  he  himself  had  been  so  careless  as  to 
leave  the  picture  about  among  a  houseful  of  un 
known  servants. 

105 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

He  was  not  distracted  even  by  the  sight  of  Cora 
coming  downstairs,  looking  very  workmanlike  in 
her  habit  with  her  hat  well  down  over  her  brows, 
and  her  boots,  over  which  Brindlebury  had  evi 
dently  expended  himself,  showing  off  her  slender 
feet. 

They  breakfasted  alone;  but  Burton's  mind  ran 
on  the  loss  of  the  miniature,  and  he  did  not  really 
recover  his  temper  until  he  had  mounted  Cora, 
found  all  the  straps  of  her  skirt,  adjusted  her 
stirrup,  loosened  the  curb  for  her,  and  finally 
swung  himself  up  on  his  own  hunter,  a  big  ugly 
chestnut. 

The  meet  was  near-by  and  they  were  going  to 
jog  quietly  over  to  it.  They  took  a  short  cut 
across  the  lawn,  and  at  the  sight  of  the  turf,  at  the 
smell  of  the  fresh  clear  morning,  the  horses  began 
to  dance  as  spontaneously  as  children  will  at  the 
sound  of  a  street  organ.  Crane  and  Cora  glanced 
at  each  other  and  laughed  at  this  exhibition  of  high 
spirits  on  the  part  of  their  darlings. 

No  horseman  is  proof  against  the  pleasure  of 
seeing  one  of  his  treasured  animals  well  shown  by 
its  rider;  and  the  Irish  mare  had  never  looked  as 

106 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

well  as  she  now  did  under  Cora's  skilful  manage 
ment.  He  told  her  so,  praising  her  hands,  her 
appearance,  her  understanding  of  the  horse's 
mind;  and  she,  very  fittingly,  replied  with  flattery 
of  the  mare  and  of  Crane's  own  remarkable 
powers  of  selection. 

They  were  getting  on  so  well  that  Burton  found' 
himself  saying  earnestly: 

"  You  really  must  stay  on  as  long  as  I  do,  Cora. 
Don't  let  your  mother  take  you  away,  as  she  wants 
to." 

The  girl's  surprise  actually  checked  the  mare  in 
her  stride. 

"  My  mother  is  thinking  of  going  away?  "  she 
cried. 

Well,  of  course,  he  wanted  her  to  stay,  wanted 
her,  even,  to  want  to  stay,  but  somehow  he  did 
not  want  her  to  be  so  much  terrified  at  the  thought 
of  departure,  did  not  want  her  blac^c  eyes  to  open 
upon  him  with  such  manifest  horror  at  the  bare 
idea  of  departure. 

He  suggested  sending  the  horses  along  a  little, 
and  they  cantered  side  by  side  on  the  grass  at  the 
roadside.  Crane  kept  casting  the  glances  of  a 

107 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

lover,  not  at  Cora,  but  at  the  black  mare,  as  she 
arched  her  neck  to  a  light  touch  on  the  curb,  so 
that  the  sunlight  ran  in  iridescent  colors  along  her 
crest. 

Presently  they  saw  two  horsemen  ahead  of 
them,  one  of  them  in  that  weather-stained  pink 
that,  to  hunting  eyes,  makes  the  most  beautiful 
piece  of  color  imaginable  against  the  autumn  fields. 

"  That 's  Eliot,  the  Master,"  cried  Crane. 
"  The  hounds  must  be  just  ahead.  He  's  a  nice 
old  fellow;  let 's  join  him.  I  can't  make  out  who 
the  other  one  is  —  no.  one  who  was  out  the  last 
time  we  hunted." 

The  canter  had  given  Cora  a  color.  She  looked 
straight  before  her  for  a  moment,  and  then  she 
said: 

"  I  think  I  recognize  that  other  man." 

"Who  is  it?" 

"  Some  one  I  should  like  you  to  know,  Burt. 
His  name  is  Lefferts." 

The  lane  was  now  too  narrow  for  four  to  ride 
abreast.  Crane  drew  Eliot  to  his  side.  He 
wanted  to  ask  him  about  the  Crosslett-Billingtons, 
for  since  the  disappearance  of  the  miniature,  he 

1 08 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

had  made  up  his  mind  to  investigate  the  references 
of  his  staff.  But  strange  to  say,  Eliot  had  never 
heard  of  the  Billingtons,  of  their  collection  of 
tapestry,  or  their  villa  at  Capri.  He  wished  to 
talk  of  the  Revellys. 

"  A  great  loss  they  are  to  the  county,  Crane, 
though,  of  course,  we  gain  you.  I  wonder  where 
they  are.  Gone  North,  I  heard,  though  I  thought 
I  saw  one  of  the  boys  out  the  morning  of  the  day 
you  came.  The  Revellys  will  hunt  anything,  from 
a  plow-horse  to  a  thoroughbred.  Hard  up,  you 
know.  Glad  they  consented  to  rent  their  house. 
Did  n't  suppose  they  ever  would.  Too  proud, 
you  know.  They  have  things  in  it  of  immense 
value.  Portrait  of  the  grandfather,  Marshall 
Revelly.  Second  in  command  to  Stonewall 
Jackson  at  one  time.  I  'd  like  to  have  you  know 
them.  Paul,  the  elder  brother,  is  a  man  of  some 
ability;  may  make  his  mark.  And  the  younger 
daughter,  Miss  Claudia  Revelly — "  Do  what 
he  would,  Eliot's  voice  changed  slightly  in  pro 
nouncing  the  name.  " —  Miss  Claudia  is  one  of 
our  great  beauties,  the  recipient  of  a  great  deal  of 
attention.  Why,  sir,  last  summer,  when  Daniel 

109 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

W.  Williams,  the  Governor-elect  of  this  State, 
saw  Miss  Claudia  at — " 

But  the  story,  in  which,  to  be  candid,  Crane  did 
not  take  a  great  deal  of  interest,  was  interrupted 
by  Cora  who  pushed  her  mare  forward  in  order  to 
attract  Crane's  attention  and  to  introduce  him  to 
her  companion. 

The  young  man  was  extraordinarily  good-look 
ing.  His  eyes  were  a  strange  greenish-brown 
color,  like  the  water  in  the  dock  of  a  city  ferry;  his 
skin  was  ivory  in  hue  and  as  smooth  as  a  woman's, 
but  his  hands  and  a  certain  decisiveness  of  gesture 
were  virile  in  the  extreme. 

"  We  ought  to  have  a  good  run,"  said  Crane,  in 
order  to  say  something. 

"  If  any  run  can  be  good,"  answered  the  young 
man. 

"  You  don't  like  hunting?  " 

"  I  hate  anything  to  do  with  horses,"  answered 
Lefferts,  plaintively.  "  You  must  admit  they 
are  particularly  unintelligent  animals.  If  they 
were  n't,  of  course  they  would  n't  let  u's  bully 
them  and  ride  them  about,  when  they  could  do  any 
thing  they  wanted  with  us.  No,  I  only  do  it  be- 

no 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

cause  she,"  he  nodded  toward  Miss  Falkener, 
"  makes  me." 

Cora,  looking  very  handsome,  laughed. 

"  He  's  a  poet,"  she  said. 

"  Is  that  why  he  has  to  hunt?"  asked  Crane, 
and  he  wondered  if  poetry  had  anything  to  do  with 
the  excellence  of  the  young  man's  coat  and  boots. 

"  Yes,  poets  have  to  be  athletic  nowadays. 
It 's  the  fashion,  and  a  very  good  one,  too." 

"  There  are  other  forms  of  athletics  I  don't  hate 
nearly  as  much,"  Lefferts  went  on  to  Crane, 
"  swimming,  for  instance,  and  sailing,  and  even 
walking  is  n't  so  bad.  It  does  n't  need  so  much 
preparation,  and  getting  up  early  in  the  morning, 
and  all  that  sort  of  thing." 

"  Fortunately,  I  know  what 's  best  for  him," 
said  Cora. 

"  She  makes  me  think  she  does,"  said  the  poet, 
still  plaintively. 

Crane  wanted  to  ask  Cora  where  and  how  she 
had  acquired  this  rather  agreeable  responsibility, 
but  he  had  no  opportunity  before  they  were  off. 

He  and  Cora  started  together,  less,  perhaps, 
from  chivalry  on  Burton's  part  than  because  of  his 

in 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

desire  to  watch  the  performance  of  the  mare,  but 
in  the  course  of  the  run  they  became  separated,  and 
he  finally  jogged  home  alone. 

He  dismounted  in  the  stable-yard  and  stood 
watching  one  of  the  grooms  loosening  the  saddle- 
girths,  while  he  and  the  head  man  discussed  the  ex 
cellent  conduct  of  his  own  horses  as  compared 
with  the  really  pitiable  showing  of  other  people's, 
and  debated  whether  the  wretched  deterioration  in 
a  certain  Canadian  bay  horse  ridden  that  day  by 
the  Master  of  Hounds  was  owing  to  naturally 
poor  conformation  on  the  part  of  the  horse,  or 
deplorable  lack  of  judgment  on  the  part  of  the 
rider. 

In  the  midst  of  these  absorbing  topics,  Crane 
suddenly  became  aware  that  Smithfield  was  wait 
ing  for  him  at  the  gateway.  He  stopped  short  in 
what  he  was  saying. 

"  You  wanted  to  speak  to  me,  Smithfield?  " 

"  When  you  Ve  finished,  sir." 

Crane  had  finished,  he  said,  and  turned  in  the 
direction  of  the  house  with  the  butler  at  his  side. 

"  There  's  been  a  terrible  disturbance  at  the 
house,  sir,  since  you  went  out  this  morning." 

112 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Oh,  my  powers !  "  cried  Burton.  "  What  has 
been  happening  now?  " 

Smithfield  was  stepping  along,  throwing  out 
his  feet  and  resting  on  the  ball  of  his  foot  with 
the  walk  that  Mrs.  Falkener  had  so  much  ad 
mired. 

'  Well,  sir,"  he  said,  "  the  trouble  has  been  be 
tween  Mr.  Tucker  and  Brindlebury." 

Crane  groaned. 

"  I  don't  defend  the  boy,  sir.  I  fear  he  forgot 
his  place." 

"  Look  here,  Smithfield,"  said  Crane,  "  can 
didly,  now,  what  is  the  matter  with  all  of  you? 
You  know  you  really  are  a  very  queer  lot." 

Thus  appealed  to,  Smithfield  considered. 

"  Well,  sir,"  he  said,  "  I  think  the  trouble  — 
as  much  as  any  one  thing  is  the  trouble  —  is  that 
we  're  young,  and  servants  ought  n't  to  be  young. 
They  should  be  strong,  healthy,  hard  working,  but 
not  young;  for  youth  means  impulses,  hopes  of  im 
provement,  love  of  enjoyment,  all  qualities  serv 
ants  must  not  have."  The  man  spoke  entirely 
without  bitterness,  and  Crane  turning  to  him  said 
suddenly : 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Smithfield,  what  do  you  think  about  class  dis 
tinctions?  " 

For  the  first  time,  Smithfield  smiled. 

"  I  think,  sir,"  he  said,  "  that  if  they  were  done 
away  with,  I  should  lose  my  job." 

"  Well,  by  heaven,  if  I  were  you,  then,"  cried 
Crane,  with  unusual  feeling,  "  I  'd  get  a  job  that 
was  n't  dependent  on  a  lie,  for  if  I  believe  any 
thing  it  is  that  all  these  dissimilarities  between  rich 
and  poor,  and  men  and  women,  and  black  and 
white,  are  pretty  trivial  as  compared  with  their 
similarities.  It 's  my  opinion  we  are  all  very 
much  alike,  Smithfield,"  and  Crane,  as  he  spoke, 
was  astonished  at  the  passion  for  democracy  that 
stirred  within  him. 

"  That,  sir,"  replied  Smithfield,  "  if  you  forgive 
my  saying  it,  is  the  attitude  toward  democracy  of 
some  one  who  has  always  been  at  the  top.  There 
must  be  distinctions,  must  n't  there,  sir,  and  you 
would  probably  say  that  the  ideal  distinction  was 
along  the  line  of  merit  —  that  every  one  should 
have  the  place  in  the  world  that  he  deserves.  But, 
dear  me,  sir,  that  would  be  very  cruel.  So  many 
of  us  would  then  be  face  to  face  with  our  own  in- 

114 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

feriority.  Now,  as  things  are,  I  can  think  that 
it 's  only  outside  conditions  that  are  keeping  me 
down,  and  that  I  should  make  as  good  or  even  bet 
ter  a  master,  begging  your  pardon,  than  you,  sir. 
But  under  a  true  democracy,  if  I  were  still  in  an  in 
ferior  position,  I  should  have  to  admit  I  belonged 
there,  which  I  don't  admit  at  all  now,  not  at 
all." 

"  But  how  about  my  not  admitting  that  I  'm  a 
master?"  said  Crane. 

"  In  one  sense,  perhaps  you  are  not,  sir,"  an 
swered  Smithfield.  "  For,  after  all,  some  training 
is  necessary  to  be  a  servant,  particularly  a  butler, 
but  for  the  exercise  of  the  functions  of  the  higher 
classes,  no  training  at  all  seems  to  be  required. 
Curious,  isn't  it,  sir?  Utterly  unskilled  labor  is 
found  only  among  the  very  rich  and  the  very 
poor." 

The  conversation  had  brought  them  to  the 
house,  without  the  case  of  Brindlebury  having  been 
further  discussed.  Suddenly  realizing  this,  Crane 
stopped  at  the  foot  of  the  steps. 

"  Now,  what  is  it  that 's  happened?  "  he  asked. 

Smithfield  showed  some  embarrassment. 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  I  'm  afraid,  sir,"  he  said,  "  that  some  rather 
hot  words  passed.  In  fact  —  I  do  so  much  regret 
it,  sir,  but  I  fear  Brindlebury  actually  raised  his 
hand  against  Mr.  Tucker." 

It  was  a  triumph  of  self-control  that  not  a 
muscle  of  Burton's  face  quivered  at  this  intelli 
gence. 

"  If  that  is  true,"  he  said,  "  the  boy  will  have  to 
go,  of  course." 

"  I  had  hoped  you  might  wish  to  hear  both 
sides,  sir." 

"  No,"  answered  Crane.  "  I  might  hear  what 
Brindlebury  had  to  say,  or  I  might  understand 
without  hearing,  or  I  might  know  that  I  should 
have  done  the  same  in  his  place,  or,  even,  going  a 
step  farther,  I  might  think  him  right  to  have  done 
it,  but  the  fact  remains  that  I  can't  keep  a  servant 
who  strikes  a  guest  of  mine.  That 's  a  class  dis 
tinction,  Smithfield,  but  there  it  is." 

Smithfield  bowed. 

"  If  I  might  suggest,  sir,  perhaps  you  do  not 
understand  rightly  how  Mr.  Tucker  — " 

"  Nothing  like  that,  SmithfielcL  Tell  the  boy 
to  go,  go  this  afternoon.  Pay  him  what 's  right 

116 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

and  get  him  out.,"  He  ran  up  the  steps,  but  turned 
half-way  and  added  with  a  smile:  "And  you 
know  there  really  is  n't  anything  you  could  tell  me 
about  Mr.  Tucker  that  I  have  n't  known  a  great 
deal  longer  than  any  of  you  have." 

He  went  in.  Tucker  and  Mrs.  Falkener  were 
sitting  side  by  side  in  the  drawing-room,  with  that 
unmistakable  air  of  people  who  expect,  and  have  a 
right  to  expect,  that  they  should  be  given  an  op 
portunity  to  tell  their  troubles.  The  only  revenge 
that  Crane  permitted  himself,  if  indeed  revenge 
can  be  used  to  describe  so  mild  a  punishment,  was 
that  he  continued  to  ignore  their  perfectly  obvious 
grumpiness. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  "  you  look  cozy.  Hope 
you  Ve  had  as  good  a  day  as  we  have." 

Tucker  opened  his  mouth  to  say  "  We  have 
not,"  but  Crane  was  already  in  full  description  of 
the  run,  undaunted  by  the  fact  that  neither  of  his 
listeners,  if  they  were  indeed  listeners,  could  be 
induced  to  manifest  enough  interest  in  his  story  to 
meet  his  eye. 

"  I  'm  glad  some  one  has  enjoyed  the  day,"  said 
Tucker,  as  Crane  paused  to  light  a  cigarette.  He 

117 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

laid  an  unmistakable  emphasis  on  the  words  "  some 
one." 

Crane  patted  him  on  the  shoulder. 

"Thanks,  Tuck,"  he  said;  "I  believe  that's 
true.  I  believe  you  are  glad.  Yes,  we  had  a 
good  day  —  three  foxes,  and  your  daughter,  Mrs. 
Falkener,  went  like  a  bird.  She  's  a  wonderful 
horsewoman  —  not  only  looks  well  herself,  but 
makes  the  horse  look  well,  too." 

At  this  Mrs.  Falkener's  manner  grew  distinctly 
more  cheerful,  and  she  asked: 

"  And,  by  the  way,  where  is  Cora?  " 

Tucker,  annoyed  at  the  desertion  on  the  part  of 
his  ally,  pressed  his  hand  over  his  eyes  and  sighed 
audibly,  but  no  one  noticed  him. 

"  I  took  a  wrong  turn  in  search  of  a  short 
cut  and  lost  the  rest  of  them,"  said  Crane. 
"  But  she  '11  be  back  directly.  She  's  perfectly 
safe.  She  was  with  Eliot,  our  neighbor,  and 
a  fellow  named  Lefferts,  whom  she  seemed  to 
know." 

"Lefferts!"  cried  Mrs.  Falkener.  "That 
man  here!  O  Burton,  how  could  you  leave 
my  daughter  in  such  company?  O  Solon, 

118 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

you    remember    I    told   you    about    that   man ! " 
Tucker  nodded  shortly.     He  was  n't  going  to 

take  any  interest  in  any  one's  grievances  until  his 

own  had  been  disposed  of. 

"What's    the    matter    with    Lefferts? "    said 

Crane.     "  He  's    staying    with    Eliot,    and    they 

asked  us  all  over  to  lunch  to-morrow.     Shan't  we 

go?" 

"  No,  nowhere  that  that  young  man  is,"  cried 
Mrs!  Falkener,  who  seemed  to  be  a  good  deal  ex 
cited  by  the  news.  "  He  's  an  idler,  a  waster. 
Why,  Burton,"  she  ended  in  a  magnificent  climax, 
"he's  a  poet!" 

"  So  Cora  told  me." 

"  He  affects  to  be  devoted  to  Cora,"  her  mother 
went  on  bitterly,  "  and  follows  her  about  every 
where,  without  the  slightest  encouragement  on  her 
part,  I  can  assure  you,  but  I  have  known  him  to 
take  a  most  insolent  tone  about  her.  The  very 
first  time  I  ever  saw  him,  he  was  sitting  beside  me 
at  a  party,  and  I  said,  as  Cora  came  across  the 
room  with  that  magnificent  walk  of  hers,  '  She 
moves  like  a  full-rigged  ship,  does  n't  she  ?  '  He 
answered :  *  Or  rather,  more  like  a  submarine ; 

119 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

you  never  know  where  she  '11  pop  up  next.  Yes, 
there  's  a  sort  of  practical  mystery  about  Cora 
very  suitable  to  modern  warfare.'  He  called  her 
Cora  behind  her  back,  but  not  to  her  face,  be  sure. 
And  very  soon  a  poem  of  his  appeared  in  one 
of  the  magazines  — '  To  My  Love,  Comparing 
Her  to  a  Submarine.'  I  thought  it  most  insult- 
ing." 

"  And  what  did  Cora  think?  "  asked  Crane. 

"  She  hardly  read  the  thing  through.  Cora  is 
far  too  sensible  to  pay  much  attention  to  po 
etry." 

"  But  poets  are  different,  I  suppose,"  answered 
Crane.  Personally,  he  was  pleased  with  the  sub 
marine  simile. 

"  No,  nor  poets,  either,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener. 
tartly,  and  rising  she  hurried  away  to  see  if  by 
some  fortunate  chance  her  errant  daughter  had 
returned  without  letting  her  know. 

Left  alone,  Crane  decided  to  give  his  friend  his 
long-desired  chance. 

"  Well,  Tuck,"  he  said,  "  you  look  in  fine 
form.  What  have  you  been  doing  since  I  went 


away? 


120 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  I  have  not  had  a  very  agreeable  day,"  said 
Tucker,  in  a  voice  so  low  and  deep  that  it  was  al 
most  a  growl. 

"No?  Not  a  return  of  your  old  dyspepsia, 
I  hope,"  said  Crane. 

Tucker  shook  his  head  impatiently. 

"  At  breakfast,"  he  said,  "  I  heard  from  Mrs. 
Falkener,  who  had  heard  from  her  daughter,  that 
you  had  observed  the  loss  of  the  miniature  that 
used  to  lie  on  this  table.  Such  things  cannot  be 
taken  lightly,  Burton.  The  owners  might  put  al 
most  any  price  on  an  article  of  that  kind  — 
wretched  as  it  was,  as  a  work  of  art  —  and  you 
would  be  forced  to  pay.  You  see,  it  could  not  be 
replaced.  I  thought  it  my  duty,  therefore,  to 
send  for  each  of  the  servants  and  question  them  on 
the  subject." 

"  You  thought  it  your  duty  to  send  for  Jane- 
Ellen,  Tuck?" 

Again  Tucker  frowned. 

"  I  said  I  sent  for  all  of  the  servants.  Smith- 
field  displayed,  to  my  mind,  a  most  suspicious  igno 
rance  and  indifference  to  the  whole  subject.  The 
housemaid  was  so  hysterical  and  frightened  that  if 

121 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

I  did  not  know  a  great  deal  of  such  cases,  I  should 
suspect  her  — " 

"And  was  the  cook  frightened?"  said  Crane, 
with  a  flicker  of  a  smile. 

"  No,"  Tucker  explained,  "  she  did  not  appear 
to  be  frightened,  but  then,  I  may  tell  you  that  I 
do  not  suspect  the  cook  of  complicity  in  the  theft." 

"The  deuce  you  don't!"  said  Crane.  He 
found  himself  suddenly  annoyed  without  reason, 
that  Tucker  should  have  been  interviewing  and 
questioning  his  servants  during  his  absence;  stir 
ring  up  trouble,  he  said  to  himself,  and  perhaps 
hurting  the  feelings  of  a  perfectly  good  cook. 
Suppose  she  had  decided  to  leave  as  a  result  of 
these  activities  of  Solon's!  He  found  he  had 
not  been  listening  to  the  account  his  friend  was 
giving  of  the  conversation,  until  he  heard  him 
say: 

"  It  seems  Jane-Ellen  had  never  been  in  this 
room  before;  she  was  very  much  interested  in 
everything.  I  saw  her  looking  at  that  splendid 
portrait  of  General  Revelly,  and  she  asked  —  in 
fact,  she  made  me  give  her  quite  a  little  account 
of  his  life  — " 

122 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  A  little  lecture  on  the  Civil  War,  eh?  "  said 
Crane.  ' 

His  tone  was  not  wholly  friendly  and  Tucker 
did  not  find  it  so.  He  colored. 

"  Really,  Burton,"  he  said,  coldly,  "  in  case  of 
crime,  or  of  theft,  a  man's  lawyer  is  usually  sup 
posed  to  know  what  it  is  best  to  do." 

"  Possibly,  but  I  see  no  point  in  having  dragged 
the  cook  into  it." 

"  I  see  even  less  point  in  treating  her  on  a  dif 
ferent  plane  from  any  of  the  other  servants." 

"  It  almost  seems,  Tuck,  as  if  you  enjoyed  your 
constant  interviews  with  her." 

"  That  is  just,  I  regret  to  say,  Burton,  what 
I  was  thinking  about  you." 

"  It  seems  to  me,"  said  Crane,  "  that  this  dis 
cussion  is  not  leading  anywhere,  and  might  as  well 
end." 

"  One  moment,"  exclaimed  the  other,  "  my 
story  is  not  finished.  When  it  came  to  be  the  turn 
of  that  boy  Brindlebury,  in  whom  I  may  as  well 
tell  you  I  have  no  confidence  whatever,  his  manner 
was  so  insolent,  his  refusal  to  answer  my  ques 
tions  so  suspicious  —  Well,  to  make  a  long  story 

123 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

short,  your  boot-boy,  Burton,  attempted  to  knock 
me  down,  and  I  had,  of  course,  to  put  him  out  of 
the  room.  The  situation  is  perfectly  simple.  I 
must  ask  you  either  to  dismiss  him,  or  to  order 
the  motor  to  take  me  to  the  train." 

There  was  a  short  pause,  during  which  Crane 
very  deliberately  lit  a  cigarette.  Then  he  said  in 
a  level  tone : 

"  The  boy  is  already  dismissed.  He  is  out  of 
the  house  at  this  moment,  probably.  As  to  the 
other  alternative  —  the  ordering  the  motor  —  I 
will,  of  course,  do  that,  too,  if  you  insist." 

But  Tucker  did  not  insist. 

"  On  the  contrary,"  he  said,  "  you  have  done 
all  I  could  desire  —  more,  indeed,  for  you  have 
evidently  decided  against  the  boy  before  you  even 
heard  my  side  of  the  case." 

"  One  cannot  always  decide  these  cases  with 
regard  for  eternal  justice,"  said  Crane. 

Before  Tucker  could  inquire  just  what  was 
meant  by  this  rather  disagreeable  pronounce 
ment,  Smithfield  appeared  in  the  doorway  to  say 
that  Jane-Ellen  would  be  glad  if  she  might  speak 
to  Mr.  Crane  for  a  moment. 

124 


Jane-Ellen 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

This  was  what  Crane  had  dreaded;  she  was 
going  to  leave.  His  anger  against  Tucker  flared 
up  again,  but  he  said,  with  apparent  calmness, 
that  Jane-Ellen  might  come  in.  Tucker  should 
see  for  himself  the  effect  of  his  meddling.  Tucker 
suggested  in  a  sort  of  half-hearted  way  that  he 
would  go  away,  but  his  host  told  him,  shortly,  to 
remain. 

Jane-Ellen  entered.  There  was  no  doubt  but 
that  she  was  displeased  with  the  presence  of  a 
third  party.  She  made  a  little  bob  of  a  curtsy  and 
started  for  the  door. 

;<  I  '11  come  back  when  you  're  alone,  sir." 

"  No,"  said  Crane.  "  Anything  you  have  to 
say  can  be  said  before  Mr.  Tucker." 

"  Oh,  of  course,  sir."  But  her  tone  lacked  con 
viction.  "  I  wanted  to  speak  about  Brindlebury. 
He  is  very  sorry  for  what  happened,  sir.  I  wish 
you  could  see  your  way  — " 

"  I  can't,"  said  Crane. 

Jane-Ellen  glanced  at  Tucker  under  her  eye 
lashes. 

"  I  know,  sir,"  she  went  on,  "  that  there  could 
be  no  excuse  for  the  way  he  has  acted,  but  if  any 

127 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

excuse  was  possible,  it  did  seem — "  She  hesi 
tated. 

"  You  wish  to  say,"  interrupted  Burton  who 
now  felt  he  did  not  care  what  he  said  to  any  one, 
"  that  Mr.  Tucker  was  extremely  pro-yoking.  I 
have  no  doubt,  but  that  has  nothing  to  do  with 
it." 

"  Really,  Burton,"  observed  his  guest,  "  I  don't 
think  that  that  is  the  way  to  speak  of  me, 
particularly,"  he  added  firmly,  "  to  a  ser 
vant." 

"  It 's  sometimes  a  good  idea  to  speak  the  truth, 
even  to  servants,  Solon,"  returned  Crane.  '  You 
are  provoking,  and  no  one  knows  it  better  than  I 
have  known  it  during  the  past  fifteen  minutes. 
But  your  powers  of  being  provoking  have  noth 
ing  to  do  with  the  matter,  except  theoretically. 
The  boy  has  got  to  go.  I  want  him  to  be  out  of 
the  house  within  an  hour.  That 's  all  there  is  to 
the  whole  question,  Jane-Ellen." 

"  But,  oh,  sir,  if  he  is  sorry  — " 

"  I  doubt  very  much  if  he  is  sorry." 

"Oh,  why,  sir?" 

"  Because  I  feel  sure  that  in  his  place  I 
128 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

should  n't  be  sorry  in  the  least,  except  for  having 
failed  — if  he  did  fail." 

"  I  know  it 's  a  great  liberty,  sir,  but  I  do  wish 
you  could  give  him  another  chance."  Her  look 
was  extraordinarily  appealing. 

"  What  in  the  world  is  Brindlebury  to  you, 
Jane-Ellen?" 

"  Did  n't  Mr.  Tucker  tell  you,  sir?  He  's  my 
brother." 

"No,  he  did  n't  tell  me.  Did  you  know  he  was 
Jane-Ellen's  brother,  Solon?" 

"  Brin  told  him,  himself,  sir."  She  was  a  lit 
tle  overeager. 

Tucker  frowned. 

'  Yes,  I  believe  the  boy  did  say  something  to 
that  effect.  I  own  I  was  not  much  interested  in 
the  fact,  and  I  can't  say  I  think  it  has  any  bearing 
on  the  present  situation." 

Crane  was  silent  for  an  instant.     Then  he  said : 

"  No,  it  has  n't.  He  's  got  to  go,"  and  then  he 
added,  quite  clearly,  and  looking  at  his  cook  very 
directly : 

"  But  I  am  sorry,  Jane-Ellen,  not  to  be  able  to 
do  anything  that  you  ask  me  to  do." 

129 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

She  looked  back  at  him  for  an  instant,  with  a 
sort  of  imperishable  sweetness,  and  then  went 
sadly  out  of  the  room. 

Between  Crane  and  his  legal  adviser  no  further 
words  were  exchanged. 

Crane  went  and  took  out  one  of  the  motors 
and  rushed  at  a  high  rate  of  speed  over  the  coun 
try,  frightening  one  or  two  sedate  black  mules, 
the  only  other  travelers  on  the  roads,  and  sooth 
ing  his  own  irritation  by  the  rapidity  of  the  mo 
tion. 

More  and  more  he  regretted  not  having  been 
able  to  grant  the  favor  Jane-Ellen  had  so  engag 
ingly  asked,  more  and.  more  he  felt  inclined  to  be 
lieve  that  in  Brindlebury's  place  he  would  have 
done  the  same  thing,  more  and  more  did  he  feel 
disposed  to  fasten  upon  Tucker  all  the  disagree- 
ableness  of  the  situation. 


130 


VII 

HE  did  not  get  back  until  almost  dinner  time: 
The  meal  was  not  an  agreeable  one,  though 
Jane-Ellen's  part  of  the  performance  was  no  less 
perfectly  achieved  than  usual.  It  was  evident 
that  there  had  been  a  scene  between  the  two  ladies. 
Cora's  eyes  were  distinctly  red,  and  though  Mrs. 
Falkener's  bore  no  such  evidence,  she  looked  more 
haggard  than  was  her  wont.  Tucker  was  still 
feeling  somewhat  imposed  upon,  Smithfield's  man 
ner  suggested  a  dignified  rebuke,  Crane  felt  no  in 
clination  to  lighten  the  general  tone,  and  alto 
gether  the  occasion  was  dreary  in  the  extreme. 

As  soon  as  they  had  had  coffee,  Cora  sat  down 
at  the  piano,  and  drawing  Burton  to  her  by  a  re 
quest  for  more  light,  she  whispered : 

"Won't  you  take  me  out  in  the  garden?  I 
have  something  I  must  say  to  you." 

Crane  acquiesced.  It  was  a  splendid,  misty 
November  night.  The  moonlight  was  of  that 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

sea-green  color  which,  so  often  represented  on 
the  stage,  is  seldom  seen  in  nature.  The  moon 
concealed  the  bareness  of  the  garden-beds,  lent  a 
suggestion  of  mystery  to  the  thickets  of  what  had 
once  been  flowering  shrubs,  and  made  the  columns 
of  the  piazza,  which  in  the  daytime  showed  them 
selves  most  plainly  to  be  but  ill-painted  wood,  ap 
pear  almost  like  the  marble  portico  of  an  Ionic 
temple. 

The  air  was  so  still  that  from  the  stables,  al 
most  a  quarter  of  a  mile  away,  they  could  hear 
the  sound  of  one  of  the  horses  kicking  in  its  stall, 
and  the  tune  that  a  groom  was  rather  unskilfully 
deducing  from  a  concertina. 

Crane  whistled  the  air  softly  as  he  strolled 
along  by  his  companion's  side,  until  she  stopped 
and  said  with  great  intensity: 

"  I  want  to  say  something  to  you,  Burton. 
I  'm  not  happy.  I  'm  horribly  distressed.  I 
ought  not  to  say  what  I  'm  going  to  say,  at  least 
the  general  idea  seems  to  be  that  girls  should  n't 
—  but  I  have  a  feeling  that  you  're  really  my 
friend,  a  friend  to  whom  I  can  speak  frankly  even 
about  things  that  concern  me." 

132 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  You  make  no  mistake  there,  Cora,"  he  re 
turned. 

He  was  what  is  considered  a  brave  man,  with 
calm  nerves  and  quick  judgment;  physical  danger 
had  a  certain  stimulating  effect  upon  him;  morally, 
too,  he  did  not  lack  courage;  though  good-na 
turedly  inclined  to  have  everything  as  pleasant  as 
possible,  he  was  not  in  the  least  afraid  to  make 
himself  disagreeable.  But  now,  at  the  thought 
of  what  Miss  Falkener  was  going  to  say  to  him, 
he  was  frankly  and  unmistakably  terrified.  Why, 
he  asked  himself?  Young  and  timid  girls  could 
go  through  such  scenes  and,  it  was  said,  actually 
enjoy  them.  Why  should  he  be  unreasoningly 
terrified  —  terrified  with  the  same  instinctive  de 
sire  to  run  away  that  some  people  feel  when  they 
see  snakes  or  spiders?  Why  should  he  feel  as  if 
prison  walls  were  closing  about  him  ? 

'  Two  years  ago,  when  you  and  I  first  began  to 
see  each  other,"  Miss  Falkener  went  on,  in  a 
voice  that  she  kept  dropping  lower  and  lower  in 
order  to  conceal  its  tremors,  "  I  liked  you  at  once, 
Burton.  I  liked  you  very  much.  But,  aside 
from  that  —  you  know,  I  'm  not  always  very 

133 


happy  with  my  mother,  aside  from  liking  you, 
I  made  up  mind  in  the  most  cold-blooded, 
mercenary  way,  that  the  best  thing  I  could  do  was 
to  marry  you." 

"  Well,  I  call  that  a  thoroughly  kind  thought," 
said  Crane,  smiling  at  her,  as  a  martyr  might  make 
a  little  joke  about  the  lions. 

"  It  was  n't  kind,"  said  Cora.  "  It  was  just 
selfish.  I  supposed  I  would  be  able  to  make  you 
happy,  but  really,  I  thought  very  little  about  you 
in  the  matter.  I  was  thinking  only  of  myself. 
But  I  Ve  been  well  repaid  for  it  — "  She 
stopped,  almost  with  a  sob;  and  while  she  was  si 
lently  struggling  for  sufficient  self-control  to  con 
tinue,  Crane  became  aware  that  the  front  door 
had  opened,  letting  a  sudden  shaft  of  yellow  light 
fall  upon  them  through  the  green  moonshine,  and 
that  Tucker  had  come  out  on  the  piazza.  He 
was  looking  about;  he  was  looking  for  them. 
Not  a  sound  did  Burton  make,  but  if  concentration 
of  thought  has  any  unseen  power,  he  drew  Tuck 
er's  gaze  to  them. 

"  Burton,"  said  Tucker. 

There  was  no  answer. 

134 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Burton !  "  he  called  again. 

Miss  Falkener  raised  her  head. 

"  Some  one  called  you,"  she  said. 

Then  Crane's  figure  became  less  rigid,  and  he 
moved  a  step  forward.  He  was  saved  for  the 
time,  at  least. 

'  Want  me,  Tuck?  "  he  said. 

Solon  came  down  the  steps  carefully.  He  had 
reached  an  age  when  the  eye  does  not  quickly  ad 
just  itself  to  changes  of  light. 

"Yes,"  he  said,  "  I  do  want  to  see  you.  I 
want  to  ask  you  one  question.  Did  you  or  did 
you  not  assure  me  the  boy  Brindlebury  had  left 
the  house?  " 

"  I  did  so  assure  you,"  answered  Crane,  "  and 
I  had  been  so  foolish  as  to  hope  we  had 
heard  the  last  of  him.  Smithfield  told  me  be 
fore  dinner  that  he  left  early  in  the  after 
noon." 

"  Smithfield  lied  to  you.  The  boy  is  in  bed 
in  his  own  room  at  this  moment." 

"  How  do  you  know?  " 

"  Go  and  see  for  yourself." 

Crane  was  just  angry  enough  at  every  one  to 

135 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  I 

welcome  any  action.  Only  a  few  seconds  elapsed 
before  he  was  in  the  servants'  wing  of  the  house. 
All  the  doors  were  standing  open,  disclosing  black 
darkness,  except  one  which  was  closed,  and  under 
this  a  bright  streak  was  visible. 

Crane  flung  himself  upon  this,  thinking  it  would 
be  locked,  but  evidently  Brindlebury  had  not 
thought  any  such  precaution  necessary.  The 
door  at  once  yielded,  and  Crane  entered. 

Brindlebury,  fully  dressed,  was  lying  flat  on  his 
back  on  the  bed,  with  his  legs  crossed  in  the  air; 
a  cigarette  was  in  his  mouth  (one  of  Burton's 
cigarettes),  a  reading-lamp  was  at  his  elbow,  and 
he  was  engaged  in  the  perusal  of  a  new  novel 
which  Crane  had  received  the  day  before,  and 
had  strangely  missed  ever  since.  On  the  floor 
near-by  was  a  tray,  empty  indeed,  but  bearing  un 
mistakable  signs  of  having  been  well  filled  only 
recently. 

Crane  took  the  cigarette  from  Brindlebury's 
mouth,  and  the  book  from  his  hand. 

"  Now,"  he  said,  "  I  '11  give  you  five  minutes 
to  get  your  things  together  and  get  out."  There 
were  no  signs  that  packing  had  ever  been  con- 

136 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

templated;  all  Brindlebury's  belongings  were  un 
disturbed. 

The  boy  looked  at  Crane.  He  would  like  to 
have  answered,  but  he  could  not  think  of  any 
thing  to  say,  so  he  got  up  slowly  and  tried  to 
smooth  his  hair  which  was  very  much  rumpled. 

"  I  'm  not  positive  I  have  such  a  thing  as  a  bag," 
he  observed  at  length,  but  a  little  search  revealed 
one  in  the  closet.  It  was  marked  "  B.  Rev- 
elly." 

"  A  token  of  respect  from  your  late  employer, 
I  suppose,"  said  Crane. 

The  boy  did  not  answer.  He  was  rather 
sulkily  putting  on  his  clothes.  He  was  not  a  neat 
packer.  A  tooth-brush  and  some  pipe  tobacco,  a 
wet  sponge  and  some  clean  shirts,  boots  and 
pajamas  were  indiscriminately  mixed. 

The  five  minutes,  unmarked  by  any  conversa 
tion,  had  almost  elapsed  when  light  steps  were 
heard  in  the  hallway,  and  a  voice  exclaimed: 

"  Did  you  have  a  good  dinner,  honey?  "  and 
Jane-Ellen  came  spinning  into  the  room,  all  the 
demureness  gone  from  her  manner. 

At  the  sight  of  her  employer,  she  stopped,  and 

I37i 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

her  hand  went  up  to  her  mouth  with  a  gesture  ex 
pressive  of  the  utmost  horror.  Brindlebury  did 
not  stop  packing.  He  was  now  filling  in  the  cor 
ners  with  shaving  soap  and  socks. 

His  sister  turned  to  Crane. 

l<  Oh,  sir,"  she  wailed,  "  we  Ve  acted  very 
wrongly." 

"  Jane-Ellen,"  replied  Crane,  "  that  really 
does  n't  go.  It  was  a  good  manner,  and  you 
worked  it  well,  but  it  is  now,  if  you  will  forgive 
my  saying  so,  old  stuff.  I  cannot  look  upon  you 
as  a  foolishly  fond  sister,  trying  to  protect  an 
erring  brother.  I  think  it  far  more  likely  that 
you  are  the  organizer  of  this  efficient  little  plan  to 
keep  him  here  unobserved,  eating  my  food,  read 
ing  my  books,  and  smoking,  if  I  am  not  greatly 
mistaken,  my  cigarettes. 

"  Oh,  Brin,  do  you  take  Mr.  Crane's  ciga 
rettes?"  said  Jane-Ellen. 

"  Not  unless  I  'm  out  of  my  own,"  said  her 
brother. 

"  Without  clearing  his  own  honesty,  he  im 
pugns  my  taste,"  said  Crane. 

It  was  plain  that  Jane-Ellen  was  going  to  make 
138 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

another  effort  to  improve  the  situation.  She  was 
thinking  hard.  At  last  she  began : 

"  I  don't  defend  what  we  Ve  done,  sir,  but  if 
you  would  have  let  me  see  you  alone  this  after 
noon,  I  was  going  to  ask  that  Brindlebury  might 
stay  just  for  this  one  night.  Only  I  could  n't 
speak  before  Mr.  Tucker,  I  'm  so  afraid  of  him." 

'  There  you  go  again,"  said  Burton.  "  You  're 
not  telling  the  truth.  You  're  not  in  the  least 
afraid  of  Tucker." 

'  Well,  not  as  much  as  I  am  of  you,  sir." 

'  Jane-Ellen,"  said  Crane,  "  I  believe  you  are  a 
very  naughty  girl."  He  was  surprised  to  find 
that  every  trace  of  ill  temper  had  left  him. 

"  I  know  what  you  mean,  sir,"  said  the  cook, 
and  this  time  her  voice  had  a  certain  common 
place  tone.  "  And  it 's  true.  I  have  n't  always 
been  perfectly  honest  with  you,  but  a  servant  can't 
be  candid  and  open,  sir;  you  know,  yourself,  it 
would  n't  do." 

"  I  'd  like  to  see  it  tried,"  returned  Crane. 

'  Well,  I  'm  honest  now,  sir,"  she  went  on, 
"  in  asking  you  to  let  Brin  stay.  He  '11  apolo 
gize,  I  'm  sure  — " 

139 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  I  will  not,"  said  the  boy,  still  packing. 

But  his  sister  hardly  noticed  the  interruption. 

"  He  will  do  what  I  tell  him  when  he  comes  to 
think  it  over,  if  you  will  only  relent.  Don't  you 
think  you  are  just  a  little  hard  on  him?  He  is 
my  brother,  and  it  would  make  me  so  happy  if  you 
would  let  him  stay." 

The  desire  to  make  others  happy  is  not  a  crime, 
yet  Crane  felt  nothing  but  shame  at  the  obvious 
weakening  of  his  own  resolution  under  the  pecul 
iarly  melting  voice  of  Jane-Ellen.  He  glanced  at 
the  boy,  he  thought  of  Tucker,  he  looked  long  at 
Jane-Ellen.  Who  knows  what  might  have  hap 
pened  if  his  eyes,  which  he  decided  he  must  wrench 
away  from  hers,  had  not  suddenly  fallen  upon  a 
small  object  lying  undisguised  on  Brindlebury's 
dressing-table. 

It  was  the  pearl  set  miniature. 

All -three  saw  it  almost  at  the  same  instant. 
The  hands  of  all  went  out  toward  it,  but  Crane's 
reached  it  first.  He  took  it  up. 

"  Have  you  any  explanation  to  offer,  Brindle- 
bury?  "  he  said. 

"  I  can  explain,"  exclaimed  Jane-Ellen. 
140 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  I  'm  sure  you  can,"  Crane  answered.  "  The 
only  question  is,  shall  I  believe  your  explanation." 

"  He  took  it  because  it  reminded  him  of  me. 
That 's  the  only  reason  he  wanted  it." 

Crane  looked  from  the  miniature  to  the  cook. 
He  knew  that  this  was  also  the  only  reason  why 
he  himself  wanted  it. 

"  Jane-Ellen,"  he  said,  "  go  downstairs  and  or 
der  the  motor  to  come  to  the  side  door  at  once." 

"  Mr.  Crane,  you  're  not  going  to  have  Brin 
arrested?  " 

He  shook  his  head. 

"  I  ought  to,  perhaps,  but  I  am  not  going  to. 
I  'm  going  to  take  him  in  the  motor  to  what  I 
consider  a  safe  distance,  and  drop  him." 

"  Just  like  a  stray  cat,"  gasped  Brindlebury's 
sister. 

"  Cats  usually  come  back,"  said  the  boy,  with 
a  return  of  his  normal  spirits. 

"  Cats  have  nine  lives,"  replied  Crane,  sig 
nificantly. 

Something  about  the  tone  of  this  remark  put 
an  end  to  the  conversation.  Jane-Ellen  obedi 
ently  left  the  room.  Brindlebury  struggled 

141 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

frantically  to  strap  his  bulging  bag,  and  succeeded 
only  with  the  assistance  of  Crane. 

When  they  went  downstairs,  the  motor  was 
already  ticking  quietly  at  the  side  door.  No  one 
was  visible,  except  Jane-Ellen,  who  was  wistfully 
watching  it. 

Brindlebury  got  in,  and  set  his  bag  upright  be 
tween  his  knees;  Crane  got  in,  and  had  actually 
released  the  brake,  when,  looking  up  at  the 
cook  still  standing  there,  he  found  himself 
saying: 

"  Do  you  want  to  come,  too,  Jane-Ellen,  to  see 
the  last  of  your  brother?  " 

Of  course  she  did;  she  looked  hastily  about  and 
then  turned  toward  the  stairs,  but  Crane  stopped 
her. 

"  No,"  he  said,  "  don't  go  up.  There  's  a  coat 
of  mine  there  in  the  coat  closet.  Take  that." 

Immediately  she  reappeared  in  a  heavy  Irish 
frieze  overcoat  he  had  had  made  that  spring  in 
New  Bond  Street.  It  was  an  easy  fit  for  Crane ; 
it  enveloped  Jane-Ellen  completely.  The  collar 
which  she  had  contrived  to  turn  up  as  she  put  the 
coat  on,  stood  level  with  the  top  of  her  head;  the 

142 


•<mm 


At  the  sight  of  Crane,  Jane-Ellen  stopped  with  a  gesture  of  the  utmost 

horror 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

hem  trailed  on  the  ground,  and  the  sleeves  hung 
limp  from  below  the  elbows.  She  looked  like  a 
very  small  kitten  wrapped  up  in  a  very  large  baby's 
blanket.  But  she  did  not  allow  this  superfluity 
of  cloth  to  hamper  her  movements;  she  sprang 
into  the  little  back  seat,  and  they  started. 

After  about  half  an  hour,  Crane  stopped  the 
car.  They  were  now  in  the  outskirts  of  the  main 
town  of  the  district. 

'  This  is  where  you  get  out,"  he  said. 

Brindlebury  obeyed. 

"  Smithfield  paid  you  your  wages,  I  believe," 
and  Burton  plunged  into  his  own  pocket.  '  Well, 
there  's  something  extra." 

At  this,  a  trembling  might  have  been  seen  in 
the  right  sleeve  of  the  frieze  coat,  and  the  next 
second,  Jane-Ellen's  hand  emerged  from  the  cuff, 
and  Crane  for  the  first  time  experienced  the  touch 
of  her  fingers.  She  pushed  his  hand  away  from 
her  brother's. 

"  Don't  take  that  money,  Brin,"  she  cried. 

Brindlebury's  hand  dropped. 

"  No,  of  course  not.  What  do  you  take  me 
for?  "  he  said.  Then  he  snatched  off  his  cap  and 

145 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

kissed  his  sister  good-by,  and,  picking  up  his  bag, 
he  disappeared  into  the  darkness. 

There  was  a  moment's  silence  between  the  other 
two,  before  Crane  said: 

u  Better  get  into  the  front  seat.  You  '11  be 
more  comfortable." 

Holding  up  her  coat,  as  if  it  were  a  coronation 
robe,  Jane-Ellen  stepped  in,  sat  down,  and 
wrapped  it  carefully  about  her  knees  —  a  process 
in  which  Crane  by  the  greatest  effort  of  self-con 
trol  did  not  join.  Again  the  brake  squeaked  and 
the  motor  moved  forward. 

A  great  deal  has  been  said  about  silence  as  a 
method  of  spiritual  communion,  but  few  of  us,  in 
social  situations,  at  least,  have  the  courage  of 
these  convictions.  Most  hostesses,  on  looking 
about  a  silent  dinner-table,  would  be  more  apt 
to  think  that  they  were  watching  a  suspension  of 
diplomatic  relations,  rather  than  an  intercom 
munication  of  souls.  But  there  are  moments  for 
all  of  us  when  we  value  silence  as  highly  as 
Maeterlinck  himself  and  this,  in  Burton's  opinion, 
was  one  of  them. 

The  moonlight,  so  much  more  beautiful  and 
146 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

affecting  than  he  had  found  it  earlier  in  the  eve 
ning  in  the  garden,  the  smooth,  quick  motion,  the 
damp  night  air  blowing  against  his  face,  made  him 
acutely  aware  of  the  presence  at  his  side  of  that 
small,  still  companion.  He  felt  no  need  of 
speech,  nor  did  he  speculate  as  to  her  state  of 
mind.  He  drove,  and  enjoyed  life  deeply. 

They  were  nearly  at  home  again,  before  he 
asked: 

"  Why  was  it  you  did  not  wish  your  brother  to 
take  what  I  offered  him?" 

"  Because,"  she  answered,  in  a  tone  of  sim 
plicity  and  sincerity  he  had  never  yet  heard  from 
her,  "  it  would  not  have  been  good  for  him. 
He  's  young,  and  takes  things  too  easily.  He 
ought  not  to  have  money  he  does  not  work  for." 

"  I  am  glad  that  you  feel  like  that,"  he  said. 
"  I  was  afraid  you  refused  to  let  him  have  it,  be 
cause  you  were  angry  at  me  for  sending  him 
away." 

He  was  afraid  that  she  would  relapse  into  her 
old  tone  of  mock  servility  and  assure  him  that  she 
would  never  be  guilty  of  the  liberty  of  criticizing 
her  employer,  but  she  did  not.  She  said: 

H7 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  But  I  was  not  angry  at  you.  I  should  not 
have  respected  you  if  you  had  done  anything  else." 

He  answered  seriously: 

'  You  knew  that  I  was  sorry  not  to  do  what 
you  asked  me  to  do?  " 

"  Yes,  I  knew,"  she  said. 

They  did  not  speak  again. 

They  left  the  car  at  the  garage  and  walked  to 
the  house.  There  had  been  failure  in  coopera 
tion,  for  Smithfield  evidently  had  not  known  of 
the  expedition.  The  side  door  was  locked,  and 
so  was  the  front  door. 

"  I  suppose  I  'd  better  ring,"  said  Crane  reluc 
tantly.  Somehow  he  was  not  eager  to  face  Smith- 
field's  cold,  reproving  glance. 

"  No,  follow  me,"  whispered  Jane-Ellen. 

She  led  him  to  the  kitchen  entrance  and  pointed 
to  a  window. 

"  I  don't  believe  that  window  has  had  a  bolt  for 
sixty  years,"  she  said. 

"  And  to  think,"  returned  Crane,  as  he  gently 
raised  it,  "  that  before  I  took  the  house  I  com 
plained  of  its  being  out  of  repair." 

He  climbed  in  and  opened  the  kitchen  door  for 
148 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

her.  He  had  a  match,  and  she  knew  the  where 
abouts  of  a  candle.  They  still  spoke  in  whispers. 
There  was,  of  course,  no  real  reason  why  they 
were  so  eager  to  let  the  household  sleep  undis 
turbed,  yet  they  were  obviously  united  in  the 
resolution  to  make  no  unnecessary  sound. 

"Wouldn't  you  like  something  to  eat?" 
breathed  Jane-Ellen. 

"  A  good  idea,"  he  answered. 

She  divested  herself  of  his  coat  and  beckoned 
him  to  the  ice-box.  They  had  entirely  ceased  to 
be  master  and  servant. 

"  Some  of  that  chicken  salad  you  had  for  din 
ner,"  she  murmured,  "  if  any  of  it  came  down. 
I  dare  say  it  did  n't  though.  Smithfield  's  so  fond 
of  it." 

Crane  laughed. 

'  You  mean  he  eats  in  the  pantry?  " 

She  nodded. 

"All  butlers  do,  and  Smithfield 's  a  little  bit 
greedy,  though  you  'd  never  guess  it,  would 
you?" 

They  laughed  softly  over  Smithfield,  as  they 
spread  out  their  simple  meal  on  the  kitchen  table. 

149 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

Jane-Ellen  showed  a  faint  disposition  to  wait  upon 
her  employer,  but  it  was  easily  vanquished  by  his 
assertion  that  he  would  eat  nothing  unless  she 
sat  down,  too.  A  few  minutes  later,  it  was  he 
who  was  doing  whatever  work  was  to  be  done, 
and  she  sitting  with  her  elbows  on  the  table  watch 
ing  him.  There  seemed,  after  all,  nothing  un 
natural  in  this  new  relation. 

Presently,  Willoughby,  hearing  the  sound  of 
dishes,  or  smelling  the  chicken  salad,  awoke  and 
jumped  on  the  table. 

"Do  you  mind  him?"  asked  his  mistress  in 
melting  tones. 

Crane  did  n't  mind  him  at  all.  He  offered  the 
cat  a  bit  of  chicken.  Willoughby  seemed  to  en 
joy  it,  chewing  it  with  quick  little  jerks  of  his 
head.  And  presently,  he  raised  a  paw  and  de 
flected  a  fork  which  Crane  was  carrying  to  his 
own  mouth.  Even  this  Crane  appeared  to  find 
amusing. 

Before  they  had  finished,  the  kitchen  clock  be 
hind  them  suddenly  and  discordantly  struck  once. 
Burton  started  and  half  turned  his  head,  but  she 
stopped  him. 

150 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Let 's  guess  what  time  it  is,"  she  said.  "  Of 
course,  it 's  later  than  half  past  ten.  It  might  be 
half  past  eleven." 

"  Or  even  half  past  twelve." 

"  It  could  be  one." 

"  But  certainly  not  half  past." 

They  looked  around.     It  was  half  past. 

Jane-Ellen  sprang  up. 

"  Oh,  how  dreadful!  "  she  exclaimed,  without, 
however,  any  very  real  conviction.  "  How  ter 
ribly  late,  and  I  have  to  get  up  so  early  in  the 
morning." 

"  It  makes  me  desperately  ashamed,"  said 
Crane,  "  to  think  you  have  to  get  up  to  cook  for 
all  of  us  and  that  I  can  sleep  just  as  late  as  I  want 
to." 

She  laughed. 

"If  you  have  n't  anything  worse  to  worry  about 
than  that,  you  're  very  lucky." 

But  he  had  something  to  worry  about,  and  as 
soon  as  she  was  gone,  he  began  to  worry  about  it, 
namely,  the  painful  and  complicated  situation  of  a 
man  who  has  fallen  in  love  with  his  cook. 


VIII 

MRS.  FALKENER  never  came  down  to 
breakfast.  At  nine  to  the  minute,  her 
bell  tinkled,  and  Lily  staggered  up  to  her  room 
bearing  a  tray,  from  which,  it  subsequently  ap 
peared,  many  essentials  had  been  forgotten;  the 
next  ten  minutes  were  spent  by  the  unfortunate 
housemaid  in  trips  to  the  pantry  in  search  of  salt, 
powdered  sugar  or  a  tea-strainer. 

Cora,  however,  came  down  and  poured  out 
coffee  for  the  two  men.  She  looked  handsome 
and  vigorous  in  this  occupation,  and  Crane,  sitting 
opposite  to  her,  wondered  if  it  were  his  destiny  to 
sit  so  for  the  rest  of  his  life.  He  watched  her 
thin  white  hands  —  strong  as  steel,  they  were  — 
moving  about  among  the  cups.  .  He  had  once  ad 
mired  them  intensely.  But  now  he  knew  that 
hands  did  not  have  to  be  so  firm  and  muscular  to 
accomplish  wonderful  achievements  in  all  sorts  of 
ways. 

152 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

At  ten,  Mrs.  Falkener  came  swimming  down 
the  stairs,  all  suavity  and  brightness.  The  eve 
ning  before,  while  Crane  had  been  struggling  with 
the  problem  of  Brindlebury's  misdeeds,  she  and 
Tucker  had  had  another  council  of  war.  A  new 
attack  upon  the  cook  had  been  planned,  which  they 
felt  sure  would  bring  to  light  delinquencies  that 
even  Crane  could  not  overlook. 

"  Come,  Burton,"  she  said  as  she  entered  the 
sitting-room,  "  are  n't  you  ever  going  to  offer  to 
show  me  the  kitchen?  You  know  that  to  an  old- 
fashioned  housekeeper  like  myself,  it  is  the  most 
interesting  part  of  the  whole  house." 

Such  interest,  Crane  felt  inclined  to  answer, 
was  not  confined  to  old-fashioned  housekeepers. 
Her  suggestion  roused  conflicting  desires  in  him; 
the  desire  to  see  Jane-Ellen,  and  the  desire  to 
protect  her  from  Mrs.  Falkener. 

'  Tuck  could  tell  us  all  about  it,"  he  said  slyly. 

Tucker,  who  was  reading  the  paper,  pretended 
not  to  hear,  and  presently  Crane  rang  the  bell. 

uTell  the  cook,  Smithfield,"  he  said,  "that 
Mrs.  Falkener  and  I  are  coming  down  to  inspect 
the  kitchen  in  about  ten  minutes." 

153 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

When  Smithfield  had  gone,  Mrs.  Falkener 
shook  her  finger  at  Crane. 

"  That  was  a  mistake,  my  dear  Burton,"  she 
said,  "  a  great  mistake.  Take  them  unaware 
whenever  you  can;  it  is  the  only  way  to  protect 
ourselves  against  the  unscrupulous  members  of 
their  class." 

"  Crane,"  said  Tucker,  without  looking  up  from 
his  paper,  "  wants  to  give  the  young  woman 
plenty  of  time  to  smuggle  out  any  superfluous 
young  man  who  may  be  visiting  her  at  the  mo 
ment." 

"  Well,  I  'm  no  gum-shoe  man,  Tuck,"  Burton 
replied,  leaving  all  of  his  hearers  in  doubt  as 
to  whether  or  not  he  had  emphasized  the  word 

i.     I    » 

Tucker  laughed  sarcastically. 

"  No,  my  dear  fellow,"  he  answered,  "  your 
best  friend  would  not  accuse  you  of  having  tal 
ents  along  the  detective  line." 

"  Perhaps  not,"  replied  Crane.  "  And  by  the 
way,  did  I  tell  you  that  the  miniature  had  turned 
up  all  right?  " 

Tucker's  face  fell.     He  had  depended  a  good 

154 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

deal  on  the  loss  of  the  miniature  as  a  lever  to  oust 
the  whole  set  of  servants. 

"  No,"  he  said.     "  Where  was  it  discovered?  " 

"  Oh,  it  had  just  been  moved,"  answered 
Crane.  "  It  was  lying  on  another  table,  when  I 
happened  to  notice  it."  He  took  it  out  of  his 
pocket  and  looked  at  it.  "  I  think  now,  I  '11  keep 
it  in  my  room  for  safety.  You  approve  of  that, 
don't  you,  Tuck?  " 

Tucker,  who  felt  that  in  some  way  he  was  be 
ing  deceived,  would  not  answer,  and  in  the  pause 
Mrs.  Falkener  rose  and  said  chattily, 

"Well,  shall  we  be  off?" 

"Coming  with  us,  Solon?" 

"  No,  I  'm  not,"  returned  Tucker  crossly. 

"  Did  n't  mean  to  offend  you,"  Crane  answered. 
"  I  thought  you  liked  kitchens,  too." 

Downstairs,  they  found  the  kitchen  empty. 
Jane-Ellen  was  standing  just  outside  the  door 
watching  Willoughby,  who  was  exciting  himself 
most  unnecessarily  over  preparations  which  he  was 
making  to  catch  a  bird  that  was  hopping  about  in 
the  grass  near  by.  The  great  cat  crouched,  all 
still  except  the  end  of  his  tail,  which  twitched 

155 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

ominously,  then  he  rose,  and,  balancing  himself 
almost  imperceptibly  on  his  four  paws,  seemed 
about  to  spring;  then  abandoning  this  method,  too, 
he  crept  a  little  nearer  to  his  victim,  his  stomach 
almost  touching  the  earth.  And  then  the  whole 
exhibition  was  ended  by  the  bird,  who,  having 
accomplished  its  foraging  expedition,  lightly  flew 
away,  leaving  Willoughby  looking  as  foolish  as  a 
cat  ever  does  look. 

Jane-Ellen  stooped  and  patted  him. 

"  You  silly  dear,"  she  said  caressingly. 

It  was  Willoughby  who  first  saw  Crane.  With 
a  vivid  recollection  of  the  previous  evening's  feast 
of  chicken  from  the  salad,  the  cat  ran  to  him  and 
bumped  his  nose  repeatedly  against  Crane's  legs 
in  token  of  fealty  and  gratitude.  Burton  felt  un 
duly  flattered.  He  lifted  Willoughby,  who  in 
stantly  made  himself  very  soft  and  heavy  in  his 
arms  and  showed  every  disposition  to  settle  down 
and  go  to  sleep. 

Mrs.  Falkener  looked  at  him  sentimentally. 

"  How  all  animals  take  to  you,  Burton,  at  first 
sight!  "  she  said. 

Crane  bent  over  and  replaced  Willoughby 
156 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

slowly  on  the  ground,  while  Jane-Ellen  turned 
her  head  away  for  an  instant.  Mrs.  Falkener 
went  on: 

'  What  a  nice,  bright  kitchen  you  have,  Jane- 
Ellen.  A  good  range,  though  old-fashioned. 
How  bright  you  keep  your  copper.  That 's 
right."  She  wandered  away  in  her  tour  of  in 
spection.  "  See,  Burton,  this  blue  plate.  It 
looks  to  me  as  if  it  might  have  value.  And  this 
oak  dresser  —  it  must  be  two  hundred  years  old." 
She  was  across  the  room  and  her  back  was  turned. 
Crane  and  the  cook  stood  looking  at  each  other. 
"How  charming,  how  interesting!"  Mrs.  Falk-^ 
ener  continued.  "  And  you  would  not  believe  me 
when  I  said  that  the  kitchen  was  the  most  interest 
ing  part  of  the  house." 

"  I  did  not  disagree  with  that,"   said  Crane, 
still  looking  at  Jane-Ellen. 

"  Oh,  my  dear  boy,  you  would  never  have  come 
down  if  I  had  not  made  you." 

"  One  doesn't  always  do  what  one  wants  to 
do,"  said  Crane. 

Mrs.   Falkener  turned.     The  kitchen  had  re 
vealed  none  of  the  enormities  she  had  expected  — 

157 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

not  even  a  man  hidden  in  the  kitchen  closet,  the 
door  of  which  she  had  hopefully  opened;  but  one 
chance  still  remained.  The  ice-box !  In  her  time 
she  had  known  many  incriminating  ice-boxes.  She 
called  loudly  to  be  taken  to  it. 

"  It 's  this  way,  madame,"  said  the  cook. 

Mrs.  Falkener  drew  Crane  aside. 

"  That,"  she  said,  "  is  the  very  best  way  to 
judge  of  a  cook's  economical  powers.  See  how 
much  she  saves  of  the  dishes  that  come  from  the 
upstairs  table.  Now,  last  night  I  happened  to 
notice  that  the  chicken  salad  went  downstairs  al 
most  untouched." 

For  the  first  time  in  years,  Burton  found  him 
self  coloring. 

"  Oh,  really?  "  he  stammered.  "  I  had  an  idea 
that  we  had  eaten  quite  a  lot  of  it." 

"  No,"  returned  Mrs.  Falkener  firmly,  "  no,  a 
good  dish  went  down.  Let  us  go  and  see." 

Crane  glanced  at  Jane-Ellen.  He  thought  she 
had  overheard. 

They  reached  the  ice-box;  the  cook  lifted  the 
lid,  and  Mrs.  Falkener  looked  in.  The  first  sight 
that  greeted  her  eyes  was  the  platter  that  had 

158 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

borne  the  salad  she  had  liked  so  much.  It  was 
almost  empty. 

"  Why,  Jane-Ellen,"  she  said,  "  where  is  all  the 
rest  of  that  excellent  salad?  " 

At  this  question,  Jane-Ellen,  who  was  standing 
beside  the  chest,  gave  the -lid  a  slight  downward 
impulsion,  so  that  it  suddenly  closed  with  a  loud, 
heavy  report,  within  half  an  inch  of  Mrs.  Falk- 
ener's  nose. 

That  lady  turned  to  Burton. 

"  Burton,"  she  said,  with  the  majesty  of  which 
she  was  at  times  capable,  "  I  leave  it  to  you  to  de 
cide  whether  or  not  this  impossible  young  woman 
did  that  on  purpose,"  and  so  saying  she  swept 
away  up  the  stairs,  like  a  goddess  reascending 
Olympus. 

"  Look  here,  Jane-Ellen,"  said  Crane,  "  I  don't 
stand  for  that." 

"  Oh,  sir,"  replied  the  culprit,  with  a  return  to 
an  earlier  manner,  "  you  surely  don't  think  I  had 
anything  to  do  with  it?  " 

"  Unhappily,  I  was  watching  your  hand  at  the 
time,  and  I  know  that  you  had." 

Jane-Ellen  completely  changed  her  method. 

159 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Oh,  well,"  she  said,  "  you  did  not  want  her 
going  on  any  more  about  the  old  salad,  did  you?  " 

"  I  don't  want  the  end  of  my  guest's  nose  taken 
off." 

"  It 's  rather  a  long  nose,"  said  the  cook  dispas 
sionately. 

"  Jane-Ellen,  I  am  seriously  displeased." 

At  this  the  cook  had  a  new  idea.  She  extracted 
a  very  small  handkerchief  from  her  pocket  and 
unfolded  it  as  she  said : 

"  Yes,  indeed,  sir,  I  suppose  I  did  utterly  forget 
my  place,  but  it 's  rather  hard  on  a  poor  girl  — 
one  day  you  treat  her  as  if  she  were  an  empress, 
and  the  next,  just  as  if  she  were  mud  under 
your  feet."  She  pressed  the  handkerchief  to  her 
eyes. 

"  Jane-Ellen,  you  know  I  never  treated  you  like 
mud  under  my  feet." 

"  It  was  only  last  night  in  my  brother's  room," 
she  went  on  tearfully,  "  that  you  scolded  me  for 
not  being  candid,  and  now  at  the  very  first  candid 
thing  I  do,  you  turn  on  me  like  a  lion  — " 

At  this  point  Crane  removed  her  hands  and 
handkerchief  from  before  her  face,  and  revealed 

1 60 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

the  fact,  which  he  already  suspected,  that  she  was 
smiling  all  the  time. 

"  Jane-Ellen,  what  a  dreadful  fraud  you  are !  " 
he  said  quite  seriously. 

"  No,  Mr.  Crane,"  answered  Jane-Ellen, 
briskly  tucking  away  her  handkerchief,  now  that 
its  usefulness  was  over.  "  No,  I  'm  not  exactly 
a  fraud.  It 's  just  that  that 's  my  way  of  enjoying 
myself,  and  you  know,  sometimes  I  think  other 
people  enjoy  it,  too." 

"  Do  you  think  Mrs.  Falkener  enjoys  it?" 

"  I  was  n't  thinking  of  Mrs.  Falkener,"  replied 
Jane-Ellen,  with  a  twinkle  in  her  eyes. 

"  Burton !  "  called  Mrs.  Falkener's  voice  from 
the  head  of  the  stairs. 

Crane  and  his  cook  drew  slightly  closer  to 
gether,  as  if  against  a  common  enemy. 

"  Do  you  suppose  she  can  have  heard  us?  "  he 
asked. 

"  I  think  she  's  perfectly  capable  of  trying  to 
hear." 

Crane  smiled. 

"  I  took  a  great  risk,  Jane-Ellen,  when  I  advised 
you  to  be  candid." 

161 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Burton !  "  said  the  voice  again. 

"  Merciful  powers!  "  exclaimed  Crane.  "  She 
calls  like  Juliet's  nurse." 

The  cook  laughed. 

"  But  you  must  be  prpmpter  than  Juliet  was." 
'  What  do  you  know  about  Shakespeare,  Jane- 
Ellen?" 

"  Moving  pictures  have  been  a  great  education 
to  the  lower  classes,  you  know,  sir." 

He  moved  toward  the  stairs,  but  turned  back 
to  say, 

11  Good-by,  Jane-Ellen." 

She  answered: 

'  Think  you  that  we  shall  ever  meet  again?  ' 
and  then  even  she  seemed  to  feel  that  she  had 
committed  an  imprudence  and  she  dashed  away  to 
the  kitchen. 

Crane  ascended  the  stairs  slowly,  for  he  was 
trying  to  recall  the  lines  that  follow  Juliet's  pa 
thetic  question,  when  he  suddenly  became  aware 
of  Mrs.  Falkener's  feet  planted  firmly  on  the  top 
step,  and  then  of  that  lady's  whole  majestic  pres 
ence.  He  pulled  himself  together  with  an  effort. 

"  Do  you  suppose  that  girl  could  have  dropped 
162 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

that  lid  on  purpose?"  he  asked,  as  if  this  were 
the  question  he  had  been  so  deeply  pondering. 

"  I  feel  not  the  least  doubt  of  it,"  returned  Mrs. 
Falkener. 

He  shook  his  head. 

"  It  seems  almost  incredible,"  he  answered, 
moving  swiftly  across  the  hall  toward  the  sitting- 
room,  where  Tucker  and  Miss  Falkener  were 
visible. 

u  On  the  contrary,"  replied  the  elder  lady,  "  it 
seems  to  me  perfectly  in  keeping  with  the  whole 
conduct  of  this  extraordinary  young  person." 
They  had  now  entered  the  room,  and  she  included 
Tucker  and  her  daughter  in  an  account  of  the  in 
cident. 

'  You  know,  Solon,  and  you,  too,  Cora,  how 
easy  I  am  on  servants.  I  must  admit,  every  one 
will  confirm  it,  that  my  own  servants  adore  me. 
They  adore  me,  don't  they,  Cora?  No  wonder. 
I  see  to  their  comfort.  They  have  their  own 
bath,  and  a  sitting-room  far  better  than  anything 
I  had  myself  as  a  young  woman.  But  in  return 
I  do  demand  respect,  absolute  respect.  And 
when  I  am  looking  into  an  ice-box,  examining  it, 

163 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

at  Burton's  special  request,  to  have  that  young 
minx  slam  down  the  lid,  almost  catching  my  nose, 
Solon,  I  assure  you,  almost  touching  my  nose,  as 
she  did  it!" 

Tucker  listened  attentively,   tapping  his   eye 
glasses  on  his  left  palm.     Then  he  said : 

"  And  what  did  you  do  about  it,  Burton?  " 
Crane  had  gone  to  the  bookcases  and  taken 
down  a  volume  of  Shakespeare.     He  was  so  pro 
foundly  immersed  that  Tucker  had  to  repeat  his 
question.     This  is  what  he  was  reading: 

Juliet:     Think  you  that  we  shall  ever  meet 

again? 
Romeo:     I  doubt  it  not,  and  all  our  woes  shall 

serve 
For  pleasant  converse  in  the  days  to 

come. 

He  looked  up,  vainly  trying  to  suppress  a  smile. 
11  What  did  I  do  about  what,  Tuck?  " 
"  About  your  cook's  insulting  Mrs.  Falkener." 
Crane  replaced  the  volume  and  walked  to  the 

window. 

"  Oh,"  he  said,  "  I  stayed  behind  a  moment  — " 
164 


"  Think  you  that  we  shall  ever  meet  again  ?  " 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  A  moment!  "  said  Mrs.  Falkener,  with  some 
thing  that  would  have  been  a  snort  in  one  less  self- 
controlled. 

At  this  instant,  Crane's  attention  was  attracted 
by  a  figure  he  saw  crossing  the  grounds,  and  he 
decided  to  create  a  diversion. 

"  Oh,  look!"  he  exclaimed.  "  Do  come  and 
see  the  housemaid  going  out  for  a  walk.  Did 
you  ever  see  anything  smarter  than  she  looks?" 

The  diversion  was  of  a  more  exciting  nature 
than  he  had  intended.  Mrs.  Falkener  came  to  the 
window  and  uttering  a  piercing  exclamation,  she 
cried-: 

"  The  woman  has  on  Cora's  best  hat!  " 

"Not  really?"  said  Crane,  but  it  did  seem 
to  him  he  remembered  having  seen  the  hat  be 
fore. 

"  It  is,  it  is,"  Mrs.  Falkener  went  on,  in  some 
excitement.  "  Call  her  back  at  once.  Solon,  do 
something.  Call  the  woman  back." 

Tucker,  thus  appealed  to,  threw  open  the  win 
dow,  and  with  an  extremely  creditable  volume  of 
voice,  he  roared: 

"Lily!" 

167 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

The  girl  started  and  turned.  He  beckoned  im 
periously.  She  approached. 

"  Come  in  here  at  once,"  he  said  sternly. 

Mrs.  Falkener  sank  into  a  chair. 

"  This  is  really  too  much,"  she  said,  making 
fluttering  gestures  with  her  hands.  "  Even  you, 
Burton,  will  admit  this  is  too  much.  Stand  by  me, 
Solon." 

"  Don't  say  even  I,  Mrs.  Falkener,"  returned 
Crane,  "  as  if  I  had  been  indifferent  to  your  com 
fort." 

"  Don't  be  so  excited,  Mother,"  said  Cora. 
"  You  know  it  probably  is  n't  my  hat  at  all.  Lily 
has  probably  been  copying  mine." 

Mrs.  Falkener  shook  her  head. 

"  I  should  know  a  Diane  Duruy  model  any 
where,"  she  said. 

At  this  moment,  Lily  entered,  and  good  temper 
did  not  beam  from  her  countenance. 

"  I  had  permission  from  Smithfield  to  go  out," 
she  began  defiantly.  "  Smithfield  sent  me  over 
to  look  up  a  boy  to  replace  Brin  — " 

"  The  trouble  is  not  over  your  going  out,"  said 
Crane. 

168 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  What  is  the  trouble,  then?" 

"  The  trouble,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener,  seeing 
Crane  hesitate  for  a  word,  "  is  that  you  have  on 
my  daughter's  hat." 

"Your  daughter's  hat!"  said  Lily  contemp 
tuously.  "  Nothing  of  the  kind." 

Mrs.  Falkener  turned  to  Tucker. 

"  This  is  intolerable.  This  is  insufferable," 
she  cried.  "  To  have  that  woman  standing  there 
in  Cora's  hat,  which  I  chose  myself  and  paid  forty- 
five  dollars  for  at  a  sale,  and  cheap,  too,  for  a 
Diane  Duruy  model;  to  stand  there  and  tell  me 
I  don't  know  the  hat  when  I  see  it — " 

"  Cora,"  said  Crane,  "  is  that  your  hat?  " 

"  Why,  yes,  I  'm  afraid  it  is,"  answered  Cora, 
rather  reluctantly. 

"  Lily,  have  you  any  explanation  to  make?  "  he 
asked. 

"  None  at  all,"  replied  the  housemaid,  looking 
like  white  granite. 

"  Cora,"  said  Crane,  "  you  did  not  by  any 
chance  say  anything  that  could  have  led  Lily  to  be 
lieve  you  meant  to  give  her  the  hat  ?  " 

Miss  Falkener  smiled. 
169 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  No,"  she  said.  "  My  mother  would  not  en 
courage  such  a  generous  impulse  in  regard  to  a 
French  hat." 

"  Then,  Lily,"  said  Burton,  "  take  off  the  hat, 
and  give  it  back  to  Miss  Falkener,  and  go  and 
pack  your  things  and  be  out  of  the'  house  in  an 
hour." 

"  You  must  have  her  luggage  searched,"  said 
Tucker. 

"Give  the  hat  back!"  cried  Mrs.  Falkener. 
"  What  good  will  that  do?  Do  you  suppose  that 
I  would  ever  let  Cora  put  it  on  her  head  again, 
after  that  woman  has  worn  it?  She  may  as  well 
keep  it  now." 

"  I  shall,"  answered  Lily.     "  It 's  mine." 

The  girl's  determination  impressed  Crane  more 
than  it  did  the  others,  though  even  he  could 
not  see  any  loop-hole  of  escape  for  her.  He 
rang  the  bell,  and  when  Smithfield  appeared,  he 
said: 

"  Smithfield,  I  have  dismissed  Lily.  We 
found  her  leaving  the  house  in  one  of  Miss 
Falkener's  hats." 

"  Oh,  begging  your  pardon,  no,  sir,"  said 
170 


"  Cora,"  said  Crane,  "  is  that  your  hat  ?  " 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

Smithfield.  "  It  is  really  not  Miss  Falkener's  hat. 
Surely,  Lily,  you  explained  it?  " 

"  I  don't  care  to  speak  to  them  at  all,"  answered 
Lily. 

"  Oh,  that 's  no  way  to  speak  to  your  employers, 
my  girl,"  said  Smithfield.  "  The  explanation  is 
this,  sir:  I  understand  those  great  French  houses 
send  out  many  hats  alike,  sir,  and  this  one  was 
given  to  Lily  by  a  friend,  by  Mrs.  Crosslett-Bill- 
ington,  to  be  exact,  sir,  she  thinking  it  a  trifle 
youthful  for  herself  after  she  had  bought  it,  and 
I  can't  but  say  she  was  right,  sir,  she  being  a  lady 
now  nearing  sixty,  though  hardly  looking  forty- 
five.  The  first  evening  the  ladies  came,  sir,  when 
Lily  had  done  unpacking  their  things,  she  men 
tioned  in  the  kitchen  that  Miss  Falkener  had  a  hat 
similar  to  her  own,  and  we  all  advised  her,  sir, 
under  the  circumstances,  not  to  wear  it  during  the 
ladies'  stay,  as  being  more  suitable  and  respectful ; 
and  she  agreed  not  to,  but  young  women  when  they 
have  pretty  things,  dear  me,  sir,  they  do  like  to 
wear  them,  and  that  I  presume  is  why  she  put  on 
the  hat,  in  spite  of  our  warnings,  and  I  'm  sure 
she  regrets  it  heartily,  sir." 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  I  don't,"  said  Lily.     "  I  'm  right  glad  I  did." 

"  Tut,  tut,"  said  Smithfield,  "  no  way  to  answer, 
no  way  to  answer." 

"  Cora,"  Crane  said,  "  would  you  go  up  and  see 
if  your  hat  is  in  your  room?  "  Cora  agreed  and 
left  the  room  at  once. 

Complete  silence  reigned  until  she  returned. 
She  was  carrying  in  her  hand  a  hat,  the  exact  dupli 
cate  of  that  which  the  housemaid  wore.  They 
looked  *from  one  to  another.  Lily's  triumph  was 
complete. 

"  Lily,"  said  Crane,  "  an  apology  seems  to  be 
due  to  you,  which  I  have  great  pleasure  in  offering 
you,  but  I  must  say  that  if  you  had  been  just  a  trifle 
more  civil,  the  whole  mistake  might  have  been 
cleared  up  sooner  and  more  agreeably." 

"  I  think  it  outrageous,"  observed  Mrs.  Falk- 
ener,  rising.  "  I  think  it  perfectly  outrageous  that 
any  servant  should  own  a  hat  which  anywhere  but 
at  a  special  sale  must  have  cost  sixty  or  seventy 
dollars." 

"  And  now  I  '11  tell  you  what  I  think  out 
rageous,"  said  Lily,  her  soft  Southern  drawl  tak 
ing  on  a  certain  vigor,  "  and  that  is  that  women 

174 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

like  you,  calling  themselves  ladies,  should  be 
free  to  browbeat  and  insult  servants  as  much  as 
they  please  — " 

"  Shut  up,  Lily,"  said  Smithfield,  but  she  paid 
no  attention. 

"  No,"  she  said,  "  no  one  knows  what  I  Ve  put 
up  with  from  this  insolent  old  harridan,  and  now 
I  am  going  to  say  what  I  think." 

"  Oh,  no,  Lily,"  said  Crane,  taking  her  by  the 
arm,  "  you  really  are  not.  We  're  all  sorry  for 
the  incident,  but  really,  you  know  you  can't  be  al 
lowed  to  talk  like  that." 

"  But,  Mr.  Crane,"  drawled  Lily,  "  you  don't 
appreciate  what  a  dreadful  woman  she  is  —  no 
one  could  who  did  not  have  to  hook  her  up  every 
evening." 

Between  Smithfield  and  Crane,  she  was  hustled 
out  of  the  room. 

Alone  in  the  hall,  Crane  and  his  butler  held  a 
consultation. 

"  She  's  got  to  go,  Smithfield.  Why  in  the 
world  would  n't  she  hold  her  tongue  ?  Poor  girl, 
I  felt  every  sympathy  with  her." 

"  Oh,  sir,"  exclaimed  Smithfield,  "  what  shall 
175 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

we  do?     Jane-Ellen  and  I  really  can't  run  the 
house  entirely  alone,  sir." 

"  Of  course  not,  of  course  not,"  Burton  an 
swered.  "  You  must  get  some  more  servants. 
Get  as  many  as  you  please  —  black,  white,  or  red 
—  but  for  heaven's  sake  get  the  kind  that  won't  be 
impertinent  to  Mrs.  Falkener." 

Smithfield  shook  his  head. 
'  That 's  a  kind  will  be  hard  to  find,  sir,  beg 
ging  your  pardon,"  he  observed. 

Crane  thought  it  best  to  ignore  this  remark. 

"  I  tell  you  what  to  do,"  he  said.  "  Call  up 
Mr.  Eliot  and  say  we  should  all  be  glad  to  accept 
his  invitation  to  lunch  to-day  if  he  can  still  have 
us.  That  will  give  you  a  little  time  to  look  about 
you.  By  to-morrow  you  ought  to  be  able  to  find 
some  one." 

He  waited  to  get  Eliot's  answer  before  he  re 
turned  to  the  sitting-room,  where  he  saw  that 
Tucker  and  Mrs.  Falkener  had  had  a  long,  com 
fortable  talk  about  their  grievances  and  their  own 
general  righteousness.  He  hated  to  break  into 
the  calm  that  had  succeeded  by  announcing  that 
they  were  all  going  out  to  lunch. 

176 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Burton,"  said  Mrs.  Falkener,  directing  a 
stern  glace  at  her  daughter,  "  I  explained  to  you 
yesterday  that  was  an  invitation  I  did  not  care  to 
accept." 

"  I  know,"  said  Crane,  "  but  my  household  is 
now  so  short-handed  that  it  seemed  a  question  of 
lunching  out  or  getting  no  lunch  at  all.  If  you 
really  object  to  going  to  Eliot's,  I  dare  say  they 
could  give  you  something  cold  at  home,  if  you 
did  not  mind  that.  You  will  come,  won't  you, 
Cora?" 

"  With  pleasure,"  answered  Cora. 

Crane's  manner  was  unusually  decisive,  and 
Mrs.  Falkener  saw  that  it  was  time  to  make  things 
smooth. 

"  Oh,  no,"  she  said.  "  No,  if  you  are  all  go 
ing,  I  shall  go,  too.  Only,  home  is  so  delightful, 
I  hate  the  thought  of  leaving  it." 

"  It  has  n't  seemed  very  delightful  to  me  for 
the  past  few  minutes,"  answered  Burton,  "  but 
I  'm  glad  if  you  've  enjoyed  it." 

"  Ah,  Burton,  my  dear,  you  take  these  things 
too  seriously,"  replied  Mrs.  Falkener.  "  A  lit 
tle  trouble  with  the  servants  —  an  everyday  oc- 

177 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

currence  in  a  woman's  life.  You  of  the  stronger 
sex  must  not  let  it  worry  you  so  much.  When 
you  Ve  kept  house  as  many  years  as  I  have,  you  '11 
learn  that  the  great  thing  is  to  be  firm  from  the 
beginning.  That 's  the  only  criticism  I  could  make 
of  you,  Burt,  a  little  weak,  a  little  weak." 

Tucker  here  rose,  pressing  his  hand  over  his 
eyes. 

"  I  think,  if  you  don't  mind,  I  won't  go,"  he 
said.  "  I  Ve  a  slight  headache.  Oh,  nothing 
much,  but  I  '11  lunch  quietly  here,  if  you  '11  let  me 
—  a  slice  of  cold  meat  and  a  glass  of  sherry  is  all 
I  shall  require." 

If  Crane  were  weak,  he  did  not  look  so  at  this 
moment. 

"  I  am  sorry,  Solon,"  he  answered,  "  but  it 
would  be  very  much  more  convenient,  if  you  went 
with  us."  He  had  no  intention  of  leaving  Tucker 
alone  in  the  house  with  Jane-Ellen,  while  Smithfield 
was  scouring  the  countryside  for  fresh  servants. 

"  I  'm  not  thinking  so  much  of  myself,"  said 
Tucker,  "  but  of  you.  I  fear  I  should  not  be 
much  of  an  addition  to  the  party." 

"  But  I  think  of  you,  Tuck,"  answered  his  host. 
178 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  What  in  the  world  would  there  be  for  you  to  do 
at  home,  except  talk  to  the  cook?  " 

Tucker  said,  rather  ungraciously,  that  of  course 
he  would  go  if  Crane  wished  him  to,  but  that  — 

Crane,  however,  did  not  allow  him  to  finish  his 
sentence. 

"  Thank  you,"  he  said  briskly.  "  That  will  be 
delightful.  We  shall  be  starting  at  half-past 
twelve." 


179 


IX 

ELIOT'S  large  library,  to  which  Crane  and  his 
party  were  led  on  their  arrival,  looked  as 
only  a  room  can  look  which  has  been  occupied  for 
several  hours  by  a  number  of  idle  men.  All  the 
sofa  cushions  were  on  the  floor,  all  the  newspapers 
were  on  the  sofas,  cigarette  ashes  were  every 
where,  and  the  air  was  heavy  with  a  combination 
of  wood  and  tobacco  smoke,  everybody's  hair  was 
ruffled,  as  if  they  had  all  been  sitting  on  the  back 
of  their  heads,  and  Eliot,  himself,  now  standing 
commandingly  on  the  hearth-rug,  was  saying: 

"  Yes,  and  he  did  not  have  a  sound  leg  when 
he  bought  him,  and  that  must  have  been  in  1909, 
for  I  remember  it  was  the  last  year  I  went  to 
Melton  — "  He  broke  off  reluctantly  to  greet  his 
guests. 

Lefferts,  who  looked  peculiarly  neat  and  fresh 
among  his  companions,  approached  Burton,  who 
was  beside  Mrs.  Falkener. 

"  They  have  been  talking  for  three  hours,"  he 
1 80 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

observed,  "  about  a  splint  on  the  nigh  foreleg  of 
a  gray  horse  that  does  n't  belong  to  any  of  them. 
Sit  down,  Mrs.  Falkener,  and  let  us  have  a  little 
rational  conversation.  Does  n't  that  idea  attract 
you?" 

"  Not  particularly,  since  you  ask  me,"  replied 
Mrs.  Falkener,  not  deigning  even  to  look  at  the 
poet,  but  sweeping  her  head  about  slowly  as  if 
scanning  vast  horizons. 

"  The  rational  does  n't  attract  you,"  Lefferts 
went  on  cheerfully.  u  Well,  then  we  must  try 
something  else.  How  about  the  fantastic-sar- 
donical,  or  the  comic-fantastical,  or  even  better, 
the  — " 

But  Mrs.  Falkener,  uttering  a  slight  exclama 
tion  of  impatience,  moved  away. 

Lefferts  turned  to  Crane,  with  his  unruffled 
smile. 

"  She  does  n't  like  me,"  he  said. 

"  Cora,"  he  added,  very  slightly  raising  his  voice 
so  as  to  attract  the  attention  of  Miss  Falkener, 
who  immediately  approached  them,  "  Cora,  why  is 
it  your  mother  hates  me  so  much?  " 

"  She  certainly  does,"  returned  Cora  frankly. 
181 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  You  know,  Leonard,  you  are  really  rather  stupid 
with  her.  You  always  begin  by  saying  things  she 
does  n't  understand,  and  of  course  no  one  likes 
that" 

Lefferts  sighed. 

"  You  see,  she  stimulates  me  so  tremendously. 
One  gets  used  to  just  merely  boring  or  depressing 
one's  friends,  but  to  be  actively  hated  is  exciting. 
People  who  have  lived  through  blood  feuds  and 
tong  wars  tell  you  that  there  is  no  excitement  com 
parable  to  it.  I  feel  a  little  like  the  leader  of  a 
tong  whenever  I  meet  Mrs.  Falkener.  Cora, 
would  you  belong  to  my  tong,  or  would  you 
feel  loyalty  demanded  your  remaining  in  your 
mother's?" 

They  went  in  to  luncheon  before  Cora  was  ob 
liged  to  answer,  and  here  Lefferts  contrived  to  sit 
next  to  her  by  the  comparatively  simple  expedient 
of  making  the  man  who  had  already  seated  him 
self  at  her  side  get  up  and  yield  him  the  place. 

Crane,  sitting  between  his  host  and  another  man, 
enjoyed  a  period  of  quiet.  Without  his  exactly 
arranging  it,  a  definite  plan  for  the  afternoon  was 
growing  up  in  his  mind  —  a  plan  which,  it  must  be 

182 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

confessed,  had  been  first  suggested  by  Tucker's 
idea  of  staying  at  home,  a  plan  based  on  a  vision 
of  Jane-Ellen  and  Willoughby  holding  the  kitchen 
in  solitary  state. 

Crane  knew  that  luncheons  at  Eliot's  were  long 
ceremonies.  Food  was  served  and  eaten  slowly, 
you  sat  a  long  time  over  coffee  and  cigars,  and  at 
the  smallest  encouragement,  Eliot  would  bring  out 
his  grandfather's  Madeira.  And  after  that  you 
were  unusually  lucky  if  you  escaped  a  visit  to  the 
stables,  and  that  meant  the  whole  afternoon. 

So  he  awaited  a  good  opportunity  after  lunch 
was  over,  when  Tucker,  under  pretense  of  reading 
a  newspaper,  had  sunk  into  a  comfortable  doze, 
and  Mrs.  Falkener,  while  carrying  on  a  fairly 
connected  conversation  with  Eliot,  was  really  con 
centrated  on  preventing  Lefferts  from  taking  Cora 
into  another  room.  This  was  Crane's  chance. 
He  slipped  into  the  hall,  found  his  coat  and  hat, 
unearthed  his  chauffeur  and  motor,  and  drove 
quickly  home,  sending  back  the  car  at  once  to  wait 
for  the  others. 

He  did  not,  as  his  impulse  was,  go  in  the  kitchen 
way.  He  did  not  want  to  do  anything  that  might 

183 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

annoy  Jane-Ellen.  At  the  same  time,  he  rebelled 
at  the  notion  of  having  always  to  offer  an  excuse 
for  seeing  her,  as  if  he  were  so  superior  a  being 
that  he  had  to  explain  how  he  could  stoop  to  the 
level  of  her  society.  He  wanted  to  say  frankly 
that  he  had  come  home  because  he  wanted  more 
than  anything  in  the  world  to  see  her  again. 

The  first  thing  he  noticed  as  he  went  up  the  steps 
of  the  piazza  was  Willoughby  sleeping  in  the 
warm  afternoon  sun.  Then  he  was  aware  of  the 
sound  of  a  victrola  playing  dance  music.  The 
hall-door  stood  wide  open;  he  looked  in.  Smith- 
field  and  Jane-Ellen  were  dancing. 

Though  no  dancer  himself,  Crane  had  never 
been  aware  of  any  prejudice  on  the  subject;  in 
deed,  he  had  sometimes  thought  that  those  who 
protested  were  more  dangerously  suggestive  than 
the  dances  themselves.  But  now  he  felt  a  wave  of 
protest  sweep  over  him ;  the  closeness,  the  identity 
of  intention,  seemed  to  him  an  intolerable  form  of 
intimacy. 

The  two  were  quite  unconscious  of  his  presence, 
and  he  stood  there  for  several  minutes,  stood 
there,  indeed,  until  Jane-Ellen's  hair  fell  down  and 

184 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

she  had  to  stop  to  rearrange  it.  She  looked  very 
pretty  as  she  stood  panting  and  putting  it  up 
again,  but  she  exerted  no  attraction  upon  Crane. 
Disgust,  he  thought,  was  all  he  now  felt.  One  did 
not,  after  all,  as  he  told  himself,  enter  into  com 
petition  with  one's  own  butler. 

He  went  quietly  away,  ordered  a  horse  and 
went  for  a  long  ride.  A  man  not  very  easily 
moved  emotionally,  he  had  never  experienced  the 
sensation  of  jealousy,  and  he  now  supposed  him 
self  to  have  reached  as  calm  a  judgment  as  any  in 
his  life.  Everything  he  had  ever  heard  to  Jane- 
Ellen's  discredit,  every  intimation  of  Tucker's, 
every  sneer  of  Mrs.  Falkener's,  came  back  to  him 
now.  He  would  like  to  have  sent  for  her  and  in 
the  most  scathing  terms  told  her  what  he  thought 
of  her  —  an  interview  which  he  imagined  as  very 
different  from  his  former  reproof.  But  he  de 
cided  it  would  be  simpler  and  more  dignified  never 
to  notice  her  in  any  way  again.  On  this  deci 
sion  he  at  last  turned  his  horse's  head  home 
ward. 

Smithfield  let  him  in,  as  calm  and  imperturbable 
as  ever. 

185 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN) 

"  Your  afternoon  been  satisfactory,  Smith- 
field?  "  inquired  his  employer. 

Smithfield  stared. 

"  I  beg  pardon,  sir?  " 

"  Have  you  succeeded  in  finding  a  boy  to  re 
place  Brindlebury?  " 

The  butler's  face  cleared. 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  believe  I  have  —  not  a  boy,  exactly, 
quite  an  elderly  man,  but  one  who  promises  to 
do,  sir." 

"  Good."  Crane  turned  away,  but  the  man  fol 
lowed  him. 

"  Miss  Falkener  asked  me  to  tell  you  when  you 
came  in,  sir,  that  she  would  be  glad  of  a  word  with 
you.  She  's  in  your  office." 

Crane  stood  absolutely  still  for  a  second  or  two, 
and  as  he  stood,  his  jaw  slowly  set,  as  he  took  a 
resolution.  Then  he  opened  the  door  of  his  of 
fice  and  went  in. 

Two  personalities  sometimes  advance  to  a  meet 
ing  with  intentions  as  opposite  as  those  of  two 
trains  on  a  single  track.  Crane  and  Cora  were 
both  too  much  absorbed  in  their  own  aims  to  ob 
serve  the  signals  of  the  other. 

186 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Cora,"  began  Crane,  with  all  the  solemnity  of 
which  the  two  syllables  were  capable. 

"  Oh,  Burton,"  cried  the  girl,  "  why  did  you 
leave  Mr.  Eliot's  like  that?  It  has  worried  me  so 
much.  Did  anything  happen  to  annoy  you? 
What  was  it?" 

"  I  sent  the  car  right  back  for  you." 

"  It  was  n't  the  car  I  wanted." 

Crane  began  at  once  to  feel  guilty,  the  form 
of  egotism  hardest  to  eradicate  from  the  human 
heart. 

"  I  'm  sorry  if  I  seemed  rude,  my  dear  Cora. 
I  thought  you  were  settled  and  content  with  Lef- 
ferts.  I  did  not  suppose  any  one  would  no 
tice  — " 

"Your  absence?     Oh,  Burt!" 

He  became  aware  of  a  suppressed  excitement, 
an  imminent  outburst  of  some  sort  A  sudden 
terror  swept  over  him,  terror  of  the  future,  of 
the  deed  he  was  about  to  do,  terror  even  of  this 
strange  and  utterly  unknown  woman  whom  he 
was  about  to  make  a  part  of  his  daily  life,  as  long 
as  days  existed.  For  a  second  he  had  an  illusion 
that  he  had  never  seen,  never  spoken  to  her  be- 

187 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

fore,  and  as  he  struggled  against  this  queer  ab 
normality,  he  heard  that  in  set,  clear  and  not 
ill-chosen  terms  he  was  asking  her  to  marry 
him. 

She  clasped  her  hands  together. 

"  Oh,  it 's  just  what  I  was  trying  to  prevent." 

"To  prevent?" 

"  Burt,  I  Ve  treated  you  so  badly." 

He  looked  at  her  without  expression. 

"  Well,  let 's  get  the  facts  before  we  decide  on 
that." 

The  facts,  Cora  intimated,  were  terrible.  She 
was  already  engaged. 

"To  Lefferts?" 

She  nodded  tragically. 

Crane  felt  a  strong  inclination  to  laugh.  The 
world  took  on  a  new  aspect.  Reality  returned 
with  a  rush,  and  with  it  a  strong,  friendly  affec 
tion  for  Cora.  He  hardly  heard  her  long  and 
passionate  self-justification.  She  knew,  she  said, 
that  she  had  given  him  every  encouragement. 
Well,  the  truth  was  she  had  simply  made  up  her 
mind  to  marry  him;  nothing  would  have  pleased 
her  mother  more,  but  she  did  not  intend  to  shelter 

188 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

herself  behind  obedience  to  her  mother;  she  had 
intended  to  do  it  for  her  own  ends. 

'  That  was  what  I  tried  to  tell  you  last  evening 
in  the  garden,  Burt.  I  deliberately  schemed  to 
marry  you,  but  you  must  n't  think  I  did  not  like 
and  admire  you,  in  a  way  — " 

"  There  's  only  one  way,  Cora." 

This  sent  her  off  again  into  the  depths  of  self- 
abasement.  She  had  no  excuse  to  offer,  she  kept 
protesting,  and  offered  a  dozen;  the  most  potent 
being  her  uncertainty  of  Crane's  own  feelings  for 
her. 

'  You  behaved  so  strangely  for  a  man  in  love, 
Burt,"  she  wailed,  "  I  was  never  sure." 

;'  In  the  sense  you  mean,  I  was  not  in  love  with 
you,  Cora." 

"  And  yet,  you  want  to  marry  me?  " 

"  In  your  own  words,  I  liked  and  admired  you, 
but  I  was  not  in  love.  The  humiliating  truth  is, 
my  dear  girl,  that  I  was  so  fatuous  as  to  believe 
that  you  were  fond  of  me." 

There  was  a  short  silence,  and  then  Cora  ex 
claimed  candidly: 

"Aren't  people  queer!  Here  I  have  been 
189 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

worrying  myself  sick  over  my  treatment  of  you, 
and  now  that  I  find  you  are  not  made  unhappy 
by  it,  do  you  know  what  I  feel?  Disappointed, 
disappointed  somehow,  that  you  don't  love 
me!" 

Crane  laughed. 

"  I  also,"  he  said,  "  have  been  slightly  oppressed 
by  the  responsibility  of  your  fancied  affection,  and 
I,  too,  am  conscious  of  a  certain  flatness  in  facing 
the  truth." 

Cora  hardly  listened. 

"  It  seems  so  queer  you  don't  love  me," 
she  murmured.  "  Why  don't  you  love  me, 
Burt?" 

At  this  they  both  laughed,  and  went  on  presently 
to  the  more  detailed  consideration  of  Cora's  af 
fairs.  She  and  Lefferts  had  met  the  winter  be 
fore;  she  had  not  liked  him  at  first,  prejudiced 
perhaps  by  the  fact  that  he  was  a  poet,  and  that 
he  pretended  to  dislike  all  the  things  she  cared  for, 
but  she  had  found,  almost  at  once,  that  he  under 
stood  more  about  the  things  he  hated  than  most 
men  did  about  their  favorite  topics. 

"  He 's  really  wonderful,  Burt,"  she  said. 
190 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  He  understands  everything,  every  one.  Do  you 
know,  he  told  me  yesterday  that  I  need  n't  worry 
about  you  —  that  you  were  n't  in  love  with  me. 
Only  I  did  not  believe  him.  He  said :  '  What 
confuses  you,  my  dear,  is  that  Crane  is  undoubt 
edly  in  love,  one  sees  that  clearly  enough,  but  not 
with  you.'  ' 

"  He  did  not  just  hit  it  there,  though,"  an 
swered  Crane,  in  a  rather  feeble  tone.  Cora, 
however,  was  in  a  condition  of  mind  in  which  it 
was  not  difficult  to  distract  her,  and  she  continued 
without  paying  any  further  attention  to  the  ex 
ample  of  Lefferts'  extraordinary  insight.  She 
went  on  to  say  that  she  had  had  no  idea  that  she 
was  in  love,  until  one  day  when  she  found  herself 
speaking  of  it  as  if  it  had  always  been.  Crane 
asked  about  Lefferts'  worldly  prospects,  which 
turned  out  to  be  extremely  dark.  Had  he  a  pro 
fession?  Yes,  such  a  strange  one  for  a  poet  — 
he  was  an  expert  statistician,  but,  Cora  sighed, 
there  did  not  seem  to  be  a  very  large  demand  for 
his  abilities. 

Among  the  many  minor  responsibilities  in 
herited  from  his  father,  Crane  remembered  a  sta- 

191 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

tistical  publication.  He  immediately  offered  its 
editorship  to  Lefferts.  Cora's  answer  was  to  fling 
her  arms  about  his  neck. 

"  Oh,  Burt,"  she  said,  "  you  really  are  an 
angel !  " 

It  was  Crane's  idea  of  what  would  have  hap 
pened  if  Mrs.  Falkener  had  entered  at  this  mo 
ment,  which  she  did  not,  that  made  him  ask  how 
matters  stood  in  regard  to  her. 

"  She  does  n't  know,"  answered  Cora,  "  and  I 
don't  think  she  even  suspects,  and  I  'm  such  a  cow 
ard  I  can't  make  up  my  mind  to  tell  her.  Every 
time  I  see  Leonard  he  asks  me  if  I  have,  and  now 
he  is  threatening  to  do  it  himself,  and  that  you 
know,  Burt,  would  be  fatal." 

"  Cora,"  said  Crane,  "  I  am  about  to  prove  that 
I  am  no  fair  weather  friend.  With  your  permis 
sion,  I  will  tell  your  mother." 

No  permission  was  ever  more  easily  secured. 

It  was  now  five  o'clock,  an  hour  when  the  elder 
lady  became  restless  if  not  served  with  a  little  tea 
and  attention.  Crane  rang  and  ordered  tea  for 
two  served  in  the  office,  and  then  sent  Smithfield 
to  ask  Mrs.  Falkener  if  he  might  have  a  word  with 

192 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

her.  She  and  her  daughter  passed  each  other  on 
the  threshold. 

"How  cozy  this  is,"  she  began  as  she  seated 
herself  by  the  fire.  "  Smithfield  keeps  the  silver 
bright,  but  I  'm  afraid  he  has  no  judgment. 
Have  you  seen  the  man  he  has  engaged  instead  of 
that  dreadful  boy?  —  why,  he  's  so  old  and  lame 
he  can  hardly  get  up  and  down  stairs.  He  '11 
never  do,  Burton,  take  my  word  for  that." 

"  I  have  something  more  serious  to  say  to  you 
than  the  discussion  of  domestic  matters,  Mrs. 
Falkener,"  said  Crane;  and  for  one  of  the  few 
times  in  her  life,  Mrs.  Falkener  forgot  that  the 
house  contained  such  a  thing  as  servants.  A 
more  important  idea  took  possession  of  her  at 
tention. 

Burton  began  to  speak  about  romance.  He 
said  he  did  not  know  exactly  how  an  older  genera 
tion  than  his  looked  at  such  questions ;  for  his  own 
part,  he  regarded  himself  in  many  ways  as  a  prac 
tical  and  hard-headed  man,  and  yet  more  and 
more  he  found  himself  gravitating  to  the  belief 
that  romance,  love,  the  drawing  together  for  mu 
tual  strength  and  happiness  of  two  individuals, 

193 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

was  the  only  basis  for  individual  life.  People 
talked  of  the  modern  taste  for  luxury;  to  his  mind 
there  was  no  luxury  like  a  congenial  companion, 
no  hardship  like  having  to  go  through  life  with 
out  it.  Love  —  did  Mrs.  Falkener  believe  in 
love? 

"Do  I  believe  in  love,  my  dear  Burt?"  she 
cried.  "What  else  is  there  to  believe  in?  No 
girl,  no  nice  girl,  ever  marries  for  any  other, 
reason.  Oh,  they  try  sometimes  to  be  mercen 
ary,  but  they  don't  succeed.  I  could  never  for 
give  a  woman  for  considering  anything  else." 

"  I  thought  you  would  feel  like  that,"  said 
Crane.  "  I  thought  Cora  was  wrong  in  thinking 
you  would  oppose  her.  For,  prudent  or  not  from 
a  worldly  point  of  view,  there  is  no  doubt  that  she 
and  Lefferts  are  in  love." 

The  blow  was  a  cruel  one,  and  perhaps  cruelly 
administered.  Mrs.  Falkener,  even  in  the  first 
instant  of  disaster,  saw  and  took  the  only  way  out. 
Love,  yes.  But  this  was  not  love,  this  was  a  mere 
infatuation  on  one  side,  and  a  dark  and  wicked 
plot  on  the  other.  She  would  never  forgive  Bur 
ton,  never,  for  being  a  party  to  this  scheme  to 

194 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

throw  her  daughter,  her  dear  Cora,  into  the  arms 
of  this  adventurer.  Burton,  who  had  always  pro 
fessed  such  friendship  for  her!  She  would  not 
stay  another  moment  in  his  house.  There  was  a 
six-thirty  train  to  the  North,  and  she  and  her  mis 
guided  daughter  would  take  it. 

Crane  began  to  see  why  Cora,  for  all  her  phys 
ical  courage,  dreaded  a  disagreement  with  her 
mother.  He  himself  felt  as  if  an  avalanche  had 
passed  over  him,  leaving  him  alive  but  dazed. 

Mrs.  Falkener  sat  with  her  handkerchief 
pressed  to  her  eyes,  not  so  much  to  wipe  away  her 
tears,  for  she  was  not  crying,  but  to  shut  out  the 
sight  of  her  perfidious  young  host. 

"  Be  so  kind,"  she  directed  from  behind  this 
veil,  "  as  to  give  orders  for  the  packing  of  my 
trunks,  and  let  Cora  know  that  we  are  leaving  im 
mediately." 

Burton  hesitated. 

"  I  am  afraid,  since  the  housemaid  has  left, 
there  is  n't  any  one  to  pack  for  you,  Mrs.  Falk 
ener,"  he  said.  "  Won't  you  delay  your  going  un 
til  to-morrow  ?  I  can't  bear  to  have  you  leave  me 
like  this." 

195 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

Mrs.  Falkener  shook  her  head. 

"  Call  Solon,"  she  said.  "  No,  don't  ask  me  to 
stay.  And  why,  pray,  can't  the  cook  make  herself 
useful,  for  once?  " 

Mrs.  Falkener  was  not,  of  course,  in  a  position 
to  know  that  Crane  would  not  at  the  moment  stoop 
to  ask  any  favor  of  Jane-Ellen.  He  was  glad  of 
an  excuse  to  escape,  however,  and  summon  Solon 
to  take  his  place.  He  found  Smithfield  in  the 
hall  and  explained  to  him  that  the  ladies  were 
called  suddenly  away,  and  then  he  himself  walked 
down  to  the  garage  to  arrange  for  their  departure. 

When  he  came  back  he  found  the  house  in  the 
sort  of  turmoil  that  only  a  thoroughly  executive 
woman  in  a  bad  temper  can  create.  Smithfield, 
Cora  and  Jane-Ellen  seemed  to  be  all  together  en 
gaged  in  packing.  Solon  and  the  new  man  were 
running  up  and  down  stairs  with  forgotten  books 
and  coats  and  umbrellas,  while  Mrs.  Falkener  was 
exercising  a  general  and  unflattering  supervision 
of  every  one's  activities.  To  say  the  new  man 
was  running  is  inaccurate.  Even  Tucker's  digni 
fied  celerity  hardly  deserves  such  a  word.  But 
the  new  man,  crippled  and  bent  as  he  was,  attained 

196 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

only  such  velocity  as  was  consistent  with  a  per 
fectly  stiff  left  leg.  Crane  really  felt  he  ought  to 
interfere  on  his  behalf,  when  he  saw  him  laboring 
downstairs  with  heavy  bags  and  bundles.  He 
probably  would  have  done  so,  had  not  his  mind 
been  distracted  by  coming  unexpectedly  upon  a 
little  scene  in  the  upper  hall.  Cora  was  trying  to 
press  a  fee  into  the  hand  of  Jane-Ellen,  and  Jane- 
Ellen  was  refusing  it.  Both  were  flushed  and  em 
barrassed. 

"  I  wanted  to  give  you  this  because — " 

"  Oh,  I  could  n't,  really;  I  Ve  not  done  any  — " 

41  Oh,  you  've  been  such  a  — " 

"  Oh,  no,  miss,  I  've  not  done  — " 

The  approach  of  Crane  enabled  the  cook  to  es 
cape.  Cora  turned  to  Burton. 

"  She  's  worked  so  hard,  and  she  would  n't  take 
a  tip,"  she  said.  "  And  you  never  felt  anything 
like  her  little  hands,  Burt.  It 's  like  touching  a 
bird." 

*  Yes,  I  know,"  said  Crane.  "  I  mean,  they 
look  so.  I  want  just  a  word  with  you,  Cora," 
he  continued,  rather  rapidly.  "  I  'm  afraid  I 
have  n't  done  you  much  good  except  that  your 

197 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

mother  is  angrier  with  me  than  she  is  with  you,  and 
that 's  something." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  care,  now  it 's  over,"  she  an 
swered.  "  And  you  '11  tell  Len  this  evening  all 
that 's  happened,  and  where  to  write  to  me,  and 
we  shall  both  be  grateful  to  you  as  long  as  we 
live." 

At  this  moment,  Mrs.  Falkener  in  hat,  veil,  and 
wrap  swept  out  of  her  room,  followed  by  Smith- 
field,  Tucker  and  the  old  man,  carrying  the  last  of 
her  possessions.  The  moment  of  departure  had 
come. 


198 


X 

AFTER  the  departure  of  the  ladies,  Tucker 
and  Crane  stood  an  instant  in  silence  on  the 
piazza.  Solon,  who  had  been  waked  from  his  cus 
tomary  afternoon  nap  by  the  frantic  summons  of 
Mrs.  Falkener,  was  still  a  little  confused  as  to  all 
that  had  happened,  and  had  gathered  nothing 
clearly  except  that  Burton  was  in  some  way  very 
much  to  be  blamed. 

"  It 's  too  bad,"  he  observed,  "  to  have  them  go 
off  like  that.  We  shall  miss  them,  I  fear." 

Crane  was  standing  with  his  hands  in  his  pock 
ets,  watching  the  tail-light  as  it  disappeared  down 
the  drive. 

"  Let  us  avoid  that,  Tuck,  by  going  away  our 
selves." 

"  You  mean  to  leave  here?  " 

'*  Why  not?  The  experiment  has  not  struck 
me  as  a  very  happy  one.  Our  servants  have  gone, 
our  guests  have  left  us,  and  for  my  part,  I  am 
eager  to  be  off  as  well." 

199 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

The  time  had  come,  then,  when  Jane-Ellen  was 
to  be  friendless  and  out  of  a  job;  the  third  act  was 
here. 

"  Anything  that  suits  you  pleases  me,  Burton," 
said  Tucker. 

"  In  that  case,"  answered  Crane,  "  I  will  tele 
phone  Reed  to  come  over  at  once  and  make  ar 
rangements  for  giving  up  the  house.  We  can't, 
I  suppose,  catch  that  night  train,  but  with  luck  we 
may  get  away  to-morrow  morning." 
'  You  seem  in  a  great  hurry." 

"  I  'd  like  never  to  see  the  place  again,"  re 
turned  Burton. 

In  the  moment  of  silence  that  followed  this 
heartfelt  exclamation,  a  figure  came  briskly  around 
the  corner  of  the  piazza,  a  figure  discernible  in 
the  light  shed  by  the  front  door. 

"  Oh,  come  here,"  said  Crane. 

The  figure  betrayed  no  sign  of  having  heard,  un 
less  a  slight  accentuation  in  its  limp  might  be  so 
interpreted. 

"  What 's  your  name?  "  shouted  Burton. 

The  old  man  looked  up. 

"  Yes,  yes,"  he  said,  in  a  high  shaking  voice, 
200 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  I  'm  lame;  you  're  right  there,  sir.  I  Ve  been 
lame  these  twenty  years,  and  carrying  down  all 
them  trunks  has  put  sich  a  crick  in  my  back  as 
never  was." 

"  I  asked  you  your  name,"  repeated  his  em 
ployer. 

"When  I  came?  Why,  this  afternoon,  sir. 
It  was  your  butler  engaged  me.  I  worked  at  the 
hotel  here  once,  and  Mr.  Smithfield  he  come  to 
my  wife  and  says,  '  Susan,'  he  says,  he  knowing 
her  since  he  was  a  little  boy  — " 

"  Let  me  look  at  you,"  said  Crane  sternly. 

But  the  elderly  man,  still  talking  to  himself, 
retreated  into  the  shadow. 

And  then  Tucker  was  surprised  to  hear  his  host 
exclaim  with  violence : 

"  By  Jove,  the  young  devil,"  and  to  see  him 
hurl  himself  off  the  piazza  at  its  highest  point. 
He  would  have  landed  actually  on  top  of  his  de 
crepit  servitor,  had  not  the  old  man  developed  an 
activity  utterly  unsuspected  by  Tucker,  which  en 
abled  him  to  get  away  down  the  avenue  with  a 
speed  that  Crane  could  not  surpass. 

'  Well,  well,  what  are  we  coming  to?  "  Tucker 
201 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

murmured  as  he  watched  them  dodge  and  double 
around  trees  and  bushes.  Presently  they  passed 
out  of  the  light  from  the  house,  and  only  the 
sound  of  their  feet  beating  on  the  hard  avenue  in 
dicated  that  the  fugitive  had  taken  to  the  open. 

Solon  was  still  peering  nervously  into  the  dark 
when  at  last  his  host  returned.  Crane  was  breath 
ing  hard,  and  held  in  his  hand  a  small  furry  object 
that  Tucker  made  out  gradually  to  be  a  neat  gray 
wig. 

"  Oh,"  said  Burton,  still  panting  and  slapping 
his  side,  "  I  have  n't  run  so  hard  since  I  was  in  col 
lege.  But  I  should  have  got  him  if  it  had  n't  been 
for  his  superior  knowledge  of  the  ground." 

"  My  dear  Burton,"  said  Tucker  crossly,  "  what 
in  the  world  have  you  been  doing?  " 

"What  have  I  been  doing?  I  Ve  been  trying 
to  catch  that  wretched  boy,  Brindlebury,  but  it 's 
as  well  I  did  n't,  I  dare  say.  I  thought  his  limp 
a  little  spectacular  this  afternoon  when  the  trunks 
were  being  carried  down.  But  his  deafness  — 
the  young  fool !  —  that  deafness,  never  found  any 
where  but  on  the  comic  stage,  was  too  much  for 
me.  He  runs  fast,  I  '11  say  that  for  him.  He  led 

202 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

me  through  a  bramble  hedge;  backed  through, 
himself.  That 's  when  I  got  his  wig." 

"  I  should  not  be  surprised  if  we  all  were  mur 
dered  in  our  beds,"  said  Tucker. 

"  That 's  right,  Tuck,"  said  Crane,  "  look  on 
the  cheerful  side.  Come  with  me  now,  while  I 
speak  to  Smithfield.  I  want  to  know  what  he  has 
to  say  for  himself." 

Smithfield,  looking  particularly  elegant  in  his 
shirt  sleeves,  a  costume  which  shows  off  a  slim 
figure  to  great  advantage,  was  rather  languidly 
setting  the  dinner-table  for  two ;  that  is  to  say,  he 
was  rubbing  a  wine-glass,  shaped  like  a  miniature 
New  England  elm-tree,  to  remove  the  faint  im 
print  of  his  own  fingers. 

"  Smithfield,"  said  Crane  briskly,  "  I  'm  afraid 
your  new  useful  man  is  n't  going  to  be  very  use 
ful.  He  seems  to  me  too  old." 

Smithfield  placed  the  glass  deliberately  upon  the 
table. 

"  He  's  not  so  old  as  he  appears,  sir,"  he  an 
swered.  "  Only  sixty-six  his  next  birthday." 

"  A  married  man?  " 

"  No,  sir,  a  widower  of  many  years.  His  wife 
203, 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

died  when  her  first  baby  was  born  —  that's  Mr. 
Crosslett-Billington's  present  chauffeur.  That 's 
how  I  happened  to  get  the  old  fellow.  And  when 
the  rheumatism — " 

"  Smithfield,"  said  Crane,  "  that 's  about 
enough.  Put  down  that  glass,  put  on  your  coat 
and  hat,  and  get  out.  You  're  lying  to  me,  and 
you  Ve  been  lying  to  me  from  the  beginning,. 
Don't  stay  to  pack  your  things ;  you  can  settle  all 
that  with  Mr.  Reed  to-morrow.  Get  out  of  my 
house,  and  don't  let  me  see  you  again.  And,"  he 
added,  throwing  the  gray  wig  into  his  hands, 
"  there  's  a  souvenir  for  you." 

Smithfield,  without  the  least  change  of  expres 
sion,  caught  the  wig,  bowed,  and  withdrew. 

"  And  now,  Tuck,"  Crane  added,  turning  to  his 
lawyer,  "  I  wish  you  would  go  and  telephone  Reed 
to  come  here  at  once  and  clear  this  whole  thing 
up.  Tell  him  I  '11  send  the  motor  for  him  as  soon 
as  it  comes  back." 

"  It 's  dinner-time  now,"  observed  Tucker. 

"  Ask  him  to  dinner  then,"  said  Crane.  "  I 
must  go  and  see  that  Smithfield  really  gets  out  of 
this  house." 

204 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

Both  tasks  had  been  accomplished  when  at  about 
eight  o'clock  Tucker  and  Crane  again  met  in  the 
hall.  Smithfield  had  been  actually  seen  off  the 
place,  Tucker  had  telephoned  Reed  and  despatched 
the  motor  for  him,  and  now  the  sound  of  an  ap 
proaching  car  was  heard. 

"  That  can't  be  Reed,  yet,"  said  Tucker,  "  there 
has  n't  been  time." 

Crane  shook  his  head. 

"  It  is  n't  the  sound  of  my  engine,  either,"  he 
answered. 

Headlights  came  sweeping  up  the  drive,  and  a 
few  minutes  later,  Lefferts,  in  full  evening  dress, 
entered  the  house. 

"  I  'm  afraid  I  'm  a  little  bit  late,"  he  said,  "  but 
I  missed  a  turn." 

For  an  instant  Crane  regarded  him  blankly. 
Then  he  remembered  that  once,  ages  before,  or 
perhaps  no  earlier  than  that  very  afternoon,  he 
had  invited  Lefferts  to  dinner.  And  at  the  same 
time  he  realized  what  had  not  heretofore  occurred 
to  him,  that  there  was  no  one  in  the  house  to  serve 
dinner,  except  Jane-Ellen,  who  had,  in  all  proba 
bility,  cooked  dinner  for  only  two.  Reed  might 

205 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

be  there  at  any  minute.  It  was  really  necessary, 
in  so  acute  a  domestic  crisis,  to  put  pride  in  his 
pocket  and  go  downstairs  and  speak  to  his  cook. 

He  put  his  hand  on  Lefferts'  shoulder. 

"  Awfully  sorry,  my  dear  fellow,"  he  said, 
"  that  things  are  not  quite  as  anticipated.  Tucker 
will  tell  you  we  have  had  rather  a  stormy  after 
noon.  Give  him  a  cigarette  and  a  cocktail,  Tuck, 
and  I  '11  be  back  in  a  minute."  He  disappeared 
down  the  kitchen  stairs. 

With  what  different  feelings,  he  said  to  himself, 
did  he  now  descend  those  stairs;  but,  when  he 
was  actually  in  the  kitchen,  when  Willoughby  was 
once  again  bounding  forward  to  greet  him,  and 
Jane-Ellen  was  allowing  herself  that  slow  curved 
smile  of  hers,  he  was  surprised  and  disappointed  to 
find  that  his  feelings  were,  after  all,  much  the  same 
as  before.  Over  his  manner,  however,  he  was 
still  master,  and  that  was  cold  and  formal  in  the 
extreme. 

"  I  wanted  to  speak  to  you,  Jane-Ellen,"  he  be 
gan,  but  she  interrupted. 

"  This  time,"  she  said  gaily,  u  I  know  what  it  is 
that  you  are  going  to  scold  about." 

206 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  I  am  not  going  to  scold." 

She  laughed. 

"  Well,  that 's  a  wonder,"  and  glancing  at  him 
she  was  astonished  to  find  no  answering  smile. 
"  Are  you  really  angry  at  me,"  she  asked,  "  on  ac 
count  of  this  afternoon?  " 

"This  afternoon?" 

"  On  account  of  that  silly  plan  about  Brindle- 
bury?  I  did  not  know  they  were  going  to  do  it, 
and  when  it  was  done,  I  could  n't  betray  them, 
could  I?" 

Crane  made  a  gesture  that  seemed  to  indicate 
that  he  really  had  no  means  of  judging  what  his 
cook  might  or  might  not  do. 

"  You  believe  me,  don't  you?  " 

"  Believe  you?  "  said  Crane.  "  I  have  n't  con 
sidered  the  question  one  way  or  the  other." 

"  Why,  Mr.  Crane,"  said  Jane-Ellen,  "  what 
ever  has  come  over  you  that  you  should  speak  like 
that?" 

'  This  has  come  over  me,"  answered  Crane, 
"  that  I  came  down  here  in  a  hurry  to  give 
some  orders  and  not  to  discuss  the  question  of  ve 
racity." 

207 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

The  figure  of  Jane-Ellen  stiffened,  she  clasped 
her  hands  behind  her  back. 

"And  what  are  your  orders?"  she  said,  in  a 
tone  of  direful  monotony. 

Crane,  as  has  been  stated,  was  no  coward,  and 
even  if  he  had  been,  anger  would  have  lent  him 
courage. 

"  There  are  two  gentlemen  coming  to  dine  — 
four  in  all,"  and  as  he  saw  Jane-Ellen  slightly  beck 
her  head  at  this,  he  added  recklessly,  "  as  Smith- 
field  is  gone,  you  will  have  to  serve  dinner  as  well 
as  cook  it." 

"  No,"  replied  the  cook.  "  No,  indeed.  Cer 
tainly  not.  I  was  engaged  to  cook,  and  I  will 
cook  to  the  very  best  of  my  abilities,  but  I  was  not 
engaged  to  be  a  maid  of  all  work." 

'  You  were  engaged  to  do  as  you  're  told." 

"  There  you  are  mistaken." 

"  Jane-Ellen,  you  will  serve  dinner." 

"  Mr.  Crane,  I  will  not." 

The  problem  of  the  irresistible  force  and  the 
immovable  body  seemed  about  to  be  demonstrated. 
They  looked  each  other  steadily  and  hostilely  in 
the  eyes. 

208 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

'  We  seem,"  said  Crane,  "  to  be  dealing  with 
the  eternal  problem  between  employer  and  em 
ployee.  You  're  not  lazy,  the  work  before  you  is 
nothing,  but  you  deliberately  choose  to  stand  on 
your  rights,  on  a  purely  technical  point — " 

"  I  do  nothing  of  the  kind." 

'  What  are  you  doing  then?  " 

"  I  'm  making  myself  just  as  disagreeable  as 
I  can,"  answered  Jane-Ellen.  "  Of  course,  I 
should  have  been  delighted  to  do  anything  for  any 
one  who  asked  me  politely.  But  when  a  man 
comes  into  my  kitchen  and  talks  about  giving  or 
ders,  and  my  doing  as  I  'm  told,  and  serving  din 
ner,  why,  my  answer  is,  he  ought  to  have  thought 
of  his  extra  guests  before  he  dismissed  my 
brothers  — " 

"Your  brothers!"  cried  Crane.  "Do  you 
mean  to  say  that  Smithfield  is  your  brother  too?  " 

"  Well,  I  did  n't  mean  to  tell  you,"  said  the 
cook  crossly,  "  but  it  happens  to  be  true." 

From  the  point  of  view  of  the  irresistible  force, 
the  problem  was  now  completely  resolved. 

"  O  Jane-Ellen!  "  he  cried,  "  why  in  the  world 
did  n't  you  tell  me  so  before?  " 

.209 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

"  I  can't  see  what  it  has  to  do  with  things." 

"  It  has  everything,"  he  answered.  "  It  makes 
me  see  how  wrong  I  have  been,  how  rude.  It 
makes  me  want  to  apologize  for  everything  I  have 
said  since  I  came  into  the  kitchen.  It  makes  me 
ask  you  most  humbly  if  you  won't  help  me  out  in 
the  ridiculous  situation  in  which  I  find  myself." 

"  But  I  don't  see  why  Smithfield's  being  — " 

"  It  would  take  a  long  time  to  explain,"  an 
swered  Burton,  "  although,  I  assure  you,  it  can  and 
shall  be  done.  Perhaps  this  evening,  after  these 
tiresome  men  have  gone,  you  will  give  me  a  few 
minutes.  In  the  meantime,  just  let  me  say  that  I 
was  angry  at  you,  however  wrongly,  when  I  came 
down  — " 

"  I  'm  not  sure  but  that  I  'm  still  angry  at  you," 
said  the  cook,  but  she  smiled  as  she  said  it. 

"  You  have  every  right  to  be,  and  no  reason," 
he  returned.  "  And  you  are  going  to  be  an  angel 
and  serve  dinner,  are  n't  you?  " 

"  I  said  I  would  if  asked  politely." 

"  Though  how  in  the  world  I  shall  sit  still  and 
let  you  wait  on  me,  I  don't  see." 

"  Oh,"  said  Jane-Ellen,  "  if  you  never  have 
210 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

anything  harder  to  do  than  that,  you  are  very  dif 
ferent  from  most  of  your  sex.  And  now,"  she 
added,  "  I  'd  better  run  upstairs  and  put  two  more 
places  at  the  table,  for  it 's  dinner-time  already." 

"  If  I  come  back  later  in  the  evening,  you  won't 
turn  me  out  of  the  kitchen?  " 

She  was  already  on  her  way  upstairs,  but  she 
turned  with  a  smile. 

"  It 's  your  kitchen,  sir,"  she  said. 

Crane  followed  her  slowly.  It  occurred  to  him 
that  he  must  have  a  talk  with  Lefferts.  He  found 
him  and  Tucker  making  rather  heavy  weather  of 
conversation  in  the  drawing-room.  Tucker  had 
naturally  enough  determined  to  adopt  Mrs.  Falk- 
ener's  views  of  Lefferts.  He  had  conformed  with 
Crane's  request  and  given  the  poet  a  cigarette  and 
a  cocktail,  but  he  had  attempted  no  explanation  be 
yond  an  unsatisfactory  statement  that  the  ladies 
had  been  called  away  unexpectedly. 

"  Nothing  serious,  I  hope,"  Lefferts  had  said. 

;'  I  hope  not,"  Tucker  had  returned,  and  not 
another  word  would  he  utter  on  the  subject. 

Lefferts  was,  therefore,  glad  to  respond  to 
Crane's  invitation  to  come  into  the  office  for  a  few 

211 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

minutes  and  leave  Tucker  to  the  contemplation  of 
his  own  loyalty. 

Left  alone,  Tucker's  eager  ears  soon  detected 
the  sound  of  dishes  in  the  dining-room,  and  he 
knew  that  this  could  be  produced  by  the  hand  of 
no  other  than  Jane-Ellen.  The  moment  seemed 
to  have  been  especially  designed  for  his  purpose, 
and  he  decided  to  take  advantage  of  it. 

Jane-Ellen  was  setting  the  table  with  far  more 
energy  than  Smithfield  had  displayed;  in  fact  her 
task  was  almost  finished  when  Tucker  entered, 
and,  advancing  to  the  mantelpiece,  leaned  his  el 
bow  on  the  shelf  and  smiled  down  upon  her 
benevolently. 

'  The  time  has  come  sooner  than  we  anticipated 
when  I  can  be  of  assistance  to  you,  Jane-Ellen," 
he  said. 

'  Yes,  indeed,  sir,"  she  returned  with  a  prompt 
ness  that  fifteen  years  before  would  have  made  his 
heart  beat  faster. 

"  Thank  you  for  giving  me  the  opportunity." 

"  The  finger-bowls,  sir,"  she  interrupted,  flick 
ing  a  napkin  in  their  direction,  "  they  ought  to  be 
filled;  not  too  full,  sir;  that's  quite  enough,  it 

212 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

is  n't  a  tub,  you  know.  And  now,  if  you  Ve  a 
match  about  you,  and  gentlemen  always  have 
matches,  I  believe,  would  you  light  the  candles, 
and  then,  yes,  I  do  think  we  're  about  ready  now." 

Tucker,  who  could  not  very  well  refuse  such 
trivial  services  when  he  was  offering  one  much 
more  momentous,  poured  a  little  water  from  the 
ice  pitcher  into  the  glass  finger-bowls,  but  he  did  it 
with  such  dignity  and  from  such  a  height  that  he 
spilled  much  of  it  over  the  doilies.  The  cook  did 
not  reprove  him  directly,  but  she  changed  the  doily 
with  a  manner  that  seemed  to  suggest  that  another 
time  she  would  do  the  job  herself.  And  when 
Tucker  took  a  neat  gold  match-box  from  his 
pocket  and  prepared  to  light  the  candles,  she  coolly 
took  the  whole  thing  out  of  his  hands,  remarking 
that  he  might  set  the  shades  on  fire  and  then 
they  'd  be  in  what  she  described  as  "  a  nice  way." 

Observing  that  she  was  about  to  leave  the  room, 
he  put  himself  before  the  door. 

"  I  want  just  a  word,  Jane-Ellen." 

"  No  time  now,  sir.  Perhaps  to-morrow  morn- 
ing." 

'  To-morrow  will  be  too  late.  You  must  know 
213 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

this  evening.  I  don't  want  to  say  a  word  against 
Mr.  Crane;  young  men  who  have  always  had 
everything  they  want  are  naturally  thoughtless. 
But  I  can't  bear  to  see  you  turned  out  at  a  mo 
ment's  notice  — " 

"Turned  out?" 

*  Yes,  Mr.  Crane  is  going  either  to-night  or 
to-morrow  morning.  Didn't  he  tell  you?" 

He  had  her  attention  now.  She  looked  at  him 
intently. 

"  Mr.  Crane  going?  I  thought  he  had  the 
house  for  six  weeks." 

"  So  he  had,  but  he  's  bored  with  it.  Miss 
Falkener  has  gone,  and  he  sees  no  reason  for  stay 
ing  on.  He  '11  be  off  either  at  midnight  or  in  the 
morning.  You  're  about  to  lose  your  place,  Jane- 
Ellen." 

She  stood  staring  before  her  so  blankly  that  it 
grieved  him  to  see  her  so  deeply  concerned  about 
the  loss  of  her  position,  and  he  pressed  on. 

"  I  can't  bear  to  think  of  your  comfort  being  de 
pendent  on  the  caprices  of  Crane,  or  any  one. 
Come  to  me,  Jane-Ellen.  This  is  no  life  for  youf 
with  your  youth  and  beauty  and  charm.  I  could 

214 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

offer  you  a  position  that  you  need  never  leave, 
never,  unless  you  wanted  to  — " 

"  Please  move  from  the  door,  sir." 

"  Not  until  you  've  heard  me,"  and  he  moved 
toward  her  as  if  to  take  her  in  his  arms. 

At  some  previous  period  of  time,  the  Revellys, 
presided  over  by  a  less  elegant  functionary  than 
Smithfield,  must  have  been  in  the  habit  of  sum 
moning  the  family  to  meals  by  means  of  a  large 
Japanese  gong  that  now  stood  neglected  in  a  cor 
ner.  To  this,  Jane-Ellen  sprang,  and  beat  it  with 
a  vigor  that  made  the  house  resound. 

The  next  instant  Crane  burst  into  the  room. 

'What's  the  matter?"  he  exclaimed,  and 
added,  fixing  his  eyes  on  his  lawyer, 

'  What  the  deuce  are  you  doing  here,  Tuck?  " 

:'  I,"  said  Tucker,  "  was  giving  Jane-Ellen  what 
help  I  could  in  setting  the  table." 

"  Like  hell  you  were." 

"  Do  you  mean  you  doubt  what  I  say?  " 

"  You  bet  I  do." 

"  And  may  I  ask  what  you  do  think  I  was  do 
ing?  "  asked  Tucker. 

"  I  think  you  were  making  love  to  the  cook." 

215 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Gentlemen,  gentlemen,"  murmured  the  cook, 
"  won't  you  please  let  me  go  down  and  attend  to 
the  dinner.  The  chicken  will  be  terribly  over 
done." 

Nobody  paid  any  attention  to  the  request. 

"  Well,"  said  Tucker,  "  I  certainly  would  n't 
turn  a  poor  girl  out  at  a  few  hours'  notice,  as  you 
mean  to  do." 

;'  Who  says  I  mean  to?  " 
'  You  told  me  yourself  you  meant  to  leave  to 
morrow." 

"  And  what  kind  of  a  job  were  you  offering 
her?" 

"  I  tell  you  I  was  trying  to  help  her." 

"  And  is  that  why  she  rang  the  gong?  " 

"  She  rang  presumably  because  dinner  was 
ready." 

"  There  's  another  presumption  that  seems  to 
me  more  probable." 

"  Burton,  I  shall  not  spend  another  night  under 
your  roof." 

"  I  had  reached  the  same  conclusion." 

Tucker  turned  with  great  dignity. 

"  The  trouble  is,"  he  said,  "  that  you  have  not 
216 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

the  faintest  idea  of  the  conduct  of  a  gentleman," 
and  with  this  he  walked  slowly  from  the  room. 

The  cook  did  not  now  seem  so  eager  to  get  back 
to  the  kitchen.  She  stood  twisting  a  napkin  in  her 
hands  and  looking  at  the  floor,  not  unaware,  how 
ever,  that  her  employer  was  looking  at  her. 

"  The  trouble  really  is,  Jane-Ellen,"  he  said 
gently,  "  that  you  are  too  intolerably  lovely." 
,  "  Oh,  sir." 

"  '  Oh,  sir,  oh,  sir!  '  You  say  that  as  if  every 
man  you  knew  had  not  been  saying  the  same  thing 
to  you  for  the  last  five  years." 

Jane-Ellen  had  another  of  her  attacks  of  dan 
gerous  candor. 

'  Well,  a  good  many  have  said  it,  sir,"  she 
whispered,  "  but  it  never  sounded  to  me  as  it  did 
when  you  said  it."  And  after  this  she  had  the 
grace  to  dart  through  the  door  and  downstairs,  so 
fast  that  he  could  hear  her  little  heels  clatter  on 
each  step  as  she  went. 

In  the  hall  he  found  Tucker,  standing  under  a 
lamp,  studying  a  time-table,  with  glasses  set  very 
far  down  his  nose.  Opposite,  Lefferts  was  lean 
ing  against  the  wall,  his  arms  folded  and  the  ex- 

217 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

pression  on  his  face  of  one  who  has  happened  un 
expectedly  upon  a  very  good  moving  picture  show. 

Seeing  Crane,  Tucker  folded  up  his  time-table 
and  removed  his  glasses. 

'  Your  other  guest  has  just  arrived,"  he  ob 
served. 

"Oh,  is  Reed  here?" 

'  Yes,"  said  Lefferts,  "  he  's  in  your  office  tak 
ing  off  his  coat." 

"  And  you  may  be  interested  to  know,"  added 
Tucker,  with  a  biting  simplicity  that  had  impressed 
many  juries  in  its  time,  "  you  may  be  interested 
to  know  that  he  is  the  man  I  found  kissing  Jane- 
Ellen  last  week." 

"  What,  Reed !  "  cried  Crane,  with  a  gesture 
that  might  have  been  interpreted  as  ferocious. 

Hearing  his  name  called,  Reed  came  hurrying 
out. 

'  Yes,"  he  said,  advancing  with  outstretched 
hand,  "  here  I  am.  Sorry  to  be  late,  but  I  was 
ready  before  — " 

"  We  '11  go  in  to  dinner,"  said  Crane  shortly. 
Tucker  and  Reed  moved  first  toward  the  dining- 
room.  Lefferts  drew  his  host  aside. 

218 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

u  Just  one  moment,"  he  said.  "  You  went  off 
so  quickly  when  that  gong  rang  that  I  did  not  have 
any  chance  to  tell  you  how  I  feel  about  your  gen 
erosity.  It  makes  — " 

Crane  grasped  his  hand. 

'  You  have  an  opportunity  this  very  moment," 
he  replied,  "  to  repay  me  for  anything  I  ever  have 
done  or  may  do  for  you.  Talk,  my  dear  fellow, 
talk  at  dinner.  Do  nothing  but  talk.  Otherwise, 
I  shall  knock  those  two  men's  heads  together." 

Lefferts  smiled. 

"  I  doubt  if  you  'd  get  much  sense  into  them 
even  if  you  did,"  he  murmured. 

"  No,"  answered  Burton,  "  but  I  should  have  a 
great  deal  of  enjoyment  in  doing  it." 


219 


XI 

THEY  sat  down  at  table,  and,  as  Crane  looked 
at  his  guests,  he  had  little  hope  that  even 
Lefferts'  cheerful  facility  could  save  the  situation. 
Circumstances  would  be  too  much  against  him. 
Even  the  poet  himself  could  hardly  be  at  his  best, 
having  just  arrived  in  the  hope  of  dining  with  his 
lady-love  to  find  she  had  been  spirited  away  by  an 
irate  mother.  This  in  itself  was  enough  to  put  a 
pall  on  most  men;  yet,  of  the  three  guests,  Lef 
ferts  seemed  by  far  the  most  hopeful.  Tucker 
was  already  sullen  and  getting  more  sullen  every 
moment.  Crane  knew  the  signs  of  his  lawyer's 
bearing  —  the  irritable  eye  that  would  meet  no 
one's  directly,  the  tapping  fingers,  the  lips  com 
pressed  but  moving.  Tucker  was  one  of  those 
people  cursed  by  anger  after  the  event.  His  na 
ture,  slow  moving  or  overcontrolled,  bore  him 
past  the  real  moment  of  offense  without  explo 
sion;  but  with  the  crisis  over,  his  resentment  be 
gan  to  gain  in  strength  and  to  grow  more  bitter 

220 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

as  the  opportunity  for  action  receded  more  and 
more  into  the  past.  Crane  knew  now  that  Tucker 
was  reviewing  every  phrase  that  had  passed  be 
tween  them ;  every  injury,  real  or  fancied,  that  he 
had  ever  received  at  Crane's  hands;  these  he  was 
summoning  like  a  sort  of  phantom  army  to  fight 
on  his  side.  No,  Tucker  was  not  a  guest  from 
whom  any  host  could  expect  much  genial  inter 
change  that  evening. 

Reed,  on  the  other  hand,  was  too  unconscious. 
Placid,  good-natured,  confident  in  his  own  powers 
to  arrange  any  little  domestic  difficulties  that 
might  have  arisen,  he  sat  down,  unfolded  his  nap 
kin,  and  turned  to  Lefferts  in  answer  to  the  inquiry 
about  real  estate  which  Lefferts  had  just  tactfully 
addressed  to  him. 

'  The  great  charm  of  this  section  of  the  coun 
try,"  he  was  saying,  "  is  that  from  the  time  of  its 
earliest  settlement  it  has  been  in  the  hands  of  a 
small  group  of  — "  At  this  instant  Jane-Ellen  en 
tered  with  the  soup.  Reed,  who  had  expected  to 
see  Smithfield,  stopped  short,  and  stared  at  her 
with  an  astonishment  he  did  not  even  attempt  to 
disguise.  Lefferts,  following  the  direction  of  his 

221 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

eyes  and  seeing  Jane-Ellen  for  the  first  time,  mis 
took  the  subject  of  Reed's  surprise. 

"  Oh,"  he  said,  as  the  girl  left  the  room,  "  is 
this  '  the  face  that  launched  a  thousand  ships  '  ?  " 

Tucker,  who  was  perhaps  not  as  familiar  with 
the  Elizabethan  dramatists  as  he  should  have 
been,  replied  shortly  that  this  was  the  cook. 

"  A  very  beautiful  little  person,"  said  Lefferts, 
imagining,  poor  fellow,  that  he  was  now  on  safe 
ground. 

"  I  own,"  said  Tucker,  "  that  I  have  never  been 
able  to  take  much  interest  in  the  personal  appear 
ance  of  servants." 

"  You  sometimes  behave  as  if  you  did,  Tuck." 
remarked  his  host. 

"  If  you  are  interested  in  beauty,"  observed 
Lefferts,  "  I  don't  see  how  you  can  eliminate  any 
of  its  manifestations,  particularly  according  to 
social  classes." 

"  Such  a  preoccupation  with  beauty  strikes  me  as 
decadent,"  answered  Tucker  crossly. 

"  Indeed,  how  delightful,"  Lefferts  replied. 
"  What,  exactly,  is  your  definition  of  '  deca 
dent'?" 

222 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

Now  in  Tucker's  vocabulary  the  word  "  deca 
dent  "  was  a  hate  word.  It  signified  nothing  defi 
nite,  except  that  he  disliked  the  person  to  whose 
opinions  he  applied  it.  He  had  several  others  of 
the  same  sort  —  hysterical,  half-baked  and  sub- 
versive-of-the-Constitution  being  those  most  often 
in  use.  This  being  so,  he  really  could  n't  define 
the  word,  and  so  he  pretended  not  to  hear  and 
occupied  himself  flicking  an  imaginary  crumb  from 
the  satin  lapel  of  his  coat. 

Lefferts,  who  had  no  wish  to  be  disagreeable, 
did  not  repeat  the  question,  but  contented  himself 
by  observing  that  he  had  never  tasted  such  de 
licious  soup.  Reed  shook  his  head  in  an  ecstasy 
that  seemed  to  transcend  words.  Only  Tucker 
scowled. 

As  Jane-Ellen  entered  at  this  moment  to  take 
away  the  soup-plates,  Crane,  who  was  growing 
reckless,  decided  to  let  her  share  the  compliment. 

'  The  gentlemen  enjoyed  the  soup,  Jane-Ellen," 
he  said,  "  at  least,  Mr.  Lefferts  and  Mr.  Reed  did, 
but  Mr.  Tucker  has  not  committed  himself.  Did 
you  enjoy  the  soup,  Tuck?  " 

Tucker  rapped  with  his  middle  finger. 
223 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  ! 

"  I  care  very  little  for  my  food,"  he  answered. 

"  Well,"  said  Crane,  "  I  Ve  heard  of  hating 
the  sin  and  loving  the  sinner;  I  suppose  it  is  pos 
sible  to  hate  the  cooking  and  —  and  — "  He 
paused. 

"  I  did  not  say  I  hated  the  cooking,"  answered 
Tucker.  "  I  only  say  I  am  not  interested  in  talk 
ing  about  it  all  the  time." 

"  All  right,"  said  Burton,  "  we  '11  talk  about 
something  else,  and  you  shall  have  first  choice  of 
a  topic,  Tuck." 

"  One  moment  before  we  begin,"  exclaimed 
Reed,  "  I  must  ask,  where  is  Smithfield?  " 

Crane  turned  to  him. 

"  Smithfield,"  he  said,  "  in  common  with  my 
two  guests,  the  housemaid  Lily  and  the  boy  Brin- 
dlebury,  have  all  left,  or  been  ejected  from  my 
house  within  the  last  twenty-four  hours." 

"  You  mean,"  gasped  Reed,  "  that  you  and  Mr. 
Tucker  and  the  cook  are  alone  in  the  house !  " 

"  I  regret  to  say  that  Mr.  Tucker  also  leaves 
me  this  evening." 

"  But  —  but — "  began  Reed,  in  a  protest  too 
earnest  to  find  words  on  the  instant. 

224 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  We  won't  discuss  the  matter  now,"  said 
Crane.  "  I  have  several  things  to  talk  over  with 
you,  Mr.  Reed,  after  dinner.  In  the  meantime," 
he  added,  looking  around  on  the  dreary  faces  of 
all  but  Lefferts,  "  let  us  enjoy  ourselves." 

"  Certainly,  by  all  means,"  agreed  Reed,  "  but 
I  would  just  like  to  ask  you,  Mr.  Crane  —  You 
can't  mean,  you  don't  intend,  you  don't  contem 
plate  — " 

"  Oh,  I  won't  trouble  you  with  my  immediate 
plans,"  said  Crane,  and  added,  turning  to  Lefferts, 
"  my  experience  is  that  no  one  is  really  interested 
in  any  one  else's  plans  —  their  daily  routine,  I 
mean,  and  small  domestic  complications." 

"  Oh,  come,  I  don't  know  about  that,"  answered 
Lefferts,  on  whom  the  situation  was  beginning 
vaguely  to  dawn.  "  Mr.  Reed  struck  me  as  being 
very  genuinely  interested  in  yo^r  intentions. 
You  are  genuinely  interested,  are  n't  you,  Mr. 
Reed?" 

Reed  was  interested  beyond  the  point  of  being 
able  to  suspect  malice. 

"  Yes,  yes,"  he  said  eagerly,  "  I  am,  genuinely, 
sincerely.  You  see,  I  understand  what  would  be 

225 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

said  in  a  community  like  this, —  what  would  be 
thought.  You  get  my  idea  ?  " 

"  I  own  I  don't,"  answered  Burton  suavely, 
"  but  I  will  say  this  much,  that  in  deciding  my  con 
duct,  I  have  usually  considered  my  own  opinion 
rather  than  that  of  others." 

"  Of  course,  exactly.  I  do,  myself,"  said  Reed, 
"  but  in  this  case,  I  really  think  you  would  agree 
with  me  if  I  could  make  myself  clear." 

"  Doubtless,  doubtless,"  answered  Crane,  and 
seeing  that  Jane-Ellen  was  again  in  the  room,  he 
went  on:  "What  is  it  exactly  that  we  are  talk 
ing  about?  What  is  it  that  you  fear?  " 

Reed  cast  an  agonized  look  at  the  cook  and  re 
mained  speechless,  but  Tucker,  with  more  expe 
rience  in  the  befogging  properties  of  language, 
rushed  to  his  assistance. 

"  It 's  perfectly  clear  what  he  means,"  he  said. 
"  Mr.  Reed's  idea  is  that  in  a  small  community  like 
this  the  conduct  of  every  individual  is  watched, 
scrutinized  and  discussed,  however  humble  a 
sphere  he  or  she  may  occupy;  and  that  if  any 
young  woman  should  find  herself  in  a  position 
which  has  been  considered  a  compromising  one  by 

226 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

every  author  and  dramatist  in  the  language,  she 
would  not  be  saved  from  the  inevitable  criticism 
that  would  follow  by  the  mere  fact  that  — " 

But  here  something  very  unfortunate  happened. 
The  lip  of  the  ice-water  pitcher,  which  Jane-Ellen 
was  approaching  fo  Tucker's  glass,  suddenly 
touched  his  shoulder,  and  a  small  quantity  of  the 
chilling  liquid  trickled  between  his  collar  and  his 
neck.  It  was  not  enough  to  be  called  a  stream, 
and  yet  it  was  distinctly  more  than  a  drop ;  it  was 
sufficient  to  cut  short  his  sentence. 

"  Oh,  sir,  I  'm  so  sorry,"  she  cried,  and  she 
added,  with  a  sort  of  wail,  looking  at  Crane, 
'  You  see  how  it  is,  sir,  I  'm  not  used  to  waiting  on 
table." 

''  I  think  she  waifs  admirably,"  murmured  Lef- 
ferts  aside  to  his  host. 

"  Extremely  competent,  I  call  it,"  said  Crane 
clearly.  u  Don't  give  it  another  thought,  Jane- 
Ellen.  See,"  he  added,  glancing  at  Tucker's  face 
which  was  distorted  with  anger,  "  Mr.  Tucker 
has  forgotten  it  already." 

"  Oh,  sir,  how  kind  you  are  to  me !  "  cried  the 
cook  and  ran  hastily  into  the  pantry,  from  which  a 

227 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

sound  which  might  have  been  a  cough  was  instantly 
heard. 

"  Yours  is  a  strange  but  delightful  home, 
Crane,"  observed  Lefferts.  "  I  don't  really  re 
call  ever  having  experienced  anything  quite  like 
it." 

"  You  refer,  I  fancy,"  replied  Crane,  "  to  the 
simple  peace,  the  assured  confidence  that — " 

"  That  something  unexpected  is  going  to  hap 
pen  within  the  next  ten  seconds." 

Tucker  and  Reed,  both  absorbed  in  their  pri 
vate  wrongs,  were  for  an  instant  like  deaf  men, 
but  the  latter  having  now  dried  his  neck  and  as 
much  of  his  collar  as  was  possible,  showed  signs 
of  coming  to,  so  that  Crane  included  both  in  the 
conversation. 

"  Lefferts  and  I  were  speaking,"  he  said,  slightly 
raising  his  voice,  "  of  the  peculiar  atmosphere 
that  makes  for  the  enjoyment  of  a  home.  What, 
Mr.  Reed,  do  you  think  is  most  essential?" 

"  Just  one  moment,  Mr.  Crane,"  said  Reed. 
"  I  want  to  say  a  word  more  of  that  other  subject 
we  were  speaking  of." 

Crane's  seat  allowed  him  to  see  the  pantry  door 
228 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

before  any  one  else  could.  On  it  his  eyes  were 
fixed  as  he  answered  thoughtfully : 

"  Our  last  subject.  Now,  let  me  see,  wh'at  was 
that?" 

"  It  was  the  question  of  the  propriety  of  — " 

"  Fish,  sir?  "  said  a  gentle  voice  in  Reed's  ear. 
He  groaned  and  helped  himself  largely  and  in  si 
lence. 

Lefferts,  who  was  really  kind-hearted,  pitied 
his  distress  and  decided  to  change  the  topic. 

"  What  a  fine  old  house  this  is,"  he  said,  glanc 
ing  around  the  high-ceilinged  room.  '  Who  does 
it  belong  to?" 

"  It  belongs,"  answered  Tucker,  "  to  a  family 
named  Revelly  —  a  family  who  held  a  highly  hon 
ored  position  in  the  history  of  our  country  until 
they  took  the  wrong  side  in  war." 

"  In  this  part  of  the  country,  sir,"  cried  Reed, 
"  we  are  not  accustomed  to  thinking  it  the  wrong 
side." 

Tucker  bowed  slightly. 

"  I  believe  that  I  am  voicing  the  verdict  of  his 
tory  and  time,"  he  answered. 

It  was-  in  remorse,  perhaps,  for  having  stirred 
229 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

up  this  new  subject  of  dispute  that  Lefferts  now 
went  on  rapidly,  too  rapidly  to  feel  his  way. 

'  Well,  this  present  generation  seems  to  be  an 
amusing  lot.  Eliot  was  telling  me  about  them  last 
night.  He  says  one  of  the  girls  is  a  perfect 
beauty.  Now,  what  was  her  name  —  such  a 
pretty  one.  Oh,  yes,"  he  added,  slightly  raising 
his  voice,  as  his  memory  gave  it  to  him, 
"  Claudia." 

"What?"  said  the  cook. 

"  Nobody  spoke  to  you,  Jane-Ellen,"  said 
Crane,  but  his  eyes  remained  fixed  on  her  long  and 
meditatively  as  she  handed  the  sauce  for  the  fish. 

Lefferts  continued : 

"  Eliot  said  that  she  was  a  most  indiscrimina- 
ting  fascinator  —  engaged  to  three  men  last  sum 
mer,  to  his  knowledge.  Our  Northern  girls  are 
infants  compared  — " 

Reed  suddenly  sprang  up  from  the  table. 

"  I  'd  be  obliged,  sir,"  he  said,  "  if  you  'd  tell 
Mr.  Eliot,  with  my  compliments,  that  that  story 
of  his  is  untrue,  and  if  he  does  n't  know  it,  he 
ought  to.  I  don't  blame  you,  sir,  a  stranger,  for 
repeating  all  you  hear  about  one  of  the  loveliest 

230 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

young  ladies  in  the  country,  but  I  do  blame 
him  — " 

At  this  the  cook  approached  him  and  said  with 
a  stern  civility: 

"  Do  sit  down  and  eat  your  fish,  sir,  before  it 
gets  cold."  They  exchanged  a  long  and  bitter 
glance,  but  Reed  sat  down. 

;<  I  'm  sure  you  '11  believe,"  said  Lefferts,  "  that 
I  'm  sorry  to  have  said  anything  I  ought  not,  par 
ticularly  about  any  friend  of  yours,  Mr.  Reed, 
but  the  truth  is,  I  thought  of  it  only  as  being 
immensely  to  the  credit  of  the  young  lady,  in  a 
neighborhood  which  must  be,  you  '11  forgive  my 
saying,  rather  dull  if  you  're  not  fond  of  hunt- 
ing." 

"  The  point  is  not  whether  it  is  to  her  credit  or 
not,"  returned  Reed,  who  was  by  no  means  pla 
cated,  "  the  point  is  that  it  is  not  true." 

"  Probably  not,"  Lefferts  agreed,  "  only,"  he 
added,  after  a  second's  thought,  "  I  don't  see  how 
any  one  can  say  that  except  the  young  lady  her 
self." 

"  Miss  Claudia  Revelly,"  answered  Reed,  "  is 
one  of  the  most  respected  and  admired  young 

231 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

ladies  in  the  State,  I  may  say  in  the  whole  South. 
I  have  known  her  and  her  family  since  she  was  a 
child,  and  I  should  have  been  informed  if  any 
thing  of  the  kind  had  taken  place»" 

As  he  said  this,  the  glance  that  the  cook  cast  at 
him  was  indescribable.  It  was  mingled  pity  and 
wonder,  as  much  as  to  say,  "  What  hope  is  there, 
after  all,  for  a  man  who  can  talk  like  that?  " 

"  Undoubtedly  you  're  right,  Mr.  Reed,"  said 
Lefferts,  "  and  yet  I  have  never  heard  of  a  girl's 
announcing  more  than  one  engagement  at  a  time, 
although  it  has  come  within  my  experience  to 
know  — " 

"  But,  after  all,  why  not?  "  said  Crane.  "  Per 
haps  that  will  be  the  coming  fashion.  We  shall  in 
future  get  letters  from  our  friends,  which  will  be 
gin  :  '  I  want  you  to  know  of  the  three  great 
happinesses  that  have  come  into  my  life.  I  am 
engaged  to  John  Jones,  Peter  Smith  and  Paul  Rob 
inson,  and  I  feel  almost  sure  that  one  of  these 
three,  early  next  June  — ' ' 

Seeing  that  Reed  was  really  growing  angry, 
Lefferts  hastened  to  interrupt  his  host. 

"  I  think  you  might  tell  us,  Mr.  Reed,"  he  said, 
232 


But  here  something  very  unfortunate  happened 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  what  the  great  beauty  of  the  county  looks 
like?" 

"  I  can't  think  that  this  is  the  time  or  place  for 
retailing  the  charms  of  a  young  lady  as  if  it  were 
a  slave  market,"  answered  Reed;  and  it  seemed  to 
Crane  that  the  cook,  who  had  come  in  to  change 
the  plates,  looked  a  little  bit  disappointed. 

"  No,  not  as  if  it  were  a  slave  market,"  said 
Lefferts,  "  because,  of  course,  it  is  n't." 

"  I  can  see  no  reason,  Reed,"  said  Crane,  "  why 
you  should  n't  give  us  a  hint  as  to  whether  Miss 
Revelly  is  blond  or  brunette,  tall  or  short." 

"  Perhaps  I  see  reasons  that  you  do  not,  sir," 
answered  the  wretched  real  estate  man. 

"  Well,"  said  Crane,  "  I  tell  you  what,  Jane- 
Ellen  must  have  seen  her  often, —  Jane-Ellen," 
he  added,  "  you  Ve  seen  Miss  Revelly.  What 
does  she  look  like  ?  " 

Jane-Ellen  advanced  into  the  room  thought 
fully. 

"  Well,  sir,"  she  said,  "  it  is  n't  for  me  to  criti 
cize  my  superiors,  nor  to  say  a  word  against  a 
young  lady  whom  Mr.  Reed  admires  so  much,  but 
I  have  my  own  reasons,  sir,  for  thinking  that  there 

235 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

was  more  in  those  stories  of  her  engagement  than 
perhaps  Mr.  Reed  himself  knows.  Servants  hear 
a  good  deal,  you  know,  sir,  and  they  do  say  that 
Miss  Revelly  — " 

"  Claudia !  "  burst  from  Reed. 

"  Miss  Claudia  Revelly,  I  should  say,"  the  cook 
corrected  herself.  "  Well,  sir,  as  for  looks  — 
let  me  see  —  she  's  a  tall,  commanding  looking 
lady—" 

"  With  flashing  black  eyes?  "  asked  Crane. 

"  And  masses  of  blue-black  hair." 

"A  noble  brow?" 

"  A  mouth  too  large  for  perfect  beauty." 

"  A  queenly  bearing?  " 

"  An  irresistible  dignity  of  manner." 

"  Jane-Ellen,"  said  Crane,  "  I  feel  almost  as  if 
Miss  Claudia  Revelly  were  standing  before  me." 

"  Oh,  indeed,  sir,  if  it  were  she,  it 's  you  who 
would  be  standing,"  said  the  cook. 

"  For  my  part,"  said  Crane,  turning  again  to  the 
table,  "  I  had  imagined  her  to  myself  as  quite  dif 
ferent.  I  had  supposed  her  small,  soft-eyed,  with 
tiny  hands  and  feet  and  a  mouth — "  He  was 
looking  at  Jane-Ellen's  mouth,  as  if  that  might 

236 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

give  him  an  inspiration,  when  Reed  interrupted. 

"  I  regret  to  say,  Mr.  Crane,"  he  said,  "  that 
if  this  conversation  continues  to  deal  disrespect 
fully  with  the  appearance  of  a  young  lady  for 
whom  — " 

"Disrespectfully!"  cried  Crane.  "I  assure 
you,  I  had  no  such  intention.  I  leave  it  to  you, 
Jane-Ellen,  whether  anything  disrespectful  was 
said  about  this  young  lady." 

"  It  did  not  seem  so  to  me,  sir,"  answered  the 
cook,  with  all  her  gentlest  manner.  "  But,"  she 
added,  glancing  humbly  at  Reed,  "  of  course,  it 
would  never  do  for  a  servant  like  me  to  be  setting 
up  my  opinion  on  such  a  matter  against  a  gentle 
man  like  Mr.  Reed." 

"  What  I  mean  is,  if  Miss  Revelly  were  here, 
do  you  think  she  would  object  to  anything  we  have 
said?" 

"  Indeed,  I  'm  sure  she  would  actually  have  en 
joyed  it,  sir." 

"Well,  then,  she  ought  not,"  shouted  Reed 
sternly. 

Jane-Ellen  shook  her  head  sadly. 

"  Ah,  sir,"  she  said,  "  young  ladies  like  Miss 
237 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

Revelly  don't  always  do  what  they  ought  to,  if 
report  speaks  true." 

"  May  I  ask,  without  impertinence,  Burton," 
said  Tucker,  at  this  point,  "  whether  it  is  your  in 
tention  to  give  us  nothing  whatsoever  to  drink 
with  our  dinner?  " 

"  No,  certainly  not,"  cried  Crane.  "  Jane- 
Ellen,  why  have  n't  you  served  the  champagne?  " 

The  reason  for  this  omission  was  presently  only 
too  clear.  Jane-Ellen  had  not  the  faintest  idea 
of  how  to  open  the  bottle.  Crane,  listening  with 
one  ear  to  his  guests,  watched  her  wrestling  with 
it  in  a  corner,  holding  it  as  if  it  were  a  venomous 
reptile. 

"  For  my  part,"  Tucker  was  saying,  "  I  have  a 
great  deal  of  sympathy  with  the  stand  Mr.  Reed 
has  taken.  Any  discussion  of  a  woman  behind 
her  back  runs  at  least  the  risk — " 

Suddenly  Crane  shouted : 

"  Look  out  1  Don't  do  that !  "  He  was  speak 
ing  not  to  Tucker,  but  to  the  cook.  His  warning, 
however,  came  too  late.  There  was  the  sound  of 
breaking  glass  and  a  deep  cherry-colored  stain 
dyed  the  napkin  in  Jane-Ellen's  hand. 

238 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

All  four  chairs  were  pushed  back,  all  four  men 
sprang  to  her  side. 

"  Let  me  see  your  hand." 

"Is  it  badly  cut?" 

"  An  artery  runs  near  there." 

"  Is  there  any  glass  in  it?  " 

They  crowded  around  her,  nor  did  any  one  of 
them  seem  to  be  averse  to  taking  the  case  entirely 
into  his  own  control. 

"  There  are  antiseptics  and  bandages  upstairs," 
said  Crane. 

"  Better  let  me  wash  it  well  at  the  tap  in  the 
pantry,"  urged  Reed. 

"  Does  it  hurt  horribly?  "  asked  Lefferts. 

Tucker,  putting  on  his  glasses,  observed : 

"  I  have  had  some  experience  in  surgery,  and  if 
you  will  let  me  examine  the  wound  by  a  good 
light—" 

"  Oh,  gentlemen,"  said  Jane-Ellen,  "  this  is  ab 
surd.  It 's  nothing  but  a  scratch.  Do  sit  down 
and  finish  your  dinner,  and  let  me  get  through  my 
work." 

As  the  injury  did  not,  after  a  closer  observation, 
seem  to  be  serious,  the  four  men  obeyed.  But 

239 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

they  did  so  in  silence ;  not  even  Lefferts  and  Crane 
could  banter  any  more.  Tucker  had  never  made 
any  pretense  of  recovering  his  temper,  and  Reed 
seemed  to  be  revolving  thoughts  of  deep  import. 

As  they  rose  from  table,  Crane  touched  the  arm 
of  Reed. 

"  Come  into  the  office,  will  you?  I  have  some 
thing  I  want  to  say  to  you." 

"  And  I  to  you,"  said  Reed,  with  feeling. 


240 


XII 

ONCE  in  the  little  office,  Crane  did  not  imme 
diately  speak.  He  drew  up  two  chairs,  put 
a  log  on  the  fire,  turned  up  the  lamp,  and  in  short 
made  it  evident  that  he  intended  to  do  that  cruel 
deed  sometimes  perpetrated  by  parents,  guardians' 
and  schoolmasters  in  interviews  of  this  sort  —  he 
was  going  to  leave  it  to  the  culprit  to  make  a  be 
ginning. 

Reed,  fidgeting  in  a  nearby  chair,  did  not  at 
once  yield  to  this  compulsion,  but  finally  the  calm 
with  which  Crane  was  balancing  a  pen  on  a  pencil 
broke  down  his  resolution  and  he  said  crossly : 

"  I  understood  you  had  something  to  say  to  me, 
Mr.  Crane." 

Crane  threw  aside  pencil  and  pen.  "  I  thought 
it  might  be  the  other  way,"  he  answered.  "  But, 
yes,  if  you  like.  I  have  something  to  say  to  you. 
I  have  decided  to  break  my  lease  and  leave  this 
house  to-morrow." 

241 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  You  don't  mean  to  go  without  paying  the  sec 
ond  instalment  of  the  rent?  " 

"  Why  not?  The  Revellys  have  broken,  or 
rather  have  never  fulfilled  their  part  of  the  con 
tract.  I  took  the  house  on  the  written  under 
standing  that  servants  were  to  be  supplied,  and 
you  are  my  witness,  Mr.  Reed,  that  to-night  I 
have  no  one  left  but  a  cook." 

"  Oh,  come,  Mr.  Crane !  We  only  agreed  to 
provide  the  servants.  We  could  not  guarantee 
that  you  would  not  dismiss  them.  You  must  own 
they  showed  no  inclination  to  leave  the  house." 

"  No,  I  '11  not  deny  that,"  returned  Burton 
grimly. 

"  No  sane  man,"  continued  Reed  eagerly, 
"  would  allow  the  payment  of  his  rent  to  depend 
on  whether  or  not  you  chose  to  keep  a  staff  of 
servants  in  many  ways  above  the  average.  You  '11 
not  deny,  I  think,  sir,  that  the  cooking  has  been 
above  the  average?  " 

Crane  had  reached  a  state  of  mind  in  which  it 
was  impossible  for  him  to  discuss  even  the  cul 
inary  powers  of  Jane-Ellen,  particularly  with 
Reed,  and  so  he  slightly  shifted  the  ground. 

242 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Let  us,"  he  said,  "  run  over  the  reasons  for 
which  I  dismissed  them:  The  housemaid,  for 
calling  one  of  my  guests  an  old  harridan;  the  boy, 
for  habitually  smoking  my  cigarettes,  for  attempt 
ing  to  strike  Mr.  Tucker,  and  finally,  for  stealing 
a  valuable  miniature  belonging  to  the  house;  the 
butler,  for  again  introducing  this  same  larcenous 
boy  into  the  house  disguised  as  a  lame  old  man. 
The  question  is  not  whether  I  should  have  kept 
them,  but  whether  I  should  not  stay  on  here  and 
have  them  all  arrested." 

Reed's  face  changed.  "  Oh!  I  hope  you  won't 
do  that,  Mr.  Crane,"  he  said. 

Burton  saw  his  advantage.  "  I  should  not 
care,"  he  answered,  "  to  go  through  life  feeling  I 
had  been  responsible  for  turning  a  dangerous  gang 
loose  upon  the  countryside." 

"  They  are  not  that,  sir.  I  pledge  my  word 
they  are  not  that." 

"  There  is  a  good  deal  of  evidence  against  that 
pledge." 

'  You  doubt  my  word,  sir?  " 

"  I  feel  there  is  much  more  to  be  explained  than 
you  seem  willing  to  admit.  For  instance,  how 

243 


comes  it  that  you  are  a  —  I  will  not  say  welcome 
—  but  at  least  assured  visitor  in  my  kitchen?  " 

Reed  felt  himself  coloring.  "  I  do  not  feel 
called  upon,"  he  replied,  "  to  explain  my  conduct 
to  any  one." 

"  In  that  case,"  said  Crane,  getting  to  his  feet,. 
"  this  interview  might  as  well  end.  I  shall  leave 
to-morrow,  and  if  you  and  your  friends,  the  Rev- 
ellys,  feel  yourselves  aggrieved,  we  can  only  take 
the  matter  into  court.  If  the  record  of  these 
servants  is  as  excellent  as  you  seem  to  think,  they 
can  have  nothing  to  fear.  If  it  is  n't,  the  whole 
matter  will  be  cleared  up." 

This  was  the  crisis  of  the  conversation,  for 
as  Crane  moved  to  the  door,  Reed  stopped 
him. 

"  Wait  a  moment,  Mr.  Crane,"  he  said. 
"  There  are  circumstances  in  this  connection  that 
you  do  not  know." 

"  Yes,  I  guessed  that  much." 

"  If  you  will  sit  down,  I  should  like  to  tell  you 
the  whole  story." 

Crane  yielded  and  sat  down,  without  giving* 
Reed  the  satisfaction  of  knowing  that  his  nervous- 

244 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

ness  at  the  expected  revelation  was  as  extreme  as 
Reed's. 

"  The  Revellys,  Mr.  Crane,  are  among  the 
most  respected  of  our  Southern  gentry.  They 
fought  for  the  original  liberties  of  this  country, 
and  in  the  war  of  secession — " 

Crane  nodded.  "  I  know  my  history,  Mr. 
Reed." 

"  But,  sir,  their  distinguished  position  and  high 
abilities  have  not  saved  them  from  financial  re 
verses.  The  grandfather  lost  everything  in  the 
war;  arid  the  present  owner,  Henry  Patrick  Rev- 
elly,  has  not  been  completely  successful.  Last 
winter  a  breakdown  in  his  health  compelled  him  to 
leave  the  country  at  short  notice.  His  four  chil 
dren  — " 

"  Four  children,  Mr.  Reed?  Two  girls  and 
two  boys?  " 

"  Four  grown  children,  Mr.  Crane.  The  eld 
est  is  twenty-six,  the  youngest  seventeen.  They 
were  left  with  a  roof  over  their  heads  and  a  sum 
of  money  —  a  small  sum  —  to  provide  for  them 
during  the  absence  of  their  parents.  Not  a  satis 
factory  arrangement,  sir,  but  made  in  haste  and 

245 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

distress.  Mrs.  Revelly's  devotion  to  her  husband 
is  such  that  in  her  alarm  for  him,  she  did  not  per 
haps  sufficiently  consider  her  children.  At  the 
moment  when,  left  alone,  their  difficulties  began  to 
press  upon  them,  your  offer,  your  generous  offer, 
for  the  house  was  made.  There  was  no  time  to 
submit  it  to  their  parents,  nor,  to  be  candid  with 
you,  would  there  have  been  the  slightest  chance 
of  Mr.  Revelly's  accepting  it.  He  has  never  been 
able  to  tolerate  the  mere  suggestion  of  renting 
Revelly  Hall.  But  the  four  young  people  felt 
differently.  It  was  natural,  it  was  in  my  opinion 
commendable,  that  they  decided  to  move  out  of 
their  home  for  the  sake  of  realizing  a  large  sum 
—  the  largest  sum  probably  that  had  come  into 
the  family  purse  for  many  years.  But  an  obstacle 
soon  appeared.  You  had  insisted  that  servants 
should  be  provided.  This  was  impossible. 
They  tried  earnestly.  Miss  Claudia  told  me  her 
self  that  she  went  everywhere  within  a  radius  of 
twenty  miles,  except  to  the  jails.  At  last  it  be 
came  a  question  of  refusing  your  offer,  or  of  — 
of  —  I  believe  you  have  already  guessed  the  alter 
native." 

246 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  This  is  not  a  time  for  the  exercise  of  my  cre 
ative  faculties,  Mr.  Reed.  What  was  their  de 
cision?  " 

Reed's  discomfort  increased.  "  I  wish  you 
could  have  been  present  as  I  was,  Mr.  Crane,  on 
that  occasion.  We  were  sitting  round  the  fire  in 
the  sitting-room,  depressed  that  Miss  Claudia's 
mission  had  not  succeeded,  when  suddenly  she 
said,  with  a  determination  quite  at  variance  with 
her  gentle  appearance,  '  Well,  I  Ve  found  a  cook 
for  him  —  and  a  mighty  good  one,  too.' 
'Where  did  you  find  her?'  I  asked  in  astonish 
ment,  for  only  a  moment  before  she  had  been  con 
fessing  absolute  failure.  '  I  found  her,'  she  an 
swered,  '  where  charity  begins.'  I  own  that  even 
then  I  did  not  get  the  idea,  but  her  brother  Paul, 
who  always  understands  her,  saw  at  once  what  was 
in  her  mind.  '  Yes,'  she  went  on,  '  I  Ve  found 
an  excellent  cook,  a  good  butler,  a  rather  inef 
ficient  housemaid,  and  a  dangerous  extra  boy,'  and 
she  looked  from  one  to  the  other  of  her  family  as 
she  spoke.  Her  meaning  was  clear.  They  them 
selves  were  to  take  the  places  of  the  servants  they 
could  not  find.  As  Paul  pointed  out,  the  plan  had 

247 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

the  advantage  of  saving  them  the  trouble  of  find 
ing  board  and  lodgings,  elsewhere.  Miss  Lily 
was  opposed  from  the  start.  Her  nature,  exceed 
ingly  refined  and  retiring,  revolted,  but  no  one  in 
the  Revelly  family  can  bear  up  against  the  com 
bined  wills  of  Paul  and  Miss  Claudia.  How  the 
plan  was  carried  out  you  know." 

There  was  a  short  silence.  It  was  now  some 
days  since  Crane  had  suspected  the  identity  of  his 
servants,  an  hour  since  Jane-Ellen  had  turned  at 
the  name  of  Claudia  and  made  him  sure.  Nev 
ertheless  the  certainty  that  Reed's  confession 
brought  was  very  grateful  to  him;  so  grateful  that 
he  feared  his  expression  would  betray  him,  and  he 
assumed  a  look  of  stern  blankness. 

Seeing  this,  Reed  thought  it  necessary  to  plead 
the  culprits'  cause. 

"  After  all,  Mr.  Crane,  was  there  not  courage 
and  self-sacrifice  needed?  You  see  this  explains 
everything.  The  miniature  of  their  grandmother 
was  taken  upstairs  for  fear  its  likeness  to  Miss 
Claudia  might  betray  them.  Miss  Lily,  who  as  I 
said  never  approved  of  the  plan,  was  constitution 
ally  unable  to  be  calm  under  the  accusation  of 

248 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

stealing  a  hat,  made,  as  I  understand,  rather 
roughly  by  Mrs.  Falkener.  I  should  be  very 
sorry  if  your  opinion  of  the  Revelry  family — " 

"  I  can't  see  what  my  opinion  has  to  do  with 
the  situation,"  said  Crane.  Every  moment  now 
that  kept  him  from  Claudia  was  to  him  an  intol 
erable  bore.  He  drew  his  check-book  toward 
him.  "  However,  your  story  has  convinced  me 
of  this  —  my  only  course  is  to  pay  my  rent  in 
full." 

Reed  began  to  feel  the  pride  of  the  successful 
diplomat.  "  And  one  other  thing,  Mr.  Crane. 
You  see  the  necessity  of  not  mentioning  this.  It 
would  make  a  great  deal  of  talk  in  the  country.  A 
young  lady's  name  — " 

Burton  rose  quickly.  It  was  not  agreeable  to 
him  to  have  Reed  pleading  with  him  for  the 
preservation  of  Claudia's  reputation. 

"  Here  's  your  check,"  he  said. 

Reed  pressed  on.  "  And  another  thing  will 
now  be  equally  clear  to  you,  I  am  sure.  Miss 
Revelly  cannot  possibly  spend  the  night  here 
alone." 

"  That,"  replied  Crane,  "  is  a  question  for  Miss 
249 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN  1 

Revelly  herself  to  decide.  My  motors  are  at  her 
disposal  to  take  her  anywhere  she  may  choose  to 
go."  And  he  opened  the  door  as  if  he  expected 
that  Reed  would  now  take  his  departure. 

But  Reed  did  not  move.  "  I  cannot  go  away 
and  leave  Miss  Revelly  here  alone  with  you,"  he 
said. 

"  Of  the  two  alternatives,"  said  Crane,  "  you 
might  find  it  more  difficult  to  stay  in  my  house 
without  my  consent.  But  I  '11  leave  it  this  way  — 
do  you  think  Miss  Revelly  would  regard  your 
presence  as  a  protection?  " 

"  I  don't  understand  you,  sir." 

"  Your  last  visit  to  my  kitchen  did  not,  I  be 
lieve,  inspire  her  with  confidence.  Shall  we  leave 
the  decision  to  her?  " 

Reed  went  out  in  silence.  He  had  had  no  rec 
onciliation  with  Jane-Ellen  since  that  fatal  kiss  in 
the  kitchen,  and  he  knew  she  would  not  now  side 
with  him.  He  decided  to  go  away  and  find  her 
brothers. 

Lefferts,  meanwhile,  left  alone,  had  stretched 
himself  on  a  sofa,  and  was  smoking,  with  his  eyes 
fixed  on  the  ceiling. 

250 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  My  dear  fellow,"  cried  Crane  with  some  com 
punction,  "  were  you  waiting  to  see  me?  " 

"  I  was  waiting  for  my  motor,"  answered  the 
poet.  *  You  know  that,  imagining  this  to  be  an 
ordinary  dinner-party,  I  ordered  it  back  at  a  quar 
ter  before  eleven." 

"Where's  Tucker?"  asked  Burton. 

At  this  moment  a  step  was  heard  on  the  stairs 
and  Tucker,  dressed  in  a  neat  gray  suit,  adapted 
to  traveling,  wearing  a  cap  and  goggles  and 
carrying  his  bag,  descended  the  stairs. 

On  seeing  his  host  he  approached  and  held  out 
his  hand.  "  Good-by,  Burton,"  he  said,  "  I  hope 
the  time  will  come  when  you  will  forgive  me  for 
having  tried  too  hard  to  serve  you.  For  myself,  I 
entirely  forgive  your  hasty  rudeness.  I  hope  we 
part  friends." 

Crane  hesitated,  and  then  shook  hands  with 
his  lawyer.  "  There 's  no  use  in  pretending, 
Tucker,"  he  said,  "  that  I  feel  exactly  friendly  to 
you,  and,  if  you  '11  forgive  my  saying  so,  I  can't 
believe  that  you  feel  so  to  me.  You  and  I  have 
got  on  each  other's  nerves  lately;  and  that's  the 
truth.  How  much  that  means,  only  time  can 

25 1 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

show.  Sometimes  it  is  very  important,  sometimes 
very  trivial ;  but  while  such  a  state  exists,  I  agree 
with  you  that  two  people  are  better  apart.  Good- 
by." 

Here,  Jane-Ellen,  who  had  just  finished  put 
ting  the  dining-room  in  order,  came  out  into 
the  hall  followed  by  Willoughby.  As  she  saw 
Tucker,  she  had  one  of  her  evil  inspirations. 

Springing  forward,  she  exclaimed:  "Oh, 
was  n't  it  a  pity,  sir,  you  had  to  do  your  own  pack 
ing!  Let  me  put  your  bag  in  the  motor  for 
you." 

Tucker  was  again  caught  by  one  of  his  mo 
ments  of  indecision.  He  did  not  want  Jane-Ellen 
to  carry  his  luggage,  but  he  did  not  consider  it  dig 
nified  to  wrestle  with  her  for  the  possession  of  it, 
so  that  in  the  twinkling  of  an  eye  she  had  seized  it 
and  carried  it  down  the  steps. 

But  he  was  not  utterly  without  resource.  He 
had  been,  holding  a  two-dollar  bill  in  his  hand, 
more  from  recollections  of  other  visits  than  be 
cause  he  now  expected  to  find  any  one  left  to  fee. 
This,  as  Jane-Ellen  came  up  the  steps,  he  thrust 
into  her  hand,  saying  clearly: 

252 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Thank  you,  my  girl,  there 's  for  your 
trouble." 

Jane-Ellen  just  glanced  at  it,  and  then  crum 
pling  it  into  a  ball  she  threw  it  across  the  hall. 
Willoughby,  who  like  many  other  sheltered  crea 
tures  retained  his  playfulness  late  in  life,  bounded 
after  it,  caught  it  up  in  his  paws,  threw  it  about, 
and  finally  set  on  it  with  his  sharp  little  teeth  and 
bit  it  to  pieces.  But  neither  Tucker  nor  the  cook 
waited  to  see  the  end.  He  got  into  the  car  and 
rolled  away,  and  she  went  back  to  the  kitchen. 

Crane  glanced  at  Lefferts,  to  whom  plainly  his 
duty  as  host  pointed,  and  then  he  hurried  down 
the  kitchen  stairs,  closing  the  door  carefully  be 
hind  him. 


253' 


XIII 

JANE-ELLEN  was  shaking  out  her  last  dish 
cloth,  her  head  turned  well  over  her  shoulder 
to  avoid  the  shower  of  spray  that  came  from 
it.  He  seated  himself  on  the  kitchen-table,  and 
watched  her  for  some  time  in  silence. 

"  And  is  that  the  way  you  treat  all  presents, 
Jane-Ellen,"  he  asked,  "  throwing  them  to  Wil- 
loughby  to  tear  to  pieces?  " 

"  That  was  not  a  present,  sir.  Presents  are 
between  equals,  I  Ve  always  thought." 

"  Then,  Jane-Ellen,  I  don't  see  how  you  can 
ever  hope  to  get  any." 

She  looked  at  him  and  smiled.  "  Your  talk  is 
too  deep  and  clever  for  a  poor  girl  like  me  to  un 
derstand,  sir." 

He  smiled  back.  "  They  Ve  all  gone,  Jane- 
Ellen,"  he  said. 

The  news  did  not  seem  to  disturb  the  cook 
in  the  least.  Reed  would  have  been  shocked 

254 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

by    the    calmness    with    which    she    received    it. 

"  And  now  you  're  all  alone,  sir,"  she  replied. 

"  Absolutely  alone." 

She  was  still  pattering  about  the  kitchen,  put 
ting  the  last  things  to  rights,  but  —  or  so  it  seemed 
to  Crane  —  a  little  busier  than  her  occupation 
warranted. 

"They  left  early,  sir,  didn't  they?  But  then 
it  did  not  seem  to  me  that  they  were  really  enjoy 
ing  themselves,  not  even  Mr.  Lefferts,  though  he 
is  such  an  amusing  genteman.  Every  one  seemed 
sad,  sir,  except  you." 

"  I  was  sad,  too,  Jane-Ellen." 

"Indeed,  sir?" 

"  Something  was  said  at  dinner  that  distressed 
me  deeply." 

"By  whom,  sir?" 

"  By  you." 

She  did  not  stop  her  work  nor  seem  very  much 
surprised,  but  of  course  she  asked  what  her  unfor 
tunate  speech  had  been. 

"  I  was  sorry  to  hear  you  say  you  believed  in 
Miss  Revelly's  triple  engagement." 

At  this  she  did  stop  short,  and  immediately  in 

255 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

his  vicinity.     u  But  I  did  not  know  you  knew  Miss 
Revelly." 
"  Yet  I  do." 

"  And  when  I  was  describing  her  — " 
"  It  was  as  if  I  saw  her  before  me." 
"  I  am  sorry  I  said  anything  about  a   friend 
of  yours,  sir.     I  had  supposed  she  was  quite  a 
stranger  to  you." 

"  Sometimes  it  seems  to  me,  too,  as  if  she  were 
a  stranger,"  Crane  answered.  "  Each  time  I  see 
her,  Jane-Ellen,  she  seems  to  me  so  lovely  and 
wonderful  and  miraculous  that  it  is  as  if  I  saw  her 
for  the  first  time.  Sometimes  when  I  am  away 
from  her  it  seems  to  me  quite  ridiculous  to  believe 
that  such  a  creature  exists  in  this  rather  tiresome 
old  world,  and  I  feel  like  rushing  back  from  wher 
ever  I  am  to  assure  myself  that  she  is  n't  just  a 
creation  of  my  own  passionate  desire.  In  this 
sense,  I  think  she  will  always  be  a  stranger,  al 
ways  be  a  surprise  to  me  even  if  I  should  have 
the  great  felicity  of  spending  the  rest  of  my  days 
with  her.  Does  it  bore  you,  Jane-Ellen,  to  hear 
me  talking  this  way  about  my  own  feelings?  " 
Jane-Ellen  did  not  answer;  indeed  something 
256 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

seemed  to  suggest  that  she  could  not  speak,  but  she 
shook  her  head  and  Burton  went  on. 

"  So  you  see  why  it  distressed  me  to  hear  from 
so  good  an  authority  as  yourself  that  she  had  al 
ready  engaged  herself  three  times.  It  is  not  that 
I  am  of  a  jealous  nature,  Jane-Ellen,  but  when 
I  ask  her  to  be  my  wife,  if  she  should  say  yes, 
I  should  want  to  feel  sure  that  that  meant  — " 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Crane !  "  said  Jane-Ellen,  "  I  said 
that  to  make  Mr.  Reed  angry." 

"  And  there  was  no  truth  in  it?  " 

There  was  a  pause.  Jane-Ellen  looked  down 
and  wriggled  her  shoulders  a  little. 

"  Well,"  she  admitted,  "  there  was  some  truth 
in  it.  They  were  not  exactly  engagements.  We 
think  in  this  part  of  the  world  that  there  's  some 
thing  almost  too  harsh  in  a  flat  no  —  oh !  the  truth 
is,"  she  added,  suddenly  changing  her  tone,  "  that 
girls  don't  know  what  they  're  doing  until  they  find 
that  they  have  fallen  in  love  themselves." 

"  And  do  you  think  by  any  chance  that  this  reve 
lation  may  have  come  to  Miss  Revelly?  " 

"  I  know  right  well  it  has,"  answered  Jane- 
Ellen. 

257 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

"  Oh,  my  dear  love !  "  cried  Crane  and  took  her 
into  his  arms. 

The  kitchen  clock,  loudly  ticking,  looked  down 
upon  them  on  one  side,  and  Willoughby,  loudly 
purring,  looked  up  at  them  from  the  other,  and  a 
good  deal  of  ticking  and  purring  was  done  before 
Claudia  broke  the  silence  by  saying,  like  one  to 
whom  a  good  idea  has  come  rather  late : 

"  But  I  never  said  it  was  through  you  that  the 
revelation  came." 

"  You  must  n't  say  that  it  has  n't  even  in  fun  — 
not  yet." 

"When  may  I?" 

"  When  we  Ve  been  married  five  years." 

Sometime  later,  when,  that  is  to  say,  they  had 
talked  a  little  longer  in  the  kitchen,  and  then  shut 
it  up  for  the  night,  and  had  gone  and  sat  a  little 
while  in  the  parlor  so  that  he  might  realize  that 
she  really  was  Miss  Claudia  Revelly,  and  they 
had  sat  a  little  while  in  the  office  so  that  she  might 
act  out  for  him  the  impression  he  had  made  on  her 
during  that  first  famous  interview  when  he  had 
reproved  her  conduct,  when  all  these  important 
conversations  had  taken  place,  Crane  at  last  took 

258 


"And  there  was  no  truth  in  it  ?  " 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

her  hand  and  said  gravely :  "  I  must  n't  keep  you 
up  any  longer.  Good  night,  my  darling."  And 
he  added,  after  an  instant,  "I'm  so  glad  —  so 
grateful  —  that  your  mind  does  n't  work  like 
Reed's  and  Tucker's." 

"  Like  theirs  —  in  what  way?  " 

"  I  'm  glad  you  have  n't  thought  it  necessary  to 
make  any  protest  at  our  being  here  alone." 

A  slight  motion  of  his  beloved's  shoulders  told 
him  she  was  not  fully  at  one  with  him. 

"  How  foolish,  Burton,  of  course  I  trust  you 
absolutely,  only  — " 

"Only  what— " 

She  evidently  felt  that  it  was  a  moment  when 
something  decisive  must  be  done,  for  she  came  and 
laid  her  head,  not  on  his  shoulder,  but  as  near  as 
she  could  reach,  which  was  about  in  the  turn  of  his 
elbow. 

His  arm  was  coldly  limp.,  "  Only  what?  "  he 
repeated. 

"  Only  we  're  not  really  alone." 

'  What  do  you  mean,  Claudia?  " 

'  They  're  all  here  —  my  brothers  and  sis 
ter." 

261 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

"  What,  Smithfield,  and  Lily,  and  even  Brindle- 
bury?"  ' 

She  nodded  in  as  much  space  as  she  had. 

"  Where  are  they?  "  he  asked. 

'  They  're  playing  Coon-Can  in  the  garret. 
And  oh,"  she  added  with  a  sudden  spasm  of  recol 
lection,  "they'll  be  so  hungry!  They  haven't 
had  anything  to  eat  for  ages.  I  promised  to  bring 
them  something  as  soon  as  the  house  was  quiet, 
only  you  put  everything  out  of  my  head." 

;'  We  '11  give  them  a  party  in  the  dining-room 
—  our  first,"  said  Crane.  "  I  '11  write  the  invi 
tation,  and  we  '11  send  Lefferts  to  the  garret  with 
it." 

"  Don't  you  think  I  'd  better  go  up  and  ex 
plain?"  said  Claudia. 

'  The  invitation  will  explain,"  answered  Bur 
ton.  It  read:  "  Mr.  Burton  Crane  and  Miss 
Claudia  Revelry  request  the  pleasure  of  the  Rev- 
ellys'  company  at  supper  immediately." 

They  roused  Lefferts,  who  had  by  this  time 
fallen  into  a  comfortable  sleep.  "  Just  run  up 
and  give  this  note  to  the  people  you  '11  find  in  the 
garret,  there  's  a  good  fellow,"  said  Crane. 

262 


Lefferts  sat  up,  rubbing  his  eyes.  '  The  peo 
ple  I  '11  find  in  the  garret,"  he  murmured.  "-But 
how  about  the  little  black  men  in  the  chimney, 
and  the  ghosts  who  live  in  the  wall?  This  is  the 
strangest  house,  Crane,  the  very  strangest  house  I 
ever  knew."  But  he  took  the  note  and  wandered 
slowly  upstairs  with  it,  shaking  his  head. 

On  the  landing  of  the  second  story,  his  eye 
caught  the  whisk  of  a  skirt,  and  pursuing  it  in 
stantly,  he  came  upon  Lily.  He  cornered  her  in 
the  angle  of  the  stairs. 

"  Hold  on,"  he  said,  "  I  have  a  note  for  you, 
at  least  I  have  if  you  are  one  of  the  people  who 
live  in  the, garret." 

Lily,  knowing  nothing  of  the  explanation  that 
had  taken  place  between  Reed  and  Crane,  was  not 
a  little  alarmed  at  being  thus  caught  in  a  house 
from  which  she  had  been  so  recently  dismissed. 
She  did  not  think  quickly  in  a  crisis,  and  now  she 
could  find  nothing  to  say  but  "  I  don't  exactly  live 
in  the  garret." 

"  How  interesting  it  would  be,"  observed  Lef 
ferts,  "  if  you  would  sit  down  here  on  the  stairs 
and  tell  me  who  you  are." 

263 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  There  's  nothing  to  tell,"  said  Lily,  wonder 
ing  what  she  had  better  admit.  "  I  'm  just  the 
housemaid." 

"  Oh,"  cried  Lefferts,  "  then  there  are  lots  of 
things  to  tell.  I  have  always  wanted  to  ask  house 
maids  a  number  of  questions.  For  instance,  why 
is  it  that  you  always  drop  the  broom  with  which 
you  sweep  the  stairs  at  six  in  the  morning?  Why 
do  you  fancy  it  will  conduce  to  any  one's  comfort 
to  shut  the  blinds  and  turn  on  all  the  lights  in  a 
bedroom  on  a  hot  summer  evening?  Why  do  you 
hide  the  pillows  and  extra  covering  so  that  one 
never  finds  them  until  one  is  packing  to  go  away 
the  next  morning?  If  you  are  a  housemaid,  you 
do  these  things;  and  if  you  do  these  things,  you 
must  know  why  you  do  them." 

Lily  smiled.  "  I  'm  afraid  I  was  a  very  poor 
housemaid,"  she  answered.  "  Anyhow,  I  'm  not 
even  that  any  more.  I  was  dismissed." 

"  Indeed,"  said  Lefferts.  "  Now  that  must  be 
an  interesting  experience.  I  have  had  several  per 
fectly  good  businesses  drop  from  under  me,  but  I 
have  never  been  dismissed.  Might  I  ask  what 
led  to  it  in  your  case?  " 

264 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

A  reminiscent  smile  stole  over  Lily's  face. 
"  Mr.  Crane  dismissed  me,"  she  said,  "  for  saying 
something  which  I  believe  he  thought  himself.  I 
called  Mrs.  Falkener  an  old  harridan." 

Lefferts  shouted  with  pleasure. 

"  If  Crane  had  had  a  spark  of  intellectual 
honesty,  he  'd  have  raised  your  wages,"  he  said. 
"  It 's  just  what  he  wanted  to  say  himself." 

"  Oh !  I  was  glad  to  be  dismissed,"  returned 
she.  "  I  never  approved  of  the  whole  plan  any 
how."  And  then  fearing  she  had  betrayed  too 
much,  she  added,  "  And  now  you  might  tell  me 
who  you  are." 

"  My  name  is  Lefferts." 

"  Any  relation  to  the  poet?  " 

It  would  be  impossible  to  deny  that  this  unex 
pected  proof  of  his  fame  was  agreeable  to  Lef 
ferts.  The  conversation  on  the  stairs  became 
more  absorbing,  and  the  note  was  less  likely  to  be 
delivered  at  all. 

In  the  meantime  Claudia,  while  setting  the 
table  in  the  dining-room,  had  sent  Crane  down 
to  the  kitchen  floor  to  get  something  out  of  the 
ice-box.  As  Crane  approached  this  object  about 

265 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

which  so  many  sentimental  recollections  gathered, 
he  saw  he  had  been  anticipated.  A  figure  was  al 
ready  busy  extracting  from  it  a  well-filled  plate. 
At  his  step,  the  figure  turned  quickly.  It  was 
Brindlebury. 

Even  Brindlebury  seemed  to  appreciate  that, 
after  all  that  had  occurred  in  connection  with  his 
last  departure,  to  be  caught  once  again  in  Crane's 
house  was  a  serious  matter.  It  would  have  been 
easy  enough  to  save  himself  by  a  confession  that 
he  was  one  of  the  Revellys,  but  to  tell  this  with 
out  the  consent  of  his  brother  and  sisters  would 
have  been  considered  traitorous  in  the  extreme. 

He  backed  away  from  the  ice-box.  "  Mr. 
Crane,"  he  said,  with  unusual  seriousness,  "  you 
probably  feel  that  an  explanation  is  due  you." 
And  there  he  stopped,  not  being  able  at  the  mo 
ment  to  think  of  anything  to  say. 

Crane  took  pity  on  him.  "  Brindlebury,"  he 
said,  "  it  would  be  ungenerous  of  me  to  conceal 
from  you  that  our  relative  positions  are  reversed. 
At  the  present  moment  the  power  is  all  in  your 
hands.  Have  a  cigarette.  I  believe  you  used  to 
like  this  brand." 

266 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

"  Only  when  I  had  smoked  all  my  own." 

'  You  see,  Brindlebury,  it  is  not  only  that  I  am 
obliged  to  forgive  you,  I  have  to  go  further.  I 
have  to  make  up  to  you.  For  the  truth  is, 
Brindlebury,  that  I  want  to  marry  your  sister." 

'  You  want  to  marry  Jane-Ellen?  " 

"  More  than  I  can  tell  you." 

"And  what  does  she  say?" 

"  She  likes  the  idea." 

"  Bless  my  soul !  you  are  going  to  be  my 
brother-in-law." 

"  No  rose  without  its  thorn,  I  understand." 

The  situation  was  too  tempting  to  the  boy's 
love  of  a  joke.  ,  He  seated  himself  on  the  top  of 
the  ice-box  and  folded  his  arms. 

"  I  do  not  know,"  he  said,  "  that  I  should  be 
justified  in  giving  my  consent  to  any  such  mar 
riage.  Would  it  tend  to  make  my  sister  happy? 
The  woman  who  marries  above  her  social  position 
—  the  man  who  marries  his  cook  —  is  bound  to 
regret  it.  Have  you  considered,  Mr.  Crane,  that 
however  you  may  value  my  sister  yourself, 
many  of  your  proud  friends  would  not  receive 
her?" 

267 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

"  To  my  mind,  Brindlebury,  these  social  dis 
tinctions  are  very  unimportant.  Even  you  I 
should  be  willing  to  have  to  dinner  now  and  then 
when  we  were  alone." 

'  The  deuce  you  would,"  said  Brindlebury,  and 
added,  "  but  suppose  my  sister's  lack  of  refine 
ment  — " 

"  I  can't  let  you  talk  like  that  even  in  fun,  Rev- 
elly,"  said  Crane.  "  Get  off  your  ice-box  and  let 
us  go  back  to  Claudia." 

"  Ah,  you  knew  all  along?  " 

"  I  have  suspected  for  some  time.  Reed  told 
me  this  evening." 

But  when  they  reached  the  dining-room, 
Claudia  was  not  there.  She  had  gone  herself  to 
tell  her  news  to  her  brother  Paul.  He  was  sit 
ting  alone  in  the  garret  with  the  remnants  of  the 
game  of  Coon-Can  before  him.  Claudia  came 
and  put  her  hand  on  his  shoulder,  but  he  did  not 
move. 

4'  Do  you  know  what  I  have  made  up  my  mind 
to  do?"  he  said.  "I  mean  to  go  and  make  a 
clean  breast  of  this  to  Crane.  The  game  is  about 
up,  and  I  don't  think  he  's  had  a  square  deal. 

268 


Claudia 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

He  's  a  nice  fellow,  and  I  'd  like  to  put  myself 
straight  with  him." 

Claudia  remained  standing  behind  her  brother, 
as  she  asked,  "  You  like  him,  Paul?  " 

"  Very  much  indeed.  I  think  he  's  behaved 
mighty  well  through  all  this.  Don't  you  like 
him?" 

There  was  an  instant's  pause,  and  then  Claudia 
answered  simply: 

"  I  love  him,  Paul." 

Her  brother  sprang  to  his  feet.  "  Don't  say 
that  even  to  yourself,  my  dear,"  he  said.  "  You 
don't  know  what  men  of  his  sort  are  like.  Spoilt, 
run  after,  cold-blooded.  He  's  not  like  the  men 
you've  ruled  over  all  your  life — " 

"  No,  indeed,  he  's  not,"  said  Claudia. 

"  My  dear  girl,"  her  brother  went  on  seri 
ously,  "  this  is  not  like  you.  You  must  put  this  out 
of  your  head.  After  all,  that  ought  n't  to  be  very 
hard.  You  Ve  hardly  known  the  man  more  than 
a  few  days." 

"  Paul,  that  shows  you  don't  know  what  love  is. 
It  has  n't  anything  to  do  with  time,  or  your  own 
will.  It 's  just  there  in  an  instant.  People  talk 

271 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN ! 

as  if  it  were  common,  as  if  every  one  fell  in  love, 
but  I  don't  believe  they  do  —  not  like  this.  Look 
at  me.  I  Ve  only  known  this  man  as  you  say  a 
little  while,  I  Ve  only  talked  to  him  a  few  times, 
and  some  of  those  were  disagreeable,  and  yet  the 
idea  of  spending  my  life  with  him  not  only  seems 
natural,  but  all  the  rest  of  my  life  —  you  and  my 
home  —  seem  strange  and  unfamiliar.  I  feel 
the  way  you  do  when  you  Ve  been  living  abroad 
hearing  strange  languages  and  suddenly  some  one 
speaks  to  you  in  your  own  native  tongue.  When 
Burton  — " 

"Burton?" 

"  Did  n't  I  tell  you  we  're  engaged?  " 

"  My  dear  Claudia,  you  must  admit  we  don't 
really  know  anything  about  him." 

'  You  have  the  rest  of  your  life  for  finding  out, 
Paul." 

They  went  downstairs  presently  to  supper  —  a 
meal  that  promised  to  be  a  good  deal  more  agree 
able  than  dinner  had  been.  For  all  Paul's  ex 
pressed  doubts,  he  had  every  disposition  to  make 
himself  pleasant  to  his  future  brother-in-law,  and 
even  Lily  had  felt  his  charm.  Lefferts,  the  only 

272 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

person  in  the  dark  as  to  the  whole  situation,  served 
as  an  excellent  audience.  All  four  recounted  — 
together  and  in  turn  —  the  whole  story,  from  the 
moment  when  the  idea  had  first  occurred  to 
Claudia,  at  eleven  years  of  age,  that  she  would 
like  to  learn  to  cook,  down  to  the  subtlest  allusion 
of  that  evening's  dinner-table. 

Then  suddenly  there  was  a  loud  peal  at  the  front 
door-bell.  Every  one  knew  instantly  what  it  was 
—  Reed  returning  to  make  one  more  effort  to  save 
Claudia's  reputation. 

'  Well,"  said  Paul,  sinking  down  in  his  chair 
and  thrusting  his  hands  still  deeper  into  his 
pockets,  "  I  shan't  let  him  in.  My  future  depends 
on  my  getting  over  the  habit  of  answering  bells." 

"  Same  here,"  said  Brindlebury. 

"  I  certainly  shan't  open  the  door  for  the  man," 
said  Crane,  "  and  Claudia  shall  go  only  over  my 
dead  body." 

Again  the  bell  rang. 

Lily  rose.  "  I  shall  let  him  in,"  she  said,  "  I 
think  you  are  all  very  unjust  to  Randolph." 

Claudia  smiled  as  her  sister  left  the  room. 

"  There,"  she  said,  "  that 's  all  right.  No  one 
273 


COME  OUT  OF  THE  KITCHEN! 

has  such  a  good  effect  on  Randolph  as  Lily  has. 
In  fifteen  minutes  he  will  be  perfectly  calm  and 
polite.  In  half  an  hour  she  will  have  persuaded 
him  he  likes  things  better  the  way  they  are." 

"  I  should  think,"  said  Lefferts,  glancing  at 
Claudia,  "  that  it  might  take  her  a  little  longer 
than  that." 

It  did  take  her  a  little  longer. 


THE  END 


274 


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